Stop with those eyes.
Why can’t I memorize?
More green now than blue
Funny how you
Don’t look like you

Meeting eyes was easy
Like pouring sugar from a jar
Fidgeting with my ring
My heart never beat that hard
I was deep breaths and trembling hands

You remembered what I told you
Such a time ago
Stop making me laugh
You make it hard to let you go
But you’re human too

You have acne too
You fidget like me too
I built you to be a god
My hands loyal to your shrine
But you’re only humankind

But aren’t you beautiful
In your flawed ways
My heart all but sprung
From its cage
And lept into your hands.

I wrote an ocean onto that paper
Ink stirred with salt
It was spilling out of me

I was overflowing with thoughts
I wrote an ocean onto that paper
Of anything and everything

That clouded my eyes
Till nothing harmful was present
I wrote an ocean onto that paper

I used to hate yellow,
Then my soul turned to lemon juice
And now my lips are painted
As a new sunrise
Which changed the words I spoke.
With sour lemons slices
That attracted Bumblebees
And everything
To my lemon soul.

A deep, heavy sigh, erupted
From my choked throat,
My forehead lay on an opened book.
I wish to be lost inside it.
My fingernails dig into the open crease,
Trying to crawl inside.
To be released.
Into a world where my heart has belonged all along,
Into a world where I can do what I'm meant to.
I devour the pages.
Hoping it would consume me
While I consume it.
Release me.
Release me from this world so existent,
Physical and realistic.
I smear the ink along my pupils
Hoping to see a new reality.
I sew the pages to my back.
Hoping to forever lean against them,
When I need to be taken away.

You never came and talked to me.
Never explained your betrayal.
Never said you were sorry.

I’m slashed deep
And it’s not healing.
It’s festering.

I can forget,
And so can everyone,
But can I forgive?

I’m not strong enough to forgive.
Every time I remember
It’s hurts more than last time.

Oh God, it hurts so bad.
Now I’ll never know you,
Because I’ll always doubt you.

Can’t you just say your sorry?
For ripping out a part of me.
Can you just pretend you love me?

Just for a few minutes,
Just pretend, please,
Just say you’re sorry.

Do you even recognize me
my pale skin
and innocent lips

I have come from so far
still to be me
skin and lips

My eyes still hazel and gold
now different
forced to change

Yet the same