I never thought it'd be you.

I never thought I'd fall in love,
At least not after the heartbreak of last time.

I never thought I'd meet
Someone like you,
Who would change me so quickly.

Someone like you,
Who listens, knows, and cares
About what I'm feeling
And why.

Someone whom I can trust
And rely on, no matter what,
No matter when,
And know for a fact that they
Will never leave my side.

Someone like you,
Whom others would know
As a close friend,
Or maybe even a best friend.

I never thought I'd be saying this,
But you're more than a friend,
My love runs so much deeper.

I never thought I'd fall for someone,
As great as my best friend.

I never thought it'd be you.

I miss how your skin feels
When it's pushed up against mine.
With your fingers running
Through my hair
And your lips on my lips.

One hand on my neck,
One of my hands on your hips.
Pulling you closer for one more kiss.

Falling asleep with our
Legs intertwined.
My head on your chest
With a heart that's blind.

The goosebumps you give me
Run down my spine.
As you tell me you love me,
Our hearts align.
Although, it's momentary.

I wish we could stay here,
Forever and always.
In this moment of love
And comfortable daze.

No I am not dead
I attempted suicide but unfortunately failed. I was in the hospital and therefore was unable to log onto this account. I am truly sorry if I worried anybody. Thank you all for the kind messages

~Nicole

I was at a loss for words,
When I had learned the news.
My best friend called me, crying,
Stuttering that it was her mom that she would lose.

I was confused, dumbfounded,
Until she said the word; cancer.
She was shaking and crying,
But I couldn't give her an answer.

Why was this happening,
To a woman so sweet and caring?
She desided to try out chemo
For her family's sake; she was so daring.

She fought and fought,
For nearly seven months.
Then on the seventh of December,
Her eyes closed and heart stopped all at once.

Dear Valerie,
May she rest in peace.
Lord, let her take it easy,
And all her pain cease.

Bless this family,
In this challenging instance.
Bring them closer together,
With their newly made distance.

I look at my left wrist,
The fleshy part,
And I see a window
Into my dark past.
Yes, there are scars
From battles that I fought
And demons that I tried
To cut out of myself.
I grew up playing
Doctor and house,
But no one ever told me
Not to cut the demons out of myself.
I could feel them inside me,
So I tried to get them out,
But my knife wasn't sharp enough,
Or my inscisions were too shallow.
I tried knives and other blades,
I tried alcoholism and drugs,
I tried filling the void with other things,
And popped pills around the clock.
I thought, if I can't **** my demons, maybe they'll **** me,
But I don't want to seem defeated,
So I cut out the middle man,
And tried on my own to **** me.

I woke up in a hospital,
In a gown I'd never seen.
My arms and legs were strapped down
And I began to scream.
Not a scream like getting spooked,
Or when you're taken by surprise,
But the scream of a girl in horror movie,
During her process of being exorcised.
I screamed in horror
And I screamed in pain
Realizing what I had failed to do
And my life would never be the same.

time walks.
giant steps
carving
an absence,
a heart shaped
niche.

time walks.
rosary stones
ground
into nothing.
not an echo
nor a breeze.