Explain your mind
The thoughts that sink you
Into an ocean of depression

Explain your legs
That are powerless
Staying in one place

Explain your arms
Weakness that they carry
Seemingly pointless

Explain your smile
Explain it
Explain it now
Now
Explain
Explain
Seriously

How are you still looking up?
Smiling?

What I want you to do
Explain yourself.

you...my favorite poem
is that hard to believe?
it is to me
when every poem I write
develops like a newly planted tree
the seed
precious and ever so kind
I plant it into the cold thick ground
but you see dirt
just embraces the fact that every beautiful start
has to start with a little bit of crap
and so we wait
for this noun to grow
everyday elements expose
who it is
the sun signifying his eyes
the rain washing away as it lies
and washing away his lies
once the elements combine
you create one heck of a dime
a flower whose every bit
would never be diminished
and a flower who has been giving the power
to thrive

you are better than the best poem I've written
you make my heart beat faster than time
I am lemon, you are my lime<3

Only one heart beat, some have two
Conjoined love
some people get good morning kisses
others just wake up to the sound of dump trucks
and neighbors kids screaming

I want to be kissed softly again
to know it wasn't just in my head
that people want to be close
people want to be close enough to kiss me

I don't want anything else right now
I'm missing a type of love
one you can only get by a certain type of someone

The girl who couldn’t flirt, stood in the center of the hall.promising smile, style of them all. she talked, don’t get me wrong.but talking is only something,
if he’s  tall, and has reportedly *****
Desperately did she wanna speak. But every peep that she let leak, she said was weak. Because they rarely replied, and she’d get this pain inside. irritable, not friendly at all. Marriage isn’t even an option, when sophomore year she’s already coughing.

freckles*
Did you know that a face without freckles, is like the sky without the stars?*
It is a beautiful imperfection
that no one could hold an objection
so be proud of your face
because you can only erase mistakes

I'll tell you your life is perfect
like you
but I can't because that is not true
your life is a beautiful imperfection
that stands true to only you

From me to you I tell you,
if you make the most out of your life
everything else will come naturally
and over time
you will also see what is truly meant to be

remember to throw your hair across your shoulders
lay your arms strong against your body
grab a mirror
and say
I can be a somebody!

Flailing my arms
Tapping my feet
Licking my lips
Attempting any distraction
For you to notice me once.
It's not easy though
I walk by so slow
To maybe get a second look
But all of this has grown us farther apart
We are gliding apart into the distant stars

not as harmful as the smoke entering an old lady’s lungs

Not as abrupt as a camflauge stop sign

Not as time consuming as old, rerun game Shows playing on loop while you sit and enjoy the company of your slowly dying grandma as she says goodbye. Slowly saying goodbye is much better than saying slowing dying

Come on...
What do you mean you don’t hate anyone? Neither do I. But I strongly dislike those who take others delicate offerings and handle them like yesterday’s trash. You can’t see this delicacy with your eyes, therefore I cannot see the damage. But this girl is no cracked up 1930s handmade pottery bowl from the southern region of France. She’s not an old vase that means something to your long deceased grandmother, so that means it must mean something to you. no. Not even close. Her heart is shaped like a diamond and others act as though she’s a rock and doesn’t know the difference between sincerity and deception. you can spin around her disoriented mind until you get your desired result. Because you take confusion for consent. Because you don’t take I don’t know for an answer. But maybe I really don’t know. Maybe I’m pushing the world back. Denying gravity and maybe a loss of reality. Climbing dumpsters to see what’s good. What’s sealed up. What isn’t contaminated. It’s like looking for affection in a heart that has been walked all over. I sigh when you say you hate someone. Because hate isn’t only a word like (me, her, she) it carries its own legacy and mountainous cliffs of anger. Literally it is a word. But when you’re a dreamer you only think figuratively- yellow and the sunlight are the same thing.

I sat there with friends
admiring cute couples
wishing that could be me

and in barely a minute
I feel a tap on my shoulder
I wonder who it could be?

I realized it was a boy
with a bright yellow sweater
how did he know, that that was my favorite color?

he said
I saw you from across the room
and wanted to say that you are really pretty

I thought my ears were lying
I was so shy
I didn’t even want to look him in the eye

thank you
I said so timidly
it felt like a dream

he started throwing off some cheesy pickup lines
I thought they were adorable
and he seemed so confident

he had major guts
for doing what he did
and I will always remember the day
that he and his heart

came <3

him.
the fire that was once burning so explosively
giving up days after ratchet days to kindle it
him.
It let off so much warmth in my heart
kept me cozy on days of doubt
him.
was unselfish
caring to all
him.
could easily be gone
if I didn't tend it just right
him.*
flaring in extraordinary ways
looked like a devil in an angel kind of way
him.
him.
reminds me of a fire.

“I’m not sure”


I said;

I am.

Goodbye

I'm sorry that I never listen

as I listen to my heart beat in an unfamiliar way

and late at night as I lay in tear soaked pillows
I hear the rain for the fifth time this week

high and low are one
see the snow has to come from somewhere above
the ground selects a glove
and says batter I'm ready
show me all your love

I have a fear of fearing
I want to fly and be caught flying
I should dance when it's not sprinkling but pouring
I could wear a hat when I'm swimming
I would yawn when I'm most alive
I am amazing when I'm around guys
I put a piece of yarn between my toes
I wish I had a magic potion in which made toads.

random

my eyes light up like the star on top of a christmas tree
then the glimmer goes away
and blends back into the green of the tree
when I remember
you always walk past me

it seems like every effort fails
that no matter what brand of makeup I wear
I’ll always look like a whale

not in the fat sense
but in the I choke on my words and spit them out kind
that I’m made of rubber and every person who comes into my life
slides right off

As I look back and see blue skies rippling without end and the gold of a morning sunrise, I am fine,

But every time I'm fine I cross the line of worry and my arms go numb and my legs won't sit still

I know things are fine
But that's just a ploy to get to my inner joy, a place so delicate that breakable is not soft enough

I am fine

-

A vastness of space to breathe beautiful words of love
I synthesize still with the  moon
How far away I look;
because I am

How tender and poetic, leaving footprints
I have been claimed by this world as fodder
I've been disowned by her
she doesn't want me as her daughter

Until I stop searching for myself standing in a spacious pasture
letting myself wander without a care taker

the grip I must feel to have the wheel
to truly have it and not let it slip through the sweat and tears

tighter than where the sky meets the grass, tighter than any connection you've ever had

they shake and want to surrender any day now
but everything's so precious

I had to say goodbye to a friend because she was too much like me, too much like the thoughts that could **** me

an illness that mocks me in my sleep,
repeatedly choosing for me

faking a sense of control that only allows me to pretend
I'm not too grown up for this

the cruelties don't go over my head
they swoop and land

cutting me in deeper
drowning me in my own tears

lifting me up and drifting me away

and yet I remain to wander

Do you ever not know what you're feeling

A gust of wind laying to rest any sin

But you're latching onto something

Something so real but something so unimaginable

You wanna understand but how far do you travel?

Do you rip your heart apart just to understand

Split your mind in half because you can't take it all in

if you knew
you would take it back
one day the suns out
it pours the next
your heart is still here
in disguise in every act of kindness
in every good thing
Your heart is a fossil

arrange yourselves into groups of two
that's when I first met you.

"hello. nobody is left, can I be with you?"
I nodded hesitantly
"do you know what we are doing?"
he asked in a daze
"I have no clue"
he finally sat down
his curly blonde locks plopped on his shoulders
"well we should probably find out."
I scavenged through the book
trying to get a closer look
I read in between the lines
still trying to find

the answer.
that answer meant so much to me
I don't know why
why could it?

"I think we are recognizing fruit flies from the typical kind."

"oh my." he smiled
I didn't even have to force a smile
'"this'll be fun"
I read his lips carefully

"I think so too."

<3

lonely nights never bothered me
because thoughts keep good company
I’d rather be homeless
than hopeless

we aren't together but we're not separated

You're still hanging on in the binding of my story

In his eyes, I see what I feel inside but he has an excuse. In his eyes, I see a world shattered by negligence and abuse. In his eyes I see a tipping ***, hot and enraged. In his eyes, I see a boy, wanting to unleash himself from his cage.

In his eyes I see me
I see my locked up thoughts
my hidden apologies

my brains own starvation
the dirt in his eyes
I have, only in disguise.

today I will unleash my inner self to my class
read a few poems
and hear them clap

I have a storm of butterflies in my chest
of what they may think
am I too deep?
what will they think?
the nerves shoot through my spine
Mom says I'll be alright

as long as I stay true to me
it doesn't matter what my peers think!

when you think-
you have no time to relax
is when you need to.

sit back
let everything else
take care of itself

because it's your life
you're in control
you
are the ruler

so take a stand
relax
and keep moving forward

Love is blind
I don't believe that
Because I can see you clearly
Dearly
I can see the way you walk the world
And don't let it walk you
The way you glance at me
Torture
Because you're not mine
And everyday when I wake up
I remember you have woken up too
And I wonder if you have dreamt of me
In the way I dreamt of you
In everything I do
It reminds me a little of you
I never forget a word spoken
A book locked in my brain
For useless and hopeless days
When I haven't found a nice thing to say
Whenever I see or hear your name
My pulse jumps out of my vein
My friends can call me insane
But they will never hop on the train
Of love
That takes off every day
If my words stay glued to this paper
Then my words are serious
If my words float off
And drift away
Then I know that it was never meant to be
And that you didn't feel the same
But let's hope it doesn't end that way

It's not supposed to happen like this
I heard it was a lie that if a dime hit you in the right place,
You'll eventually die

And I heard that loving bad boys,
Boys with an edge

would make you a criminal,
A bad habit
A low life desperate

But I erase all of those contagious thoughts to the side when his eyes meet mine He stares a little longer and it becomes a little odder, and I don't know why I like that. But I do

If you think he's a "bad" boy, you shouldn't rule him out. You don't need to follow in his steps, just to love him to death

have you ever felt jealous of a connection,
not a person?

..

a melody that wasn't meant for your ears

This is me
not incredibly pretty
but it's all I got
    This is me
    not incredibly smart
    but it's all I got
        This is me
        not incredibly funny
        but it's all I got
            This is me
            not incredibly anything
            but it's all I thought
                Until you arrived
                changed my current perspective
                and my entire life. :)

"It's not my fault."
Well that's actually right.
It's a series of generations
that have changed your life!

I used to think people thought about me a certain way
In my head I would belittle myself
Thinking they didn't like me

I used to think people secretly hated me
So I acted less superior
And didn't accept any accomplishments

I used to think I was right all the time
That was wrong
But now I'm wrong
For thinking I was never right
I'm right
I'm the person I am
And that's perfectly right

they told me to relax
as if i had anything to relax about*

I was nearly failing every class
I was lucky to pass

I thought about things to much
my brain was out of gas

I had no time to relax.

but it was in that moment
that moment of utter rush
confusion
and total wreckage

that I let some wise words
crash to the ground
I overlooked them
and didn't let my friends
snap me back to reality

I took every day as it came
nervous butterflies fluttered about
even suicidal thoughts appeared once in while

I've never had those thoughts

but lately, they've been replaying in my head
scenes to your favorite movie
suddenly it felt like it would be the answer

to what I was stressing

In all of this madness...
what did I learn?

I didn't learn anything
I found it.

I found that as long as you are
you are self motivated

you'll be fine

and in time
your day/week/month/year

will solve itself..

and if you set aside time to relax

not think about the complexities of the world
and stick to the simpler things

you'll make it out alive

When you've seen your own devil~
everyone else seems to matter much more

I don't know you as well as I know myself
and I want you to know I want you to smile

I want you to complain about the lines around your mouth, I want you to laugh when you're older that you were so happy

laugh as so and make sure you know that those lines draw the perfect picture
abstract may it be,
but all too beautiful the same

Kiss me
kiss me now
kiss me forever in the moonlight
kiss me wherever it feels right
just kiss me

Slow as molasses sliding through a riverbank
as fast as a tortoise gets to the other side of the moon
Ripples in your ocean
weak enough to be silent in the night
Strong enough you might float away














-kaitlynmariesdiary

You will not take me alive for I am too powerful.**

You will take me dead, because you are a coward.

what is it in you,

that brings forth the belief
that the sunlight just isn't for you
it's a waste to send light through her veins
when it could be used for the glint in a lovers eye
the pathway to those who die, but then find their guide

not to somebody like me
I wouldn't want to use energy with no purpose

like a rose
trampled on the ground
a beautiful delicacy
that has been ignored
not yet found
like a rose
vibrant in all ways
full of potential
who lives its own kind of way
like a rose*
we are all like a rose

When I asked for silence
I didn't mean silence
I meant get out of my mind
because I am supposed to be the master

Your confidence is
Like the waves forgetting how to dance

the way he floats his head around
like a lost cause
aimlessly looking for something
when i'm around

lost causes
just need a guide
I'll be that special someone
**if you don't mind

The eyes of a woman hang low in the night and glance at no one but themselves, for some, relaxation doesn't exist and intensity persists. You can live tense but there wouldn't be much room left for you.
-

I am no longer functioning
a machine that is now broken
in which used to create works of art
that now has grown dusty and
has an out of order sign taped to the front
someone who has lost their parts
and is now in search of
finer
more effective parts
it seems like most people are in need as well
but where oh where
are the spares?
surely someone can help
this world is bigger than we first thought
so maybe they've got something I need
I am leaning on the greed
of my needs
not want ya hear
I need
I went to the mechanic the other day
he says we ain't go no room for the lame
the kids who live with shame
on a day to day basis
he says I belong
in an insane asylum
contained of young fools
but him bringing me down
will never turn me around

~machine

why can I not speak my mind
and why can my mouth not process
the words that flow effortlessly
in the poetry I write

and tonight.
I want to ignite a change
in my current life
find a way
to show everyone
what I might
and maybe
oh maybe
they'll want to venture
into my mind.

but oooooooh
so risky
and oooooooh
so dangerous

only the curiosity will lead
and all of their other needs
will stray behind like a shedding cat

multiple layers they'll uncover
the ones that are beautiful
have beautiful pictures and videos
well then theres the ones with devil like people
who take control of whom ever they get their grimy hands over

my mind hides all my inner knowledge
It inhabits my thoughts so they cannot be shared
why
though
why?
I have a plethora of ideas
just hidden behind an untouched
curtain
because
I don't have an answer
you'd expect me to
but I don't.

to all of this madness-

is there something I can do?

a forceful shut
and she was gone
couldn't take the *******
so she was done
people annoyed her
crossed over her line
they didn't think twice
never cared any time
why try
when all you do when you get home
is sit and cry
wondering if their lives
are sparkling like dimes
is god really fair
betchya' he doesn't even care
because why would he be so unFAIR?

I didn't forget
just haven't thought of it in awhile
as the day breathes in the storm and holds it in for a few more days, you start living to prolong the storm, to walk on the outer circle, to breathe a cold fire.

Its not the right thing to do, but the thing that makes you feel alright