you walk down the hallway
its either you're invisible
or people see you for the wrong reasons

you arrive early to school
just to avoid the crowd
just so you could hide

you sit in the library
during lunchtime
so they cannot find you

when will you
stand up for yourself
learn how to shove their opinions
back into their mouth
don't care what they think
point your ******* at them
and say "*******"
its your time to stand up
for *yourself

the thin wall
of pretence
is the barrier
between us

for what we lie
for what we pretend
when all we wanted
was to be happy

but alas we never learn
as we once again lie
not to anyone else
but to ourselves

a crack in her voice
a tremble in her words
a shiver from her body
a tremor from her words
her anger gave her palpitations
her anger brought tears to her eyes
she clenched her jaw
and ****** her fingers

the wall next to her
no longer seems like a wall
it was a punching bag
the blood trickles down her fist
but she doesn't feel the pain
not more than the anger
red hot burning anger

my mama told me
death is a dark dark place
where innocent minds
should not wander

my papa told me
death is a bad thing
and deaths means
the end

my priest told me
death is something uncontrollable
which only God knows
when and where

but
my demons told me
death is beautiful
and every end is a new beginning

they told me
death is not just a place
death is a person
death is me

*i am death

the wound of heartbreak
leaves her bleeding
figuratively speaking
yet the pain never lessens

day by day
she pushes herself
to get over him
and what they used to be

as time passes
she slowly mended her wounds
with band-aids
but not medication

he approached her
after some time
she fell for the same tricks
again for him

he rips off her band-aids
unknowingly in a savage manner
causing her
to bleed to death

she stares at the bottle of pills
sitting calmly on the table
as she picks up a paintbrush
and begin her painting

her choice of colour was red
always shocking red
her canvas was smooth
smooth as a baby's skin they say

but no one will ever know
the days she spent locked up
in her room painting
her life away

that her canvas was her skin
the paintbrush was the blade
the choice of colour was her blood
and she couldn't stop

she closes her eyes
as the nightmares flash
she screams
and wake up in cold sweat

her heartbeat accelerates
as she glances furtively
around her dark room
frightened and terrified

as she lies back on her bed
she keeps her eyes open
in fear of the dark
the unknown lurking there

yet another night of hers
where her sleep was disrupted
just like any other nights
its a wonder how she hasn't gotten used to it

she prayed and wished
to escape this state of insomnia
even if it was comatose
she wouldn't mind

i deserve nothing of your calibre
i am a monster
who is worthless
and undeserving of your love

she makes you happy
she is beautiful beyond words
she is kind
everything i am not

you are amazing
inexplicable beauty
everything i am not
yet i'm irrevocably in love with you

so don't mind lil ole me
i'll just stand here
and mend my breaking heart
whilst faking happiness for you

"a beautiful tragedy"
they named her

she trudged into class
an hour late as usual
having dealt with her ******* father
and narcissistic mother

the bandages around her wrist
was tighter than usual
the sleeves of her shirt
was longer than usual

her smile was empty
just like she was
devoid of emotions
just empty

she wasn't always like this
she used to be bubbly
and she danced
all the time

she used to be happy

"a beautiful tragedy"
they named her.

is she you?

he smiles
her heart flutters
like birds soaring

"i cannot fall for him
he will break me
and every wall i've build
will be wasted" she says

as she grabs him by the neck
and pulls him in for a kiss
with a lingering thought
of how a kiss wouldn't hurt

but when will she learn
after times and times
of getting her heart
broken trampled and torn apart

and as her best friend
i can only stand
and watch
as she ruins herself
falling for him
again and again