We lied there on the grass
Thinking about life
How it went so well
With or without strife

We shared the same thoughts
We were inseparable
All of our years
Our fun, always on a double

Then you sat up
Looked me in the eyes
Smiling so sweetly
I can't break the ice

I smiled back and hoped
That this wouldn't end
But then you spoke up
"I'm glad that you're my best friend"

When winter is over
Give praises,
With a goodbye kiss
Kissing the wintry weather goodbye

For years I dreamt that God would
find me the perfect man to grow old with
during the coldest part of winter,
a fling for the summer

An educator for spring and fall
Instead he send  Mr. Winter,
he was so cold and bitter
Mr.Summer, he was too hot to trot

Mr. Spring, the man was so unpredictable and moody,
and for the mysterious Mr. Fall
he keeps falling instead of rising.
So this year, I am once again, another lady who sing the blues
My Billie Holiday kind of sweet bitter blues…
is good-byes

I exercise often
and cry on the nights I don't sleep

love and an ego
a deadly combination

because it's almost like a voice in your head

and you want to grab the gun

or the bottle of Xanax your mother carelessly leaves behind the bathroom mirror

....and listen to that voice
that doesn't mix with love
like ***** doesn't mix with love
like ***** doesn't mix with pills

All I ever wanted
was a moment where
tomorrow and yesterday
didn't exist


I wasn't chasing my slippery hope
and you didn't manifest scenarios

Prosperity was around the block


For a minute
I saw the sky as it was
For a minute I could breathe
the air that was meant
for you and me

What have we been hooked on?

Songs sound better when you hurt
and I never want you to be capable
of singing this song as well as me


Do you remember when I'd lay in bed
for hours on end
and you'd pretend
to be dead with me
and our bodies laid soullessly
our thoughts connected
our hearts in sync?

I didn't know
those would be the constant memories
I'd sob most over

And I'd remind myself,
day in and day out,
when I'd turn to my left
feeling the cold dent
on my lonely mattress

You said,"You did this to yourself."
I did, you're right
God, I was scared
I was petrified

I left myself with only spite
when I had the courage
in the drawer of my nightstand
and I chose to look the other way

Now, I am in an abusive relationship
with my loud, stubborn ego
It's time to stop grocery shopping

It can only be stitched together
          with understanding
   The holes filled
               with trust
        And the missing pieces replaced
                    with love
            
             But a Broken Heart will always
                         remain *broken

/
The small roads
Is constricted
I can't reach at your home at all
Can't accelerate my desire newly

Walking out of mind
In another way,
Lost Address
After passing such a long days
Can't remember anything
All those demands of time

How else is a way to get lost in transit
Forget the way back home
But what is there left to be
Without the knowledge of my mind
 
Day by day Sounds seem like a fairy tale
Get lost on the road to losing forever
You do not come anymore
Can't call in my old name

However, yet I smell your hair gets wet
See the flowers to be born again
Anywhere in Another spring
Again I dream with this nature

All I know is wrong
But what happened at the time, causes
Love lives between forehead wrinkle lines
Exists as a single grain of winter dew on the grass
/
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

I do not want to forgive myself for the events I put you through

But I must in order to move on

You will always be a part inside my head that fills in the gaps of my consciousness

There is a version of you that speaks to me that I have created

Now, when I speak I remind myself of you often

I'm pretty sure I'll always be in love with you

And that's okay,  I can live with that

Because I don't think I could redo it again

The damage isn't worth it

Hey I love you, but no ******* way