I dip my toe in the water
Of this ******* merky sea
the unknown.
I flick the surface with my foot
watching the surface ripple and rock
it’s dark and I can’t see the bottom
but I jump and don’t think;
a head first dive into the unknown
and deeper and deeper I sink
will I ever reach the bottom ?
and if I open my eyes,
would I even be able to see?
I can’t go back
and I can’t foresee
I have to find a way
to find my feet
to learn how to swim
in this blacker than black;
the unexplored ink
of the world


I’m on my own now.

I’m confused
I don’t know how to be happy
was I happier fat?
Or am I happier skinny?
I can’t tell the difference
it’s all the same
it doesn’t matter what I look like
the pain will stick to my hip
through thick and thin.
literally.
Is it my body? Is it my clothes?  
or the way I don’t like the rounded curve of my nose?
no.
it’s none of those.

A humble bumble bee
By the name of Timothy
Flies friskily through the trees
And sways smoothly with the breeze
For the wisping winds of winter
Are coming in a beat
So he must flee to be free
From the cold or he might freeze
So he flies to someplace warm
To a garden by the sea
Where a humble bumble bee
Can go to be a bee

I can’t move
my legs are pinned to my body
squeezing against my chest
my arms restrain to my sides
my hands pressing against my flesh
my eyes wide but i see nothing
the four walls of this confined prison
pinches my skin
and pushes my head into my knees
my breath is heavy
Panting i can’t breathe  
I choke on my own thoughts
my own breath
my heart pounds in my eardrums
I long to stretch my legs
and run far, far away
from this hell I have to call home

I remember a time
where there was an us
not just you and I

baby you’re stunning
and you smell like honey
and flowers and good.
Sweetheart you’re kind
and your mind is graceful
and magnificent,
and I don’t doubt
because I know you’re heaven sent.
I know you’ve been blue
and I have too;
I know you’ve felt fire
both inside and out
but your soul is full
there is no more drought
pour into me
and I’ll pour into you
together we’ll sprout
and grow to turnout
pleased and at peace
and live another day.
Treasure you’re joy
you’re charitable and gentle
soft yet strong
you’re perfect despite your imperfections and flaws.
Baby bring the heat
warm my heart, my hand, and soul
and if we shall fall we’ll land on our feet.

I love you so much I can not take it
so why did I have to take your heart
and break it.

Why do you like me?
what a stupid thing to say
what you do in a day
no one could do in a year
so sit back my dear
and listen to why I like you this way
I like the way you flip your hair after you get out of the shower
and the way you kiss me a thousand times an hour.
I like the how you put up with me when I try to make you dance
and the way you giggle when I give you a small glance.
I like the way you hold me firm when the car takes a sharp turn
and the way we can just sit and watch incense burn.
I like how you make me curious and wild
and the way you make me feel like a child.
I like the special way you hold my hand when we walk
and how when we’re in public you don’t really like to talk.
I like the way your hands are calloused and rough on my skin
and how the passion in your eyes makes me feel within.
I like how you make me feel like a woman
and how you look at me when I’m cookin.
I like the way you grasp me so lightly as if you were holding a fragile vase
and how you kiss me a hundred times all over my face
So why do I like you ?
Oh love, what a stupid thing to say.

the present is a prison
i cant outbreak
my past paints pleasant pictures
upon my windowless walls
leaving me with the world
in my mad mind
bestowing reflections of my future
craving the imminent to dementment
longing for my liberty
fighting for my freedom

I remember that hidden smile
you hid from the world
those slightly crooked teeth
that swift turn of your head
hiding them
embarrassed by your own smile

I remember that hidden smile
you hid from the world
but never from me

The bond forged between us
Is not one that can be broken
by absence, distance, or time.
as I would always belong to him,
so he would always be mine.