I was a caterpillar ,
before I became a butterfly .
The pain I had to endure in order to transform into the beauty I am today .
This is my tale .

In the forest there was,
My cocoon wrapped in the finest silk,
With a power to live in a colorful world.
To dream and conquer goals.
A Vivacious soul spinning in the purest silk
Growing and maturing as I spun.
Wishing for freedom with my beautiful wings,
Counting the days to be free and soar
as a lively butterfly
until
You winded into my community
Lured my queen and her uneven monarch.
Tempted to sabotage my purity.
For that you,
Lured yourself into my vulernable cocoon
with that trust,
you decided to disrupt my process.
How can one man ruin my nesting site?
And I had faith in you ,
to be a figure
I never had.
I wanted.
My heart ached for it.
I needed it.
To be loved .
To be nurtured.
To never be like those stray dogs
looking for a home.
This was the moment .
Where....
Innocence stripped, heart captured.
My Freedom gone.
You were naive to comprehend
On what you were doing...
You would stab my cocoon
with your sickening poison .
Over and over you stabbed .
Ruptured the veins of my innocence .
To break my finest silk .
Purity banished.
Stabbing your poison was
Making my cocoon
useless ,
worthless ,
unwanted,
colorless,
I tried to run and I tried to scream
but I was devoured by this poison
It was the love I deserve.
Couldn't escape , numb to the pain
For every poison injected, I began to
Question God?
Where was he ?
when I shed out a tear of help.
Where was he?
when my cocoon was destroyed.
Was I loved God?
when I muffled help in your name.
I hated myself ,
I stay in my cocoon
afraid to see my future.
I wasn't going to be a beautiful butterfly
Battered Butterfly
My life seemed to be colorless
No one wants a battered butterfly
My life....
It seemed it had ended
when poison sunk onto my helpless body .
No one wants a battered butterfly
Imprisoned to these chains.
Being poisoned every night by different
Predators.
Oh God....
Those predators ...
Battered lifeless little butterfly
Was I ever loved in my nesting site?
But then again nobody loves a battered butterfly
How can I reach to heaven when
I was worthless.
Believed I was a vile *****.
Tricked into a poison of hell.
Battered Ugly Butterfly
***** Little butterfly.
There was no light in tunnel
There was no holes in my silk
To escape this poisonous nest.
Why?
Because I believe nobody wants save a battered butterfly
How can the man I trusted ruined me.
I thought you could be the one to complete my lovely monarch .
To complete the missing piece.
But you continued to misuse me.
To haunt me.
To barricade my heart
To own my soul
But one thing I can truly say
You never once won over me.
You never imprinted my change.
I endured your pain
That was a sign of God
To show me what strength I am capable of.
That was the light that I found,
You had no control to inflict pain anymore.
Because I became impervious to your pain.


I am a beautiful butterfly
reigning over my monarch
with no thought of you.
**That is my freedom

You had me at hello
No, you had me at the first syllable
You had me at the inhale before you spoke
You had me always
But I never had you
My biggest regret was not choosing you
I had you in the palm of my hand
And promised I had you secured
Within the knuckles of my grasp
And you started slipping
All the girls whispered about the boy
with the dark eyes and beautiful smile
And how could they not?
What chance did I have
I can see in his eyes he's empty
Maybe that's what the drugs are for
Although he'd never admit it
I know he's so much more than he makes himself out to be
He'd be the best worst decision of my life
But in the end it's him

It's always been him

******* I can't do this
I can't love him and watch the clock
tick by the limited amount of seconds I have with him
I've tried warning him
I've tried walking away but he has always followed
Any girl would **** for a guy as stubborn and reluctant as he is
Glue doesn't begin to cover our relationship
It's like we have been stitched together
Each individual binding bringing us closer
I know this won't blow over easily
I need him
I need his quick wit and his coldness
I need to know that I am the only one who can melt him
But I know that's not the case
He's a closed book
I'm the bookmark that marks the place where he left
I just worry he will forget me
Leave me on the shelf until he needs a reminder of where he left off
He was my shoulder
But I got too close
and cut myself on the blade
Maybe we are meant to short lived
And that's why you
don't get your hopes up
It only leads to getting let down
Because what goes up
must come down

“If I could go back and do it all different" she whispered while her voice began to shake "would anything have changed or would you still have left?”

He sighed and said "Things happen. Tides change, people transform, feelings manifest." He looked her in the eyes and wiped the tear falling down her cheek and continued "Whether by the hand of God or your own. We were never meant to last. I wasn't what you needed and you're not what I need either. I want you, oh god how I want you, but the world stops for no one and we need to move onto bigger and better things."

Instead of spending nights
filled with laughter
and the taste of a strangers tongue
I'm stuck attempting to remember the taste of you
When did alcohol and drugs become better companions than people?
When I should be confident
and careless
I am insecure and belittled
Where did the years go?
When did happiness become a fantasy instead of a lifestyle?
Teenage years were supposed to be
full of stupid mistakes
But somehow
I'm the only stupid mistake