slavery, abuse, oppression
call it what you want
I'm trapped, imprisoned by your lies
I cry out; no one believes me

call it what you want
torn; protect you out of obedience
I cry out; no one believes me
torn; protect myself for what I'm worth

torn; protect you out of obedience
but you never fight for me
torn; protect myself for what I'm worth
I'm bruised, but not broken

but you never fight for me
this is my anthem
I'm bruised, but not broken
slavery, abuse, oppression

to the one who broke my heart
I should have known
I gave in to you're pathetic lies
now my life has fallen apart.

I hope you're happy with your life
good luck, you're going to need it
I'm ashamed of what you've become
and embarrassed to have ever called you mine

dear self, what's happened to you?
you used to be so strong.
the wear and tear of others words
you now believe to be true.

you'll be okay, I promise.
you can do hard things
day after day it will get easier
just don't look back, regret, or miss.

to the one who gave me life
and to the one who sorta helped
thank you for everything you've done
all alone I could not handle my strife

dear crush...
I'm sorry that you don't exist.
it's a real pity
the idea of you is exciting, but I won't rush.

to the place that's suppose to teach
when will I learn how to live?
I'm unsure of my life
lifting me higher to the goals I may reach.

dear brother, dear sister
I know I am stuck with you
but for what it is worth
I love you for who you are and what you were

to me long ago
don't worry about now
we are doing alright
things do get better, I know

dear first love
when I was blinded, it was beautiful
my eyes eventually opened
you weren't there when my days were tough

I burned all your gifts
deleted all your pictures
but mountains of memories remain
and I'm falling off the cliff

there's not enough words to say
just know one thing
I loved you with my whole heart
and I felt nothing but betrayed

to the new me years from now
I hope you're still doing okay
please tell me that you've healed
maybe danced away the pain somehow

dear friend, my dearest friend
I wish you were not so far away
I love you with my entire being
no matter what may are friendship never end

you have been with me through hell
and helped me stand up again
forever have my heart and soul
you my friend, who knows me so well

to my child who is years away
you make a perfect addition
to our imperfect little family
we have not yet met but I love you anyway

dear person I hate
sorry we don't get along
unsure of who you are
but I guess now it's too late

to the one who has my heart
thank you for being in my life
I wish I could know who you are
and I wish we didn't have to be apart

dear friend who use to be
I'm sorry for everything I did
I wish it hadn't happened
but I hope you will please forgive me

to the people who don't like me
I'm sorry you feel that way
I will not change to please you
because you hate me for things I may not see

dear boyfriend of mine
so sorry you aren't real
maybe I will meet you soon
but while I wait, I'll be fine.

to everyone who has existed in my lifetime
thanks for doing your part
you've shaped my entire being
and made my life sublime

i want to be a child sometimes. i want to embrace life's experiences with an innocent smile and look upon others as though they were understood. i want to take back every sane thing i've said and just completely let go of everything that is keeping me from living my life as intense as i crave. because it's okay to not be okay. it is okay to want to change and be somebody else for a time; just promise me something:

don't let it overtake you, steal your soul, or trap your spirit.

you're beautiful, child, see the loveliness that rapidly grows. peace spreads like wildfire from your smile. joy is evident in your eyes; it demands to be seen.  pain, though felt, is NOT what defines you.  you have been remade, and i love you. i love you so very much.*


© Melissa Carlson 2015

Happiness is the tide rising and falling.

Anger, a whistling kettle, boiling over.

Sadness is a withering flower, waiting for water.

Fear, a lion, roaring until it's conquered.

Hate is the moon, inconstant and fading.

Loneliness, a single raindrop falling towards the sea.

Jealousy is a parasite, eating away at you.

Confidence, a sunrise, for everyone to see.

Guilt is an upset child, begging for attention.

Emotions are the adjectives of life.

You did not complete me, you destroyed me.

You did not help me, you watched me struggle.

You did not trust me, you doubted me.

You did not believe in me, you broke me down.

You did not hold me, you pushed me away.

You did not care for me, you put up with me.

You did not love me, you lusted after me.

heartbreaks are normal
you built a big wall
and shut me out

I am alone now
and I don't know how
to push you away

it's because I'm a girl?
I should expect this?
what was I thinking
about a long distance

so get out of my face
Before I punch yours
I don't deserve this
and I know for sure

it's not because I'm a girl

I wanted revenge
but when I did
I was put down

"did you think this through?
what did he do to you
to deserve that?"

he broke my heart
he tore it apart
what do you think

it's because I'm a girl?
I should except this?
what was I thinking?
he could be trusted?

You can't do better
And you know it's true
I've got one thing to say
I can do better than you

and it's because I'm a girl

I can stand on my own to feet
I burned all the pictures that you gave to me
I tore off the head of the stuffed monkey
and all those things you thought I would keep

because I am girl
I can fight for me
and the things that I believe

I may be a girl
Doesn't mean I am weak
when I said I love you
What did you take that to mean?

because I'm a girl
All the stereotypes
I was told I did wrong
Even when I was right

Because I'm a girl
Can't stand up for myself?
And if you think that
Find somebody else

Doesn't need us,
Wasn't lonely,
Knew the future,
Saw the way,
Past Death,
Chose to act,
From perspective
Of Perfection....

We
Need Him,
Are lonely,
Uncertain of tomorrow,
Face imminent immolation,
Are powerless,
In desperate need
Of perfection....

Needing Grace,
Needing Mercy,
Demanding Justice,
Heaping Dooms
Upon our heads...
Unaware, we see
Only our current needs,
Ignoring our helpless state,
Created beings,
Deny the Creator,
Deny the Savior
Who decided before Creation,
To take our place
When Death arrived.

Or

We acknowledge
We are created beings,
Desperately in need,
No other way past
The Curse into which
We are born,
And throw
All hopes,
All trust,
Entire,
Upon the God
Who made us.

i love you my sweet friend
and will always
until all of my days end

while you explore the world
please stay safe
and may I still be your favorite girl

i pray you find what you search for
go far and wide
express your passion, be more

live your life the way you planned
just don't forget about me
you'll have my soul safe in your hand

i will be there when you marry
may it not be me?
yet in your arms, my heart, you carry

she will love you, much more than i
but please remember me
when struggles arise, for you i'll cry

explain to her, let her be understanding
about my love for you
our relationship long lasting

when we've both grown old
may you think of me
my friend not of silver, but gold

i love you my sweet friend
and will always
until all of my days end