Darling can't you see?
I'm the one
Who can cause the pain
To be numb.
I'm the one
Who can devour your soul
And take you captive in my kiss.
Even if it's a just a second
Darling I can be your drug.
Let me take you somewhere.

There was a girl
I used to swap paperbacks
and spit with, once
I fixed her wiper blades,
I remember the soft dead wings
on the windshield,  pretty
as you please

She was alone in her shoes
listening to something
that kept getting darker
and glowing like morning
on the oil spilled under her truck,
she was drifting through
the rosewater of her soft red hair

She only wanted to be rolling
off a swollen river, sliding
out of a clean slip, turning
over in a deep sleep, trailing
a shimmering thread, hiding
under a pile of wet leaves

Then there she was sailing
in her river of blood,  going
white and smelling like smoke
from a struck match behind
closed blinds on a ceramic floor,
a white blouse red as a sharp knife
collecting the light of mourning.

I will stay quiet.
I will say no more.
Just there where you left me
Im still here, didnt go.
You breath in, breath out,
My breath is still held,
From that very moment,
Where I was left.
Sun wakes up, falls asleep,
Do you think it misses the moon?
The moment when they meet I will move on,
The moment Sun sees the Moon I will speak, I will respond.
I stay still, keep quiet,
The words are taken away from my lips,
From the moment you left,
The moment your promises were no longer kept.
I stay still, mouth is shut,
Words are taken by the Moon,
It keeps them to speak with the Sun,
When they speak, listen,
They have eternity to talk over,
Spring comes autumn goes,
Decades pass near me,
I still stay still, can you see me?
At the same place same last breath you let me take, before you left.
Day by day, night by night,
I am still there, remaining quiet.
Like waterfall the words remain unspoken kept in a well.
I will remain quiet, till we speak again, from the moment where I didnt breath out.
Wait few hundred years more, till every Star will shine the last words
Till every leaf will whisper you
Every bird will tweet,
Just wait a millennium more,
I will still be there, where you left me.
With broken promises, confused and abandoned, I will remain quiet till the day we speak, the day you will bring me to life again.
Till then. I will stay quiet I will say no more.

i wrote a poem today
at 3 AM
it was not easy
i do not know how to start it
sentences, words, fragments
are messed up in my head
I wrote a poem today
in the morning
it was hard
asking myself
why was i even writing this
i wrote a poem today
writing my heart in words
they just threw away
i wrote a poem today
i needed a reason to write
and i had it
it wasn't the right one
i wrote a poem today
i gave it to them
i handed my heart
on a silver platter
and they didn't say anything
i wrote a poem today
i gave it again
and they showed me a new one
it wasn't mine
i wish they said something
anything
to say that my poem was good, or bad
i just needed to hear something
from them
but they didn't say anything

It is almost refreshing to sink into what I once was
To feel myself stagnate and lose interest
It's somehow relieving to meet my old feelings again
To feel both exhausted and restless

I am not doing enough yet, have not achieved
I am not trying hard enough, haven't put in my all
I am not reaching far enough, am not throwing my weight
I am not enough to climb over this wall

A wall between myself and motivation
Between creativity and creative endeavors
Between myself and my dreams and wants and hopes
A wall between stagnation and corrective measures

It feels like coming home to a house I never intended to buy
Like opening the door to dust and checks to pay off bills I forgot to write
Like finding my bed a collection of moths and holes
Like seeing where I was and intended to be until I was old

However

It is also like entering an old home never put up for sale
A space that I know but a space I dislike and won't return to as well
Like feeling the nostalgia from a bitter memory in some bastardization of regret
But moving on because you have moved on and don't plan on turning back yet

The nightingale has a lyre of gold,
The lark's is a clarion-call,
And the blackbird plays but a boxwood flute,
But I love him best of all.

For his song is all of the joy of life,
And we in the mad, spring weather,
We two have listened till he sang
Our hearts and lips together.

what will you leave in your passing
will your footsteps be gentle
or will you leave a land ravaged
an army is one creature with one mind
will you burn and destroy
as all armies have done down through time
will you be a cog in the track of a tank
the wing of a fighter jet
a killer with a mandate to ****.
In a world of arbitrary war
you never know in which you will be born
Peace or war. Remember the dead.