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Kalon R Oct 2018
It started as an ache,
An ache that always whispered:
"You'll never belong" but then
It became an obsession
of finding that belonging
but always knowing that I won't.

So what am I to do? A lost American
With generational displacement.
Do I keep searching
or try to find it in her (whoever she is)
or just mask it...
Until I die
Creating my own culture of melancholy
"Maybe home is somewhere I'm going and never been before'
Kalon R Apr 2014
The thought of this girl
The girl who stimulated the mind
I challenged, she won

The mental game of chess
We exchanged pawns at first
Then the field started to open
I sent out my queen to capture her king
One by one taking down her peace.
Flipping her every move against her

But she had a secret plan, a terrible dark secret plan
That I should of known.

I made my move for the takedown
Queen and (k)night ready to fight.
My move I put the queen in position
I set up for the end, it's her move.
She has duplicate rooks
My king is in the corner
Next thing I know ... Checkmate
Old poem in my collection that I found really interesting
Kalon R Nov 2014
Ya know, I devoted two years of my life to you;
Yeah I wasn't perfect,
Yeah I had other flings,
Yeah I was making decisions to leave you.

But you
Left me
You left me
YOU left me.
(Bravo)
We Weren't even together-
But the love was,
Oh, the love the was there.
The love of a confused will;
hunting for who knows what.

I can still see - your eyes twinkle like the love ridden star song
I can still see your tireless dedication to try and figure out a puzzle
that doesn't want to be solved
I can still see our chemistry, that I will never see again.

A last good bye is in order
But
I will
Just sit
And watch
You and this guy,
And your smile. From a Distance;
I just find it interesting that any stanza could stand alone as a poem itself.
Kalon R Feb 2014
Where's my Revy?
I want the quick tempered badass, with a broken past and a dimly lit heart who loves me but doesn't want to accept it

Where's my Keiko?
The girl who will stay with me despite my demons, who will fight when she has to, smart enough to excel, and will wait for me to become a man

Where's my Winry?
The sweetheart who goes through thick and thin, the person that doesn't just yell at me when I'm broke but also fixes me like no one else can

Where's my Mikasa?
The one of a kind, warrior who is powered by a thought of me, who can slay my giants, and save me from myself

The real question is ...what do I have to offer?
These women come from Black Lagoon, Yu Yu Hakusho, Full Metal Alchemist, Attack On Titan
Kalon R Sep 2012
I was born to make music
I love music
That's why I like you
Your voice
the masterpiece that is your voice
It has the ability to calm me
Your eyes, they drop my heart
They hum a story of love
Your smile is the trumpet
Piercing through the crowd in my heart
You're the words of the song
that controls my mind
You're the words to my instrumental
We were born to make a song
"A beautiful sound, just like a symphony"
Kalon R Jun 2012
The wind howling a beautiful noise
The smell reminding me of Christmas
The sky looking broken
One part blue, one part scarlet
A glance down all you see is green
Trees standing together o so militant
Firing shots of oxygen...123
Now everyone breathe
What a breath, in the fresh air
Look to your left its clear
Look to your right it's a dead deer
Ooooo the contrast on the open road
Red stains on this golden road
Kalon R Jun 2012
Isolation the main cause of a person’s dread
The monster abandoned like a child in a dumpster
The monster or beast with those seven heads
Created bigger than 7 feet but still a youngster

Soon enough it just became a killer
It used the night time as its cover
It came out at night like thriller
The only thing it wanted was a lover

Love of course, being its buried treasure
If he couldn’t have a wife then no one could
Killing my beautiful wife gave it pleasure
While spying with a family it worked with wood

The hideous creature with a warm heart
Maybe me creating it was a mistake from the start
First Ever poem ...had to write it for school about Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, it basically highlights the monsters adventure and Victors thought. I used the Shakespearean sonnet form, its very roughly put together though. The title is also a quote from the book.
Kalon R Jan 2017
Nothing can compare to the feeling of her. Nothing matches, she's one of a kind but with like any flower you have to let it go when it's dying. You can water it more, expose it to light but without the right grounding it'll wither away, and we both know true love stays. No matter the day or the feeling. True love never leaves, it will grieve it will sting but it'll never leave. It's like a fire it burns when you touch it and its hot when youre close but the more you're exposed the more it feels like home. Love is that I love you at the end of the day. Love is that argument that keeps you up all night. Love is compromise and making someone a priority. That's why love is so coveted because not everyone gets to experience the true nature of love. There is no finger pointing there is just ears ready to bear whatever noise you make, and to take every punch thrown. Love is beautiful, I do love you, but I don't think the love is mutual.

And that's okay.
Kalon R Dec 2015
*** is dominance
Nothing more and
Nothing less.
It's all about knowing
How I can get away
With theft.
I will stab and probe
Run around the world
And palm that globe.
I am your master
You will do as I say.
I will dominate and hurt you
I don't care what you say.
I run your world when I caress your back,
I make you feel whole
And give you everything you lack.
I treat you like ****
But you still come back.
All because *** is dominance
And I dominate you.
"****** behavior, in human culture, is always about something more than pleasure and/or reproduction: it's often about forms of power and dominance"
Kalon R Mar 2015
What is it about early in the morning?
Why is there a romance
in the girl
sitting over there
with a cup of coffee?
Why is her existence the very romance that I crave?
Why does every bite SHE takes
Make me ponder marriage?
I don't even know this girl
But she sure is romantic.
Early morning romance is evil
With its slithering tail of deceit.
She's not perfect,
I could name every flaw.
But in that moment she is the most perfect girl I've ever seen.
Early morning romance
you unjust-seductress.
Forcing the sun to act as Cupid
Winding the wind so it whispers silent melodies
Arranging an extra table in between us so that it becomes THE boundary that I cannot cross.
Early Morning Romance
You are an evil maniacal *******, Using my heroine as your puppet...
You offer me hope,
For my impossible romance.
You dangle this
unreachable sublime dream
Right in front of me.
And then she leaves, and my life!
Becomes real again.
Kalon R Mar 2015
I am Emma Bovary
I am Prufrock
I am the Underground Man
I am Gretta

I'm trapped in my mind, wondering why I am in this situation...
I'm unsure of myself and my feelings...
I needed to dominate but now I realize what I got isn't what I want...
I'm judged by my past and still wanting to re-live my glory days...

I too am Baumer...
I'm fighting but it's time to rest
Oh Dorian! why am I so perfect?

Tomorrow, I'll be at breakfast and won't see the girl who made me feel this way, I'll give up hope
and continue lying saying "I'll elope"

Besides, she'll think I'm ugly and I'll feel alone and ashamed

I too...



Am Decaying on The Inside
"She was eaten up with desires, with rage, with hate. The rigid folds of her dress covered a tormented heart of which her chaste lips never spoke"
Kalon R Jun 2014
Perhaps.
I follow the night,
And the moon follows me.
Creating a vicious cycle, until I
Run into the sun...
Perhaps.
Kalon R Jan 2017
Retrograde.

There it goes,
out the park!!!

Look mom a ball,
Can I keep it?

With the first overall pick in the draft
The crowd roars.

This just breaking
"What ****"

My client...
Freeze.
Kalon R Jun 2012
This ocean breeze
Lightly slapping my face
The palm trees 
Standing tall swaying in its place
Oh Florida, how romantic you are
With your view of perfection 
Every one here has a connection
Only because you have brought us here
Oh Florida, how bipolar you are
Day time you are hotter than hell
Night time you hit me with cupids spell
Down here, seeking love
Take my heart on a flight like a magic rug
You really are a lifetime of memories
Only thing is I want a love to share it with me
Kalon R Mar 2014
The long hair, swaying and free

(Knock knock knock)
Someone's at the  door
It's a white figure, I let it in

(Knock knock knock)
Someone's at the door
It's a black figure, I let it in

I let them both in
But the hair is no longer free?
No it's tied, captured by one thing...

The black figure suggest I cut it
The white one suggest I doesn't
The white offers freedom,  but the black seems more appealing

I choose to alternate, but one thing is missing
My Hair.
Kalon R Nov 2015
Equivalent exchange is an easy concept to understand; you give something and something of greater or equal value is returned. So, I give up drinking then I get... Control. So, if I give up my life then a new one will come right after it, right? No, because we're human and we have to work for change and everything else. So equivalent exchange doesn't work because I can give up as much as I want but my ******* problems will keep on keeping on, no matter what I do. So, why bother? I literally have nothing to gain or lose, so why bother?

Yeah, my friends and family would say your life has meaning but that's some theoretical *******. The devil is the only sane one, he's like "yeah just end it and everything will be okay". It's so simple, it's genius. But I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live or exist but I don't want to die. I know my life is bigger than this but it's hard to see, partly because I have nothing to look forward to anymore. The only thing I do is have *** and drink and that's it, but the more *** I have the more sad I feel and the more drinks I have to the more dumb I get. I'm just trying to hide my pain from myself, but that equivalent exchange law has nothing to offer me, so it just keeps giving me my pain and some more.
Kalon R Oct 2016
Love doesn't excite me as much as heartbreak.

Love is like freedom, no worries, nothing holding you back and you feel it.

Heartbreak is like being buried alive. You're gasping for air only taking in dirt. Only way out is if someone saves you but even then you're so traumatized.

Heartbreak isn't a fleeing emotion, it's  not an emotion at all; It's trauma it has a lasting impact. You will never see the world the same again, even though nothing has changed. That person will always have a hold on you. And you can't do anything about it.
Kalon R Nov 2013
You need to watch
your mouth today

                                                          ­                                             You need to
                                                              ­                                         Wash yours

I never cuss ever!

                                                          ­                                  Except you called me
                                                              ­                              the b word

Now I know you're
thinking of someone else

                                                           ­                 I was lying
                                                           ­                 hoping
                                         ­                                   you would
                                                           ­                 just agree

Don't you have anything
better to do than lie
about me

                                                            Nope­
                                                            Caus­e you're all i think about

You just keep em coming
Don't ya
haha

                                                    Unfo­rtunately for you,
                                                    Yes I do

You'll run out
someday

                                            Eh, only when my passion for you
                                                             ­     fades

Ohh it will fade
very soon
I'm sure

                               mmm you don't know
                               me too well

But
I know me
and once you realize
I'm not that special
you'll move right along

                            You can be the most
                            unspectacular person ever
                            but I obviously find
                            something
                            special about you

It's ok
everyone makes mistakes

                                            I think you just want
                                            it to be one

Getting a little deep
over there
dontcha think

                                         Yeah that happens a lot,
                                         But what would you expect
                                         From a person who writes
                                         and studies poetry?

Ohh so you write poetry too,
I wanna hear something

                                                      ­                           No...

Well why not

                                                            ­                               I'm not that good and
                                                             ­                              two that's letting you
                                                             ­                              into a part of me that
                                                            ­                               you probably don't really
                                                          ­                                 want or need to know

I respect that
Text messages turned into a poem
Kalon R Jun 2012
The torment and agony of not being with you  
the joyous pleasures you put my heart through
Separation will make us grow farther
Our love under scrutiny like a martyr
Loving you at the speed of light
You always take my heart on a flight 
The wondrous beauty of you
The wondrous beauty of two 
Two is stronger than one, 
but we stand as one
Meet me on a hilltop
high above civilization 
So God can admire You,
his wonderful creation
About me and my highschool love going our separate ways
Kalon R May 2014
Oh, how the melodies breathe
How the drum and heart beat
The vocals of her voice take me to heaven
The lyrics giving purpose to life
The strings plucking my soul
Oh, music come alive
Kalon R Feb 2017
Is it worth living if you have to tie a noose?

With each passing day
you make a new knot
on a new rope

With the hope that you'll live.
But in reality
you already have one on your neck
And each day you're making more and more
To look at.

You see all your mistakes,
Each rope spelling your
Flaws, tears, fears,
And yet you press on.

You create an illusion
A world where you're happy
You see yellow and green
and all those other happy colors
And do everything because you
Want to see everyone smile.

But you're gasping to stay alive
And then all you feel is blue.
Kalon R Mar 2015
You talk about selfishness all the time, well you thinking like this is selfish,
I need you to live.
enjoy YOUR life,
enjoy the life YOU share with others, enjoy every smile YOU bring,
enjoy every thought of love YOU give me,
enjoy every time YOU make your family happy,
enjoy the fact that if YOU go YOU will be missed,
enjoy the moment,
enjoy the thought of the future,
enjoy us,
enjoy the fact that YOU love someone, enjoy YOUR kind nature,
just like everyone else
enjoy yourself!



No Surrender!!!
title comes from Book Of Life, which is amazing
Kalon R May 2014
You tell me to say "I Love You"
Honestly, I don't love you
But I say it anyways
I Say it to make you happy
And for a reward
Speak those magic words
And maybe, just maybe ill get to ****** my sword
Stabbing as far as I can push it
With a face of a murderer
First i killed your "purity"
Next is your security
Ill make you crack
And like the human body
You will build up more protection
My navy controlling your land
And the thought of me is your infection
Two places to go either bitter or a **
Choose neither and continue to grow
Because there is someone waiting for you
Someone so magnificent, that your insecurities will be swept away
But make sure he's a man
And Then I won't be just a memory
Ill be a lesson and a reason to cherish
This man even more
Kalon R Sep 2015
Breaking a heart is like tearing a piece of your heart away. You think you're okay with the decision. You think you're breaking someone's heart to save them, but in reality you're just shattering your own while cracking someone else's.

You rip your heart out of your chest, you **** on any notion of love you ever had. You go through stages of relief but lying under that is this darkness waiting to consume the rest of you. It's the lurking shadow that no light can fix. You try everything to get over what you did but it always comes back full force after you try to suppress it. It comes back worse and worse but you're trying to fight it, but you can't, and hiding it is impossible.

Each part of your shattered heart becomes a diamond in your blood stream: shining and solid and cutting through your veins, with a cold chill demanding your pain. With every thought and feeling, it needs to be seen, it needs to be heard, it needs to be the show but you hide it because it's not what you want to feel or see.

And so

Maybe my heart isn't shattered it's just covered in darkness, becoming cold and trying to adapt. Trying to learn to maneuver, adapting, it's not pure anymore it's a killer contemplating suicide; it's lost begging to be found but wanting to be hidden from the world, it begs to be known but it never wants to exist again.
"In Mexico, there are these fish that have colonized the freshwater caves along Sierra del Abra.They were lost.They found themselves living in complete darkness. But they didn’t die. Instead, they thrived. They adapted.They lost their pigmentation, their sight, eventually even their eyes. With survival, they became hideous. I’ve rarely thought about what I once was. But I wonder if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become less hideous? " - Raymond Reddington
Kalon R Jan 2014
Remember when we went to the movies?
Remember when you bought me a football and we played catch?
Remember when I made a bubble so I wouldn't inhale your smoke?
Remember when you disappeared?
Remember when you came back?
Remember that cycle?
Remember when I was over my friends and you called and I let him talk to you because I didn't wanna hear your lies?
Remember that void you left?
Remember on your famed holiday at church, I ran to the bathroom because you weren't there?
Remember when all my uncles consoled me because my eyes felt like they could reenact Niagara?
Remember you came back and said you changed, after the letters that said you would change?
Remember when you still did the same thing?
Remember all the times I graduated and you weren't there?
Remember when someone mentions you, I get really quiet?
Do you?
Well, I remember all that you haven't done.
And I often wonder why...
"How come he don't want me man" - Will Smith
Kalon R May 2016
What's better than planting a seed?
And then watching it grow?
I think nothing
But it's funny how fate likes to go.
It wasn't even fate, instead
It was death herself.
Death wrapped in flesh,
Thinking I can save a living life.
Now it's all a dream,
And instead of a plant
All we have are weeds.
"Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted"
Kalon R Jan 2017
Scream over and over but it relaeases nothing. This hurts and I hope my seed wasn't planted. I hope it doesn't grow to be me or you. I hope it becomes its own and stands taller than me or you. I hope it knows both of us, and I hope it stays true. Stress stress stress none of it is cool.
Kalon R Apr 2017
Rosary touch
Clutch
Rush-ing
Is my new religion

I plead and beg
You're Lazarus
But I'm still dead

Rushing
Is my new Religion

I read you
Over and over
I please you
We're over We're over

Rushing is my religion

It's not new to me
It's new to you
Nightmares from a bottle
While I hang on a rood

Rushing is a religion
But it's just not new

Why?
Kalon R Dec 2012
You tell me to say "I Love You".
Honestly, I DON'T love you
But , I say it anyways
I Say it to make you happy
And for a reward.
Mainly, for the reward.
Speak those magic words
And maybe, just maybe
I'll get to ****** my sword.
Slicing as deep as I can,
With the face of a murderer.
First i killed your "purity";
Next is your security.
My pipe was under pressure,
But you cracked...
Ever  so slightly.
Just a little crack in your heart
This minor crack being the  begining of your Genesis
Your special gift from God for your husband
Is now mine!
Mine, Mine, Mine...
That Guy, who's plan is to play you.
Inspired by Broken Mirrors by Jon Connor and Lost Ones by J.Cole
Kalon R Nov 2015
I said I never would but I'm addicted to the fun, I've never had this much I don't remember anything but I woke up with a bruised nose, and a ***** room, and a pleasant attitude. The type of attitude when you're in a great mood and nothing can bring you down. I even traded war stories with a newfound mentor. The life that  I was so against, is slowly becoming my own.
My only gripe is why didn't I start earlier?
With Ups I guess there are truly downs. I almost fought a friend, I was annoyed to no end by everyone we were with. Every car, oh it's a cop... Every cop, oh act natural. I met a gorgeous 21 year old who was using me to get someone jealous. I almost danced with this guys girlfriend, in front of him. And now I'm just sitting at work exhausted and ready to go home. Yeah, The Weekend's Lament.
****, when did I write this... It perfectly describes me right now but it's like two years old
Kalon R Jul 2018
Drinking alone,
I feel so happy.
Noone to judge me
and no reason to try to race home.
I'm not bored but I feel at peace
and that's the goal when you're trying to drown your past
So the plan came to fruition just hope there's no hangover.
"The plan was to drink until the pain over, but what's worse: the pain or the hangover"
Kalon R Nov 2013
There's a friend--
Why JUST a friend?
BeCause  she said.

There's a girL--
Why JUST a girl?
Because i said.

You're just A boy.
That...
I won't deny

Who do yoU want?
i don't know.

Who shoulD you want?
That's too easy.

"Pick a Side"
"mIx em"

Well, there's
a challenge
a chase
an obsession
...It's fleeing
Or, Am I?
Kalon R Aug 2015
I look up to the sky just waiting for our bomb to explode. I'm too scared to cut the wire because you would be crushed, even though I secretly know I'll be the dead one. I don't know why you won't just go take cover. Apparently my ticking isn't enough, we're not slow dancing, we're playing hot potato with an atomic bomb,

we both lost. We both have been burned. And these scars will last a lifetime.
"There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong, or useless pain. The sort of pain that's only suffering. I have no patience for useless things".
Kalon R Apr 2017
trees stand so tall
and the taller they stand
the more coveted they become
one chop won't break them
but one chop a day
and that tall tree will fall
Kalon R Nov 2013
She told me to
expect greatness
Expect Greatness
To expect is to anticipate
To be great is...?
She told me a message
without any context
What a way to confuse
What a deliciously inspiring way
To confuse me
This open concept
That acts like a convict
Seeping through the sewers
Of my mind
Not only does it travel but
I still remember the conviction
Of that time
The heart doing it's best titanic reenactment
And beating like a teenage boy
But the day before it was different
The guy talked about the mind
He was raised the same way
But he needed that beating
His was different for me
He touched my stomach
And my flesh flew back as if a demon itself was being repulsed by the hand of Jesus
It stayed like that for a week
And I could feel it sore
He said "oh yeah this one has a fire in him"
Where did that fire go?
I realized it's still there
But like any fire it needs fuel
Oxygen, sticks, openness
I lacked all of it
But somehow I am to expect greatness
But Mark gave me an answer
You must serve to be great
But serve what?
That is the next question
Kalon R Jun 2012
Was on a peak,
Now we are going downhill.
Thinking about ******* around,
Just to see how hurt you would feel 
We were in the heavens,
now we  are in the ground
And I'm still the one feeling like a clown
I put you on a throne and gave you a crown
Worshipped your every move 
I even gave you Cinderella's shoe
Now I'm just sitting here like a fool
Where do we stand? I have no clue
Kalon R May 2014
Let me share this new world with you
We met on the balcony of Olympus
Above life itself, I was in a paradise... it was perfect
We went on a date, I was in purgatory but when held hands I was back to that paradise... it was perfect

It was perfect - besides me being drunk and then awkward-
Now I'm just intoxicated with the idea of you.
As if you were perfect...
Well I perceived you to be

You seriously got my hopes so high I'm just ready to do my best Titanic impression, you're the iceberg and my feelings are the ocean... I'm gonna die like this!!!

The night when we met, was perfect
The only thing that mattered was talking to you
It was too perfect
I thought I was in the new world,
Silly me, I'm just from Columbus

But I'll just try to forget you and go back to my old world of
Lost Paradise... hopelessness;
and continue my expedition for a burning romance
Kalon R Jan 2017
They say love is amazing but for me it's a wound

and I'm just starting to scratch the surface

With you.

Depsite just a scratch, the wound is starting to bleed. Emotions leaking out, and pain slowly coming through.

What do I do? What do I do?


What do I do?
Kalon R Mar 2014
I could move on,
I could stay put,
I chased you for a while
I might of just chased you for the chase.
If that be the case
Then I must depart
I must start looking for a new chase to start.
But, I know if you're happy
While I'm still chasing
I'm going to want to come back.

My feelings running an endless loop
Even you're sweetness couldn't decay my tooth
Don't give me *** that'll be the end
Funny how at first all I wanted was to be your friend.
Old poem I found in my collection :)
Kalon R Mar 2015
I looked at you and you made my eyes enlarge. I analyzed you to see your style, you had on fresh toms with perfectly cuffed jeans with your signature orange jacket and your green book bag.

The contrast was perfect, the clash of your bright colors didn't make me stop trying to catch a glimpse of your face though. The first time I only saw it passing by, and it was beautiful. I was waiting for you to look up, so I could see the hue of your eyes. I saw your nose which seemed to be at a perfect acute angle. Your silver ball earrings, you round cuticles, your luscious flowing golden-brown locks.

I noticed you picked up a Luna bar, and many other types of granola. You must be healthy or aware of what you eat.

You're like the moon because you're slowing driving me crazy, your dim shine is there but it never goes unnoticed, I could chase you for hours and still never catch you, I wish I could howl a love song to you, I wish I could have one conversation and just learn your name.

I wish my heart would stop beating as I think of you and I wish I belonged to you.
"Now you've listened to my story. Here's the point that I have made, Chicks were born to give you fever be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade. They give you fever when you kiss them. Fever if you live and learn. Fever! till you sizzle; What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn"
- Peggy Lee
Kalon R Jun 2012
How does she do it.
The Teen mom how does she do it?
Is it her family or is it her child?
Or is it for herself?
Is it for pity or is it for wealth?
No! It couldnt be either
She takes far too much criticism
It couldn't all be worth it
But maybe it is
Or Maybe she just loves her child
Yeah that's it, it has to be it
The four lettered savior, Love
Kalon R Jun 2018
At this point I'd rather just be completely alone. Because then there's no facade that I'm never not alone.
And that's the thing that hurts me the most.
It's like I'm telling myself a lie always,
to cope with my hidden fear of being alone.
"Yeah you have this and that" but when I'm laying here alone in the dark trying to sleep all my thoughts creep and I know I'm truly alone.
And that's the only thing I need answered:
Why do I constantly feel this way?
Kalon R Nov 2013
Is it bad that I want to experience heartbreak? I want to fall deeply in love just to see how they would shatter me. I want to depend on that person like oxygen and have them cut off until I turn blue. I want them to destroy my very hope for life, because in the darkness blooms the light that shines the brightest  and shows the way. I believe that I could never reach my highest without first going through the low. I believe I will never be able to make a women happy until I know what's it's like to be miserable.
Out of the ash of heartbreak a Phoenix who blooms brighter than the sun will rise once more. For as Christians we are called to die to know real love, so why would the rules change for love? Don't we have to have nothing to be able to know exactly what we deserve? Don't we have to go through much adversity to know the slightest sight of triumph? You cut your hair to make it grow, and forest fires bloom beauty, why would love be any different?
Late Night thoughts
Kalon R Feb 2017
The one question ive been asking myself

What is love?

Is it the moonlit walks that give romance a name?

Is it that feeling of a fire building deeply inside?

Is it that butterfly that flutters when they call your name?

Is it the tears that flow down your face like a river?

Is it the shield that stops a bullet from piercing your skin?

Is it the choice to wake up everyday and say your feelings haven't changed?
Kalon R Dec 2015
I had a girlfriend who loved me like a wife but I hurt her over and over.

So... I let her go.

You know what really hurts?

Letting her go. Because you know she will keep coming back over and over no matter what. So you use her for all she has and lash out at her when she questions you. She's there for you at your darkest times and all she wants in return is a hug.

What kind of person would do that?
Someone who deep down hates themselves, and wants control of their emotions and of someone else's life, so they can displace the pain onto someone else.

But you only intensified the pain because you never quit, even though you were dying. Why the hell didn't you just leave when I told you to leave. Why would you stay? What is wrong with you?

You know the biggest lie I ever told myself is that "I don't love you" and the biggest lie I've ever told you is that "I never did". But you're free now and I hope to never see you again. I never deserved your love.

And I hope you never change.

— The End —