Dripping, sinking, far from harbor
A desperate ocean, tugging
“What are you looking for?”
The sea rose and tumbled

My feet drowned in ocean water
And wet sand. The tide pulling.
My ankles- my knees
Quickly found comfort in the sea

“Company?” The salty wet
Devoured my waist then my chest
Gentle ripples reached my lips
I realized it was not the ocean pulling me in

It was my feet. Willing, walking.
To be engulfed by sanctuary
Blue-green, restless, refuge
“Just for a little while.”

My hair began to wreath. Dancing in the spell.
I was enraptured- captured
A deathly calm disguised as a haven.
What has this escape- lead me to?

My lungs choked
My fingers clawed
To find warm sand
Pull me back to shore

I’ve been lost at sea
For too long

Blink blink
Eyelashes flutter
Running water
Let me shrink

Alone, peaceful, quiet
Soaking
Bubbles popping
Calm, my body met

Paper pages
Soul sleeping
Faucet weeping
Erasing edges

I want an ocean
Full of life
Full of roaring waves
A blue, that only an ocean possesses

I want a cool breeze
Fresh and salty
Perfect for the sunny days
That roam the beach

I want seagulls
And seashells
Covering the bay
Decorations in their own way

I want sand
Sand that’s cold and wet
Dense from the waves
Crashing against it

I want those days back
Of nothing to do
But breathe in beauty
And stare at blue

Sticky
Always grabbing
For compliments
For approval

“You’re so pretty.”

Like jam hands
Young and desperate
Sweet and clingy
Searching

“They can’t resist a beautiful girl like you.”

Is that all I am?
“Beautiful”  “Pretty”
That’s all they tell me
Am I nothing else?

“I wish I looked like you.”

Is there no head on my shoulders?
No spine in my back?
Is “pretty” all I have?
Am I nothing but a picture to look at?

“You’re the pretty friend.”

Gooey jam hands grabbing
For any kind words
Of how my looks dazzle
Because

That’s all I’ve ever heard.
Now I’m a "pretty” shell
With nothing worth noticing
Inside.