Yes im in my room,
the loudness of silent.
Beside of my guitar,
i can play it whatever i want.
No one would care as if they were.

The tears won't fall
So i let my skin cry
I can see sharps
They want me to be their friend.
I hear the voices that calling me again..
That voice who's been my friend.
It teach me how to be weak, insecure and numb.
And now his here again willing to be a friend.
Would someone replace him?
I just want someone to understand me
But it turns out they can't.
Who am i 10 years from now?
No let me replace that...
*Em i still here 10 years from now?

I remember the first time i saw you
I admit your not that so attractive
But don't get me wrong your beautiful
Your with the other clover
Trying to fit in.

Then years pass i didn't  notice that I've been watering you
And actually made me incomplete when i dint see you just for a day
You even gloom with a pretty leaves
But still until now you can't stand alone.
I pick you coz i know your special.

You've been my ***** Buddy
We created many memories.
We shared everything..
And now i want you to let your confident shine
Not everyone has a stick to carry you all along.
I'm just a wind.. i could pass from your sight.

Whenever you miss me just close your eyes
A melody will pass through your ear saying;
*"Your perfect as what my eyes see,
your not alone coz like a wind you cant see me but
i assure to you that you will feel me.
I love you my ***** Buddy"

It take too long to realize that I'm nearest to death. I thought it was just a simple allergies that i could encounter but i was wrong, any minute my heart could positively stop because of the unpleasant beat. I cant even enjoy swimming within an hour because of the cold water. Even air in the morning. I have to scratch my whole body and cant even enjoy the blist of the morning air. And the worst part is that, it was a lifetime treatment. I don't know if i could take it whenever my body is getting thick and hurt or whenever i cant breath or I'm shaking. I'm getting tiered of being self pity, its like i cant even help my self and i need others to do that. Em i that luck enough?? I was always in the hospital ever since, I'm always sick and diagnose in everything. I wish i was just normal as others. But i guess I'll just treat this as a gift from God. Well I'm just blessed after all* :)

I kinda miss you,
Are you really happy?
I miss your smell..
Are you really happy?
The way you call me with that special name, i miss everything about you.

Do you still see me as your friend?
Do you ever wish that you could still hug me?
Do you still imagine our laught?
Do you ever miss me?

Your there and im here
Could we just pretend?
Or just do so nothing?

How long ill be waiting?
Waiting that someday
Could be a something

Lets just play a game
A game that we both know
I'll be the elder and youll be the leader

Come lets play it.
I dont know what to say
Lets just wait to the so called forever
And think together like it was never

Im begining to hurt again.
I thought everything was fine..
I thought i could make my self happy
Yesterday is my natal day
It was so much ordinary
I celebrate it all by my self
Until the last minute of that day
I was all alone eating my cake and
Reapeting the "happy birthday" song
Reapeting the blowing of candle..
It was so sad that few of them remember it.
But its okay.. im getting use of it
I was fine
ohw! Im not after all..

I love being here
It feels like im in different world

You could call it as hopeless
But look around, you could see
Brightness in behaft of mildness

You are beautiful as a stars at night
Your wonderful like the full moon you see
Even i could tell your deserving to be glory

Now tell me if there's still
Demon around you
Im here to be your Guardian Angel
I'll be your shield until my last breath.

I have a story to told,
a story of how i end up hurting.
How is my birthday really come up?
Its not good i know, starting with the person involves..
And that was me...

Its start with my veins
And end up to my heart.
Someone might get lost,
Someone might get mad.

It took so much time to realize that
i was getting old..
My time fly's..
I'm getting hurt eventually..

That's not really a story
I don't know what was really the Story..
I'm getting crazy and its midnight,
Stupid me!!! I never really care for others .

Or...
They do not care for me.
i just really don't notice yet..

Today is June 20, and the Moon!
I could definitely cry with that crystaling light.
I cant capture it with my phone but in my mind i still see it.
That feeling when theres still sadness in every beautiful part of it.
The moon between the tree and the perfect shape volcano has its dazling sight
Ohw how i wish i can share it with everyone.
But i cant, i just need to discribe it
And left it with a photographic memory.

I know im a fool,
But i know what im doing.
I let you fall but i didnt catch you.
I dont wanna hurt you, so i stop the game
The real thing is... im afraid. Afraid to follow what i want.
I know how it hurts, i could feel it too...
I dont wanna make my feelings grow deeper coz i know that it would not gonna work. Cant you see?? Were not in the same world. Its imposible to love some one whos far away from you..
It's okay to hate me, i deserve it..
Im ruthless.
This is for your own good..
I do believe in destiny. If were in the right path at the right place and at the right time we will see each other soon. Lets continue the journy without hesitation.. see you :)

Its been 2 years and a month when you left
I think i've move on. I miss you but whenever i remember what you did to me i wanna hate you! But your still hunting me with your smile and thats ***** you idiot!.
Now your going back with your love one...
I will smile with gratitude, when deep in side i was crying and trying to fix what you've broke. Your the reason why i was like this! Your the reason why i dont trust any guy! Im scared! Im scared to be rejected again! I wish i didnt meet you after all.

I’m thankful that your my friend
You seems so happy when your with me
In my simple jokes, I could make you laugh
But every time I see you
having a connection with her
I get mad, so tell me now  I’m that selfish?
I don’t want you near to her
I want you to be my best friend
I want you to stay away from her
She leave you, and I’m still here.
And finally in that Christmas eve
You told me I’m your Best Friend
Tears started to fall
I’m so happy that you finally notice my worth
But in the other half of my mind
I’m not happy, because thoughts starting to enter
What if your former friend did not really leave you
Would you ever notice me?
Would you still call me your Best Friend?
I guess it really happen in a mysterious way
God choose me to be with you
God choose you be my friend
I want you to be my Best Friend
But I guess not now, not now.
You and me, its a gift
A gift of friend.

I have this three (3) kinds of tallent  
1. Is to sacrifice anything, even though someone might get hurt.
2. Is to hurt someone, for the goodness and fairness of everyone.
3. Specially to become a numb