You say you pick me
but what do you mean?
Am I really the one who
makes your heart scream?
I sure as hell want to be
but I'm not sure if you
**u n d e r s t a n d .

I don't want to sleep without you anymore
too many times I've looked to my phone
in the middle of the night, longing for your
presence; I want to inhale your essence
let me hold you in my arms and explain
how often I picture us touching.
Lets close in the distance and
become one human; individual
no more waiting for us.
If you let me try again
I swear I won't mess up..
Just let me look over and
see the timer on my skype
slowly going up, telling me
that our call is still intact
I don't want to leave your
heart cracked..
Please tell me that you're
still there....

My nephew notices nearly everything around
he says saaad cooorn! because the corn outside
has now turned brown.

He knows a few colors that consist of yellow, red,
purple and green.. he likes to read and sometimes he'll sing.

My little nephew is getting too big..
He's at the age just before monsters
are under his bed,
I don't want him to experience that yet.

But someday he just might, and that's okay
we all grow up eventually.

My thoughts are scattered all over the place
Sad corn, bad dreams, no diploma, brown leaves..
I want to be  h a p p y  for you but I can't be today
there's just a kind of stuffiness inside of my brain
but don't cry for too long, please don't worry I'll
get back to normal, soon things won't be so blurry.

I'm going to clone myself like a Jellyfish
and stray far away from this hideous place
where the grass isn't green and trees are inexistent
I used to love it here but now I can't help but hate it
so I'll go deep into the ocean and see the only beings
that make my heart flutter as if I were really living..
I'll be with the Jellyfish forever, after all nerve nets
are better than brains, they cause too much stress for me.
I'd rather be heartless, boneless, maybe transparent too
I'm already invisible and if someone were to mess with
me all I'd do is give them a sting.. no more crying, denying
my depression or worrying about people that don't worry
about me. I'd be a part of the ocean, and the ocean would
contain me. I'd basically be a type of melon with tentacles
considering they're between 95% and 98% water anyways
I could be immortal or live up to a few hours..
so let me drown already.

Isn't it sad
when the only person
you want to be near is
half way across the country
and they're tired of waiting
so they decide to come see
you because they'll be a tad
bit closer to you but you have
to go away on that particular day..
so now it's all over no more
I love you, goodnights..
"but I hope you're sleeping tight.."
no.. it's some kind of not-so-harsh
goodbye.. it's not beautiful either
it's a heart breaking kind of pain that
stays in a range of months to days.
So don't tell me you hope that I'm okay..
because I'm not going to be
not without you.

I'm here for all of you people that are feeling just as tired and exhausted from the saddening madness that I am always getting slapped in the face with. **I am here for you.

Picture an anti-social pessimist
who fears her own existence
should probably get a therapist
but that's just not in her element.
always has a Nemesis
She wants to be affectionate
but she feels unwanted;
desolate.

I can't take this anymore
stress is consuming me
I'm now on the floor
crying uncontrollably
because of all of you.
I no longer have room
for anyone who isn't
willing to try
Willing to try to stay
by my side
if you don't want me
in your life
then get the **** out of mine
Because I'm done.

Is it so bad.. that I just want to hold your hand? I want to pull you in and try to help you understand this isn't a ******* game, okay? You're either in or out there's no way around this yes or no question and if I keep thinking this way I might just go insane. I want you all to myself.. I've never felt this way please just tell me you're going to stay.. Until this pain subsides I'm going away to hide dreams may not be the best place to disappear to but it's the only place where I can see you. I'm sorry for being so paranoid. I guess this is what happens, when people find something they don't want to lose.