I can't get over you*
      But I hate you.
  You hardly come around.
I used to date you when your time frame was more abrupt
    You'd show up with a kiss and a hug
  Give me the gift of love
With no glove on, just pure touch
      Pushing your button and gripping you tight
   We used to get by
You'd always take me back
  For the very last time
Stuck between whether it's wrong or its right
     Being this naked
We'd always fight and when it was amazing, even they loved it.
       From cover to cover, our bed was made up and it read like this:
      "Here lies Poetry and her Poet, God rest their souls on crumpled paper"*
      If we make it
And our love is a mainstream instrumental, will you come back and talk to me or will you choke me on your lies,
All your promises meeting their demise in a pair of telling deceitful eyes that I couldn't draw
    The paper might rip in these hands made of straw
      But the years will drag on with me gripping two halves beyond repair trying to grasp the reality of your infidelity

The smell of the lake
The green of the grass
The white of the sand
The blue of the sky

I miss the water splashing in my face
I miss the grass tickling my toes
I miss the warm sand cradling my back
I miss the sun shining bright in my eyes

You were there before I ever wrote
Long before I ever smoked
You knew me before they did
All of em
You saw me change
As a stranger
Far away from all my mishaps and danger
You saw the side effects of pills too hard to swallow
You knew me before I had ever had my heart broken
Before I had my thoughts stolen by harsh words spoken

Before the scars


I remember breaking a window.
All I did was knock.
You were inside with the lock engaged
A boxed in cage
I could not just stay out of

Not too long after that night the seven or more blocked the door and I applied more than an appropriate amount of lotion that his corneas adorned
Immature?
Maybe but it may be I was scared

Scared enough to knock so hard
I obtained my first scar in the front yard of a Heritage Pointe apartment


You knew me when your world got tossed into a cold wind
My sole friend in an inconsolable state
The thirteenth the date, at least I think, my birthday was late
The drive home was too long in the stone cold silence in the wake of unfathomable violence
I loved you enough to feel empathy for the first time
My sister just not in blood usually just said she was fine like some corny degrassi line with true emotions deep in holding in the circus of your mind
But here you were crying
A sign of a signing away of youth
I watched as you grew

Our lives are a sitcom and we've lost the remote
And pretty much all hope of ever calling it quits
We're as stuck as it gets
Family runs thick

We knew each other before we became moms and dads
Back when we we're all we had
You were Daddy Yankee, I was  more Kanye West
But we always went well together, Sister you're the best

Knees buckling
   He'd give up anything to feel her touch's healing strength
      But foreboding dreams kept showing things
          Movie scenes that seem to tear the seams of time itself and lay the twine atop of a shelf too high for him to reach
      He'd die in this moment if he thought it would help
    Some memories haunt so deep eternal sleep offers no escape
         Karma waits with ten million watt light bulbs to illuminate your every flaw
     Every argument caused builds a tallied wall there's no way out and they'll never fall
      Stuck in a room of doubt and sappy songs you can't sing along too because every tune brings her face back to you in vibrant hues

Death wouldn't help

This is Death

      Watching the light gradually die from your eyes
   Fabricated surprise on my behalf had you think that the sky was the limit
     You can't fly but a minute before you crash
     And when I'm not in the cockpit with you I'll laugh
     Like all our little silly jokes that no one used to get
     Your screams for help Will fall on deaf ears, **don't you forget

Think about it...
Will you be haunted
By your **choices?

My voice I cannot deny
I'm blinded by the times

My thoughts I cannot ignore
I miss everything from before

Everytime life throws a curveball
I cannot help but fall

When I'm down on my knees
I start to crawl

My heart I cannot feel
I have nothing that's real

I just closed my eyes for five minutes
Now I'm dealing with moving on and vindictive *******
       This isn't it is it?
Cause I still know ******* who love me from two years ago
Back when they would try to steal my spot and I'd let it go
Any inhibition
In the kitchen cooking beef in the skillet saying **** it lets **** ****
Back when I ran the town
They still played around
While I kept **** down to a whisper
Still smoking loud
But moving in silence
Not dealing with violence but keeping blades beside me just in case they try me
Must not think highly of themselves taking a dive anywhere at all
Improvised grave sites excite me
I love watching the fall
I love watching her leave
Til she walked out of my life and said she felt relieved
Left me alcoholic beverages and bottles of Aleve
And curly hair all over me still searching for a reprieve