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I didn't know
I was your puppet
On a string:

You tossed me
Turned me
Made me swoon
To your every word.

I didn't know
I was your puppet
Until you cut
The strings,
And I fell face-down
Into what I thought
Was love.
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
William
Tell me, Did you ponder ?
Dry drunk you were pushed
Tell me 3 months.

I'll tell you, You're waiting
Waiting for a reason
To break the promise

Not to yourself
But to the hands that pushed

Chips, Tokens mean nothing
Not to those left in your wake,
Picking up the pieces
Not of you

Instead the peices of the soul we lost
Trying to save you.
A dry drunk is a alcoholic who has failed to commit to achieving sobriety.
Where have you been?
Who were you there with?
What is his name?
Why do I even ******* ask?
When are you going to leave?
Bodies take withdraws
like beating MAC machines.

I would go and give blood
if they just ******* paid me.

Or maybe if dying patients
actually got it for free.
I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.
If God created everyone in his own image, why do I look like this?
I want to jump out of my skin every time I look in the mirror.
If God created everyone equally, why am I judged for the person I choose to love?
They stare when I hold her hand.
If God created everyone with a purpose, why do I have no motivation to do anything at all?
I sit and stare at the wall.
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
Athena
Hidden away,
frozen in despair,
I await for the sunlight
of caring eyes.
Tired of living a life of lies,
shrieking at the endless cries,
The cravings control my mind,
Taunting my life,
my happiness.
Don't let me fade,
Please come to my aid,
don't let me turn into a statistic
of this disastrous blade.
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
ln
Do you
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
ln
do you still stay up all night
do you still wonder of all the things that we could have been
do you still wish there was room to fix what went wrong

do you stay up counting dandelions
do you still find it hard to fall asleep when the rain hits the roof
do you still think of all the things that went wrong

do you still think of all the things that could have gone right
do you still write

because everytime i do

*i think of you
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
Nope
Untitled
 Aug 2014 Teenage Mess
Nope
All I wanna do is forget.
Every ******* word you said to me, every person who doesn't give a **** about me, every time you laid your hands on me, everything.
I feel the ***** burning as if runs down my throat.
But it's working.
Why be stuck feeling sad when I can  choose to not feel anything at all?
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