my soul is fragile. it slips into impending doom at the mere though you may be awake thinking about another. while i am stuck here like a cancer that cannot escape remission, your name plays through my head, it feels as though my eyes have become the lens that took this precious photo of you.

some may think this photo is nothing but a #selfie, unbeknownst to them, my fragile graceful hands pushed a button, which sent a message to you. the message you heard was the snap of a shutter, the message i tried to send through it was; no matter what you are doing, you are ******* beautiful.

in all the art i create, i try to procure the observers attention, i want them to take in, breathe and feel all the beauty around them. whether it is a girl in her early twenties who doesn’t know she’s beautiful, to a boy who feels as though he cannot be beautiful. i hate that line. if you re-read that line, it just doesn’t feel appropriate even as the writer of that line, because society has conditioned us into a mold.

well, wake up because nature isn’t taught that, just go look at the unique patterns of melting icicles during the afternoon of a mid-winter storm.

my heart.
feels weighed down.
it has been carved out
the moment I feel safe.

you leave me
with the key I presumed
you would handle with care
the locksmith closed down.

luckily, I had a couple of spares
but, they are hidden away,
I thought I hid them well,
I spared them for safety.

I knew that they could not be copied,
they couldn't be recklessly handed out,
I'd done that too much,
had so much stolen from me overnight.

I don't think my life would bear another break in
I have one left and I've hidden it so well,
I don't even know where it is anymore.
Which I think in the end might be a good thing.

The person who claims that key will naturally know how to obtain it, even if I don't.
Considering they are the only one with the last copy.

12 roses, full of life
love that is true
it always will be
no pedal shall ever fall.

I want to take
these final moments
to let my eternal passion
fill your maturing ears.

I wish the universe didn't
allow us to cross paths then,
it wasn't the right time
I was ready to embrace again,
                                                                you never had.

If only She had it in her hand
of cards a few more spades
and not so many hearts to play
ours would have never broken.

You were just learning,
while I had just learned
it's unfortunate;
life is full of chance

added with a splash of unseen chance,
ultimately leading souls that were meant
to become a divine alliance
split like the cracks of a desert terrain.

I now realize that time
cannot heal every wound
but, I do know confusion over
lost love.

Sadly much of the time,
She has too much to give
to those not quite prepared
or she mistakes your space

                          for the wrong piece.


when the right heart falls in your
invisible painless tear
and you become overwhelmed
hold onto that soul.

because no one deserves the pain
that occurs when
it is ripped out
from your chest.

love and Art, 1991

h. Holveck

We met just before society began it’s well rehearsed day,

no expectations were discussed,

just pure human interaction was what we could count on,

although we continued to see each other.

somewhere between tropico nights,

and days full of communication crimes,

I began to feel something I couldn’t put a finger on it,

you shut me out as if I were just a dream.

I let it go because as they say if someone cares

they will be back. sure enough, you came back.

apparently that was enough to let my heart drop,

further, than I ever thought it could.

I truly believed in you…….my bad.

one person out of dozens I’ve met since the first

I wish I would have questioned us, questioned, you.

but love doesn’t allow itself to be hindered.

I wish I wouldn’t have allowed myself

to invest any further consideration of possibilities

the pride you hold is so absorbed

the protection tactic you use isn’t fair

especially when someone’s heart is now in your hands,

a heart is not something to be taken for granted.

it should be something held like a mother holds

her premature baby that she is unsure if it will live.

I handed over my clearly recently mended heart,

put back together with a couple pieces missing.

this wasn’t unbeknownst to you,

the lack of humility you carry you place on top of a fragile human life.

someone’s core, especially one that has already been mishandled

by those before you should never be juggled like a grenade with the loose pin,

ready to completely explode and break into just a fine dust.

the clarity through action has made it clear I can’t leave the one part that keeps me breathing to such careless hands.

I just would love if you would let down your half-witted sense of protection.

Like myself, you will learn that it only works so long.

Those who do end alone, because all the companionship graciously given won’t be there. Due to your tall walls surrounding your screaming heart.

I have a plenty of love overflowing inside me, that you knocked out of my hands when presented to you. Scoffed at experiences that mortified to me to points most can’t even fathom. And disrespected someone that respected, and ultimately chose you.

Please be kind to the next, I know that this act won’t last for long if you continue to prey on those weaker than thyself. Granted, we know you attack those stronger, so feelings inside of inadequacy don’t surface.

but, just know if I disappear one day, I genuinely loved you and never want you to forget that, because I know I won’t.

Love & Art, 1991,

Henk Holveck

i went to sleep with him in my bed
to meet the one who wore the flower crown
slightly opening my eyes
my greatest fear you disappeared into the dark paradise.

i didn't know what to do
so i began to pinch myself
you were too good to be true
whenever i saw your face i felt alive.

i wandered into the dark paradise,
in hopes of finding you.
when you decide to leave that place,
promise me you won't forget me this time.

If the time machine wasn't just wishful thinking.
I would go back to our sweet beginnings,
Spending days where it felt so natural.
Days with no animosity, no anger, jealousy or regret.


No despair, like I feel through my entire being.
I hate having to know that you're cutting me with your oblivious facade, goes left unspoken.
I'm left grieving over something that would provide us both happiness that could very well be imperishable.


Like most who have been on earth as long as ourselves, they don't know patience.
As well as don't realize or acknowledge the benefits our
elders recognized and still treat as a virtue.


It devastates my internal spirit that my nearly all the appreciated times we share are when humans vulnerable.
We lie there together, both in our own bliss.
I gracefully touch my lips to your cheek.
When you utter a non-seductive sound, I hear the sincerity in your vocal cords as they flow into my ear and drift straight to my heart.
It is only then I begin to remember why I invest in this bank with no reciprocation.


I don't demand anything from your pockets, wardrobe or any material possession. I just desire the return of love and companionship. Your presence makes my heart feel whole again, and I shower you with love.
The affection I try to give to you is forced away with your inappropriate giggles or illusionist approach.
I didn't know becoming sincere with someone who has so much significance in my life would be worse than marrying a inattentive enchanter.


I've undergone heartbreak without closure. I perceived I was safe enough to open my welded vault of three years. All caused by 14 months of disregarded tender intellect that left this heart in fragments that would never be able to become what it once was. If ever a heart is shattered into pieces, it's impossible to bond the sentimental epicenter entirely back together.
Like a mirror that an infuriated queen breaks when it reveals to her, her true disposition.


I wish my mirror wouldn't be destroyed again, because each time someone's heart is treated like a football, some pieces are always left behind.
I don't need a breadcrumb trail of glass to my grave.
However, this is life, and we don't always get what is desired.
Those who came before will find themselves desiring what they gave away, and it will lead them only to my tomb that they all played a part in building.

The way you make me feel is incredible. Nothing like the first, nothing like the second, I may have loved them but, not like I love you. I have never met anyone that makes me feel the way you do. My head filled with a no vacancy sign, but the electricity was out; somehow you fixed it. That "no" shines brighter than it ever has before.

When you said, "When you put your hands on me." The thought I caused you even just for a moment, to be afraid of me, just breaks my heart. For you filled my life with nothing, but natural smiles and joy rides. I wish I would have appreciated and it all more.

I'm the last man on this earth who should take anyone willing to enter my dark, closed off & broken structure. Anyone willing to enter my life of chaos and mystery is more daring than any human before. If you persist, you'll come to the place that shatters the pain those with reckless hearts left me. You'll open a pure, passionate soul. To get to the damaged site, you will have to fight through the maze. Those who hid my affection left no map. I think you were almost there. You had me but like most something in my destroyed halls of lost love. My guards spooked you off. You ran far away and left me empty again. Lonely again. I had begun to draft our story. I'm hoping you'll decide whatever barricade halted your journey, brings you back. My hand hurts from writing first drafts. I desire our story to be everlasting. So long the Bible envies it.

If you can make it to the place where love is locked, you have found the key. The key to my heart. Promise me to leave that no on my vacancy sign forever lit.