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Anthony Mayfield Apr 2019
If you take my sorry
I'll take the fall
I'll make the call
And choke on my blood

If you take my pleading
It'***** the wall
I'll lock the stall
And choke on my love

Please, ignore my stalling
I was so wrong
I was so wrong
Forget my memory

Forgive me
Never
I hurt your soul
And you'll never know

Sorry
Sorry is not enough
I was torn by lust
But now I must
Apologize
It wasn't me
Not by will
Please don't choke on me
don't choke on me
Anthony Mayfield Apr 2019
Crushed
The only way I feel
Not one of love
Nor born of lust

Crushed
A shelter of my soul
A sliver of my pain
Splinter my reign
All hail the fool
The ***** little fool

Crushed
Crushed
Crushed

So crushed

So many pieces

I can't be resolved

Crushed
Destroyer
Breaker of the union
Despoiler of the sacred vow
You filthy animal
You ***** cow

Crushed
I'm divided
Crushed
I'm decided
Crushed
By lust
But not mine
Your shadow will forever shroud my soul

I put walls up
But down they go
Beat down by the flood
Born of heated hate
A stampede of regret
A new reprobate

So say "hi"

Say hi to your crimes
To to speak through your cries
Nobody hears at night
Because then you must lie
I'm fine
But why
why
why
why
why
Why did you crush my soul
Beyond the spirit
Beyond my bone
Crushed
Anthony Mayfield Apr 2019
I did this
I let the monster in
I let the demons win
I am pain
Void of gain
Leave me
Hate me
Loathe me
****** me

light

If I deserve life
Then Monster wouldn't have touched me
Monster would have let me be

light it

But instead
I am dead
Monster is merciful master of misery
How lucky

light it up

LIGHT!
IT!
UP!

LIGHT IT UP!
LIGHT IT UP!
LIGHT IT UP!

FLASH

what?
what's that?

A ship in the night?
Did it hear my wet cry?
It sails back
Back to the sunrise
Back to me
Don't ****** my pain
Don't ****** my misery
Let it be
Let it be
Let them be
Let them see

I need
A break
To just be

I didn't do this
All monsters come in
And sometimes
They will win
But only the battles
Never the wars
YOU own this ship
This voyage is YOURS

If I'm to survive
I'll stay in MY ship
I won't drown again
On this night, I live
light it up
Anthony Mayfield Mar 2019
Help

I'm falling

In falling water

The lie is cold

And drives my soul

Sick irony takes a stroll

Down the black

I'm alone

In this winsome hole

That leads to the fall

To depths of icy gall

Monsters are at the bottom

They'll eat me

They'll maul

Help

I'm writhing

In the ice of the sun

But to me

It's a glacier

The falling water ends here

Oh no

I'll freeze

This is where I die

No


Longer



Me




Goodbye
I love you
It's a long hard fall to rock bottom
Anthony Mayfield Mar 2019
How dare you
Pillager
Plunderer
Robber
Vandal
Thief
Lover
Mine
How dare you reduce me to rage
White hot and safe
Safe for my plate
From which I consume mounds of animosity
For the atrocity
For on that afternoon
I died
And I'm still not alive
Because of you
Because you were mine
You were my lover
My thief
My vandal
You robbed my heart
But then plundered my dignity
And pillaged my sou
How
Dare
You
It's a painful to shame to have to hold this close
Anthony Mayfield Mar 2019
A man is a man
Is a man
He stands tall
With strong shoes
And blue jeans
And red wings
He does not strut
But
He owns the block
With his talk and walk

A man is a man
He understands
To be gruff is to be loved
To be aloof is to be good
Muscles to waste away
And away
And away
And

A man
Broke the rule
A man
Choked me through
Pulled me too close
Transparent as ghosts
An unyielding lust

To the horrors of man
Stare into fear
Such horrid leer

But please
Don't
Hurt
Me
So
I
Let
This
Man
Take and steal and scare and sing
Or better yet his radio sang

Such a long quiet sorrowful manly drive
For those who wish to thrive

Be a man?
No
Take a stand

For a man is a man is a man is
A
Man

Man
You broke my life
Left me as bile
But I'm still alive
With vision for miles
I see it clearly now
I see that a man is a man is a man
I understand
You're sad
I’ve been questioning what it is to be manly vs what it is to be human vs what it is to even be alive. A man isn't measured by the power of his centerpiece, if you will. A man is measured by his ability to respect boundaries and not force himself, be it emotionally or physically, upon others. That right there is a man. Manhood is respect.
  Mar 2019 Anthony Mayfield
Débijonne
Almost asleep when my phone ticked;
'A notification,' it says.
Your name was there, you liked my photo.
And my stomach drowned in butterflies—
Scratch that—moths, surely they're moths.
Stronger, buzzier, like your power
To occupy and stay in my brain
With that single heart emoji beside your name.
Thinking that the double tap
Is as if you love me just the same.
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