Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
And I had to walk away
I was just hoping at least he noticed I didn't run
the title is a thought for after the poem
Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **
Please don't forget me, don't make me your past
I know time is fleeting, time is moving too fast...
Every second of everyday I'm a prisoner thinking about you
What could have been, what should have been, if only we knew...

Don't make me an old memory that you ignore everyday
Because time keeps on ticking and I might fade away...
I'm stuck in the past and you and me are turning to dust
I've lost all my freedom and we are beginning to rust...

So before we wither and before you lock me into your past
Please know that behind these bars, I have only one thing to ask...
Don't forget me, don't forget all the things in the past
Because I'm a prisoner of time and time is moving too fast...
Remember the first time that you told me hello?
It was an awkward moment that I will always know
I remember us laughing in that simple, little moment
A time when we lived solely for our own enjoyment

Remember the first time that you held my hand?
A moment filled with confusion that I didn't understand
I had felt warmth and a tingling in my heart
A memory in my mind that will never depart

Remember the first time you held me in your embrace?
An action filled with love and done with such grace
My own heart started beating like an endless melody
A song that never stopped in our own little fantasy

Remember the first time that our lips finally met?
A beautiful moment I will never forget
It was like an explosion of love that I cannot truly explain
A metallic wine or the sweetest tasting champagne

Remember the first time that you told me goodbye?
The only moment we had that I wanted to die
You were gonna leave me because you needed to be free
I let you go because I knew your lover was something I could never be

Do I regret my decision?
I regret it every second that passes by
Because you will always be my first love
And my love for you will never die...
Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow

A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day

A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning

Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life so unforgiving
You're sewing the reasons to your boat that's drifting away

Your writing your own meanings to the words that people say

You're drifting drifting yourself away.

I can't help you i can only hope you'll be okay.
Letting go, the deepest fear
I could ever imagine

But I had no choice
not if my heart was
ever to be allowed healing

Not stitched or sewn together as
a patchwork cloak that would be
a duvet for the coming months

This would be
the ultimate surrender
to loving you, knowing
wherever I was going
you may catch me up

An uncertainty, I too, let go
without a kiss goodbye or
a farewell glance
as the words
stopped falling
from your mouth into
the vacuum of space
between us

Standing in the smoke of words,
I sit, I lay down
and I watch clouds
fade to nothing.

© Sia Jane
Letting go of falling in love...
Next page