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Oct 2018 · 257
hue (about you)
fatima Oct 2018
you are my red blood
that flows through my veins
the one that keeps my heart alive
and the one that keeps through it

you are my orange warning
in every precaution, you are there
telling me that i should be careful
and being mad when i don't

you are my yellow ray of sunshine
as you smile, you turn everything brighter
my cold place becomes warm
you fill up every sadness and gaps i have

you are my green leaves
they seem alive when they are watered
and you are the water
the one that makes them alive

you are my blue sky
a sky so bright seems so happy
full of fluffy clouds up in the sky
that hides darkness in the sky

you are my indigo ocean
a serene in every splash of wind
the waves that keeps me in
flowing right into me

you are my purple pleione
the mutsoraboshi of mine
as you always have me,
i have you

and you, the one who clumsily painted my heart
and painted every vibrant colors that existed
it has been in me and it will always be
and your colors that are in me will always be my favorite.
i love you, i always do.
Aug 2018 · 250
toi et moi
fatima Aug 2018
you, the one that settled my eyes
the one with the hazy eyes and calm hair
the one with the voice of crashing waves and serenity of night sky

you, the one who has a childlike questions and amiable curiosity
the one who wanders through things
the one who wants for greater pain in knowing

you, the one who makes someone feel the spring
the one who becomes the color to every monotone
the one who becomes the answer in every 'why'

you, the one who makes that someone explore the universe
while looking upon your eyes
twinkling like the stars of someone's night
the one who become the sliver of happiness inside

and to every you in that someone
let it open up for who is that someone
that someone may seem estrange
but its me, that someone.

i felt the warmth of your eyes
with every intensity that seems so radiating
that joins up with your crackling smile
a rare and wonderful sight to my eyes

i want to know things
for they are amazing in me
and i want to know more
because of your infinite questions

i felt the happiness in my saddest days
and your warmth fills up someone like me
who doesn't deserve any of it
and someone who must deserve to die in coldness

and, i want to live again
as i see things more clearly
and i become that happy child again
you become the reason why.
for you and only you, alone.
fatima Jul 2018
My nights are cold and sad as I sip a black pitched coffee that I am holding in my hands. The slumber of sadness still grows in my heart while I let myself succumb in a little blanket with dusty furs beneath. The sadness becomes a growing pain until it become a ghostly pain that lives inside every night with a growl of wildness that seems so silent yet so deadly. All of the stars, no, the universe saw the pain that seems like a winter sadness that just grow everyday as I try to live my life looking for the brightness of a star and a comfort of a tree that seems worn out at times.

         But my nights that are full of sorrows seems alive yet there’s a growing tree that I saw every night as I look upon the twinkling stars. The tree seems alive but I ponder every night in my cracked window ‘Does the tree grows in night full of sadness?’. That place seems questionable to me because when I looked upon my window it can’t be seen easily yet it fills me up at some point. Every night as I look through my window I realized that the tree was just there at the beginning or maybe even before my own beginning. Maybe I failed to notice the wonder of it every night so I tried to peek on it. As I peek on it, I become scared thinking that there will be wildness that I can’t take so I decided to just don’t look at it again.

         Looking back, I brushed it off. The tree was just there as I grow with my endless sadness. My sadness becomes numb and my black pitched coffee becomes monotonous. As the night fades, I can feel the numbness in my body and the coldness of my heart. The shining sun seems a striking light to me that I can’t take that makes me feel burned and at some point, I also thought that it would turn me into ashes. Strangely as I grow up and I tend to be number, I remembered the tree that I looked upon in the midst of my growing sadness. I strangely go the tree that makes me feel scared before. The tree made me feel at home, a strange feeling that someone like me can’t feel in spite of all fake happiness that I display in the warm sunshine up until to the lavenders and pinks of sunset.

        Every night, I always went to that spot, that tree that made me feel scared before. Even in the sunshine I always look upon the tree and it makes me feel at ease. Despite the scorching heat of sun, I always felt the freshness of spring and the bloom of flowers with a beautiful melody of birds. Even in the sadness of nights, I can feel the beauty and mystery of the moon with the stars that looks painted in the night sky. Everything seems beautiful, I guess. Also, my heart grows there with my numbness fading away.

         Looking back at everything that I felt, those judgements are fallacy of my scared heart that is afraid to grow in the light. A child that thinks everything can be handled on its own but it seems like that child is fragile human being after all. Also, despite the happiness that I felt in that place I also want to make that place more beautiful. Maybe the word beautiful is a given statement in that place but still, I want to make that place feel the comfort that it gives to me.

       Right now, that spot seems mesmerizing in my eyes and I hope in the following days, months, and years that spot will always felt like home. A home that I can lean on in the bad days and I can be happy with in my happiest days.
you felt like home, please be happy. i cherish you.

not a poem but a short story for someone who is dearly to me
Jul 2018 · 183
tell me
fatima Jul 2018
tell me
as i know nothing
clueless as it is
everything is just unknown

as i want to know things
to understand, not to be mad
i want to be open
in everything i want to know

so tell me
as i am clueless
like a child full of woes
am curious enough?
just tell me if i'm bothering you.
May 2018 · 220
better days
fatima May 2018
in dawn, we are exhausted
trying to go to our uncertainty
the longing in our dark eyes
the thirst in our dried lips

mending the inconsistencies
being stuck in a waiting line
comforting the tired body
with a reply of rejection

at night, the moon is shining
going home with city lights
guiding the darkness with sadness
feeling the emptiness of silence

crippling upon a blanket
closing our tired eyes
leaving our breathe in the air
'soon, it'll be gone' as they say
thank you.
Apr 2018 · 536
nasa pagitan
fatima Apr 2018
magkaibang panig ng iisang daan
nagsalubong sa iisang punto
ang punto ng alanganin nating dalawa
lilisan pa ba o mananatili na lamang

sa bawat saglit ng sandali
pinili ang dalawang bagay
para sa iisang katauhan
tila ba ang sakit at saya ay iniinda

walang katapusang posibilidad
'oo' at 'hindi' ang dapat na makatapat
ngunit bakit napupunta sa iba't ibang panig
hindi na alam ang nararapat piliin

sa huli, tayo ang may pananagutan
sakit, tuwa, poot at galit
aanhin at dadamhin ng ating kaluluwa
pagod na pagod sa pag-ikot ng mundo
Apr 2018 · 234
ghost pain
fatima Apr 2018
the whisper of cold air
goosebumps are flare
the uncanny balance
it's not a hindrance

everything intensifies
and suddenly it ties
turning into one phase
everything becomes haze.
04:40 emotions
Mar 2018 · 243
parallel night
fatima Mar 2018
cold hands and long limbs
pink and blue dresses
his and her times
longing feets everything

'why are your hands so cold?'
maybe my hand means us
our times that have been frozen
trying to resurrect from death

the moment didn't last
as we are going to reality
ending the tempo
and parting ways.
thank you. i loved you. goodbye (for the nth time)
Jan 2018 · 605
?
fatima Jan 2018
?
a dark way
and unknown destination
where should i go?
am i doing it right?

scared of being wrong
and hearing hallucinations
am i losing myself
or am i going to fail?
Jan 2018 · 268
absence of nothing
fatima Jan 2018
the lights are dim
the happiness is the sorrow
the stars are the sun
and the absence is longing

for i don't know what's inside
there's a ******* in emptiness
and the emptiness is absence
lights are just illusion

the feelings are tangled
like a myth of red string
and i don't know where should i go
finding you in the compact of photons
last month and i'm free
Jan 2018 · 176
understanding the paradox
fatima Jan 2018
like a blooming flower in the spring
and i am in the urge of winter
the coldness uproars fiercely
the tigre must've been so strong

the unknown feeling
should i let it go
or does it need to stay
future is always untold
to my longing days, go away.
Jan 2018 · 573
subtle separation
fatima Jan 2018
a distance of light year
and a havoc of universe
our worlds are asymptotes
with a bit of formula

but how could we become parallel
maybe it's just myself
or things are meant to be that way
the reason is unfathomable

if it's me
**** me with your words
for i am worthless of your love
and your euphoric existence

if it makes you happy
leave me with a smile
'lets meet at the universe' tell me
and i'll wait for you to come
in worthless im sorry

to that friend
Jan 2018 · 1.0k
wag mo kong kalimutan
fatima Jan 2018
'wag mo kong kalimutan'
mga katagang sinambit mo
habang pinipilit **** tanggalin ang iyong kamay sa aking kamay

'wag mo kong kalimutan'
mga katagang sinambit
noong panahon na ang mundo natin
ay nagtatagpo sa isang segundo lamang

'wag mo kong kalimutan'
mga katagang nagpaikot sa atin
na ating pinaniwalaan at pinagtibay
ngunit ang tadhana'y mapaglaro

ngayon ang katagang ito
ay winasak tayo
pinaiyak at dinurog
sa isang segundo lamng

ngayon ang katagang ito
ay isang uri na lamang
sa katagang nilimot ng ating panahon
at kinakalimutan  natin ngayon
Jan 2018 · 206
hue
fatima Jan 2018
hue
you are a red apple
sweet and delicate
that catches my eye

but you are really orange
zesty and sour
the flick of your words
seems so unacceptable

you are my yellow sunshine
like a sunrise in the morning
your smile is a galaxy

but you seem so green and blue
sad and weary about everything
and i can't help it

i'm your indigo
i am here but you didn't notice
i exist but it doesn't matter

and suddenly you are really purple
a mix of red and blue
that's what i always like.
to my sad soul

— The End —