I want to show you
That I care,
Though I am here
And you are there.

We've made a mess
Of what we've been
Yet we both know
We cannot win.

I didn't mean to hurt you
Didn't mean to lead you on.
Thought that I was being careful
But i guess that I thought wrong.

I'm sorry.

Mass graves breathing,
like beached jellyfish.
Ketchup packet pastels
painting a diner dish.
I sit and imagine
so many things and more.
I smoke ribbons of grey
that dance around
the diner door.

The people move
and have so much to say.
Watch them scurry and hurry
through the invisible day.
The sun's colors bounce off
weekly washed windows.
And I suffer from the certainty
that my fulfilled dreams
will fulfill me,
as I flick ashes into the world
for the wind to carry away,
dragging shadows.

The lullabies you wrote in my mind are starting to sound like screams.
And meanwhile she is writing the words "I'm sorry" like it's all that she has left,
Because maybe as she throws up on the bathroom floor
Maybe it is all she has left.
And he's running circles in my dreams begging me to get him out
As though I'm the one that put him there,
And I'm starting to believe that maybe I did.
And he's writing down clichés for me in places my mother would not approve
And he titles them as ****** love poems,
But he still believes they're better than mine.
And I'm writing my own obituary on my hips
The same way I used to write suicide notes along my wrists
Because your lullabies are screaming that maybe that's the only way I can feel again.

A man has to make decisions
He never wanted to make
The hardest thing is facing reality
When you know you must make the decision
But everything is in the way
What do you do?
You must be a man and make the decision.
Life was never meant to be easy,it will always be rough at times.
I'm not the best at coping, but i will learn to be better
It won't get easier from here.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

I stare up at the clouds and wonder what you would see
           if you were still looking up with me
I imagine you're looking down now, down at earth, at me
I wonder what your laugh would sound like, grown up
My heart is trying so hard not to break every time I think
           of your sweet smile and the rest of my body shakes
The tears don't come any more, not that I was ever one to cry

When night falls
            and I see the stars, I look at my wrist and recall how
            I had to compose my self enough to tell the artist how
            to spell your name
When night falls
            the moon is still enough to light up my arm so that
            I can trace the script with my fingertips
When night falls
            I can't do anything but quietly whisper *"I'm sorry."

            **I don't know why I'm the miracle and you're the memory

I'm just thinking of the man with his flawless rhymes and carefully calculated poems
And of the most poetic boy I've ever known
Wondering why I associated both of them with the color green

      ~       ~       ~

Green eyes
I've always wanted green eyes
Green is money
Green is growth
Green is spring
Green is life
But I've seen too much death
I've touched too much death
I've caused too much death
I've loved death
I've chased it, begged it, taunted it
Death is around me
I suppose that explains the blackness of my eyes

But your eyes
Oh the eyes that take away the pain
Those warm comforting eyes
That belong to a man I love so much it kills me every time I have to say goodbye
The man who I so desperately want to share everything with
The man who protects me
Who saves me
Saves me from the lies I tell without even speaking
My best friend that I can never keep
He is only on loan for brief moments
The moments I truly need him
The man who gave me love
The man who made me greater than myself

But your eyes
The hypnotizingly icy eyes of the boy I wanted to desire
I desired more than I was allowed
More than he allowed
More than they allowed
More than I could have
I lied lies he didn't believe
I guess that proves it
He was always smarter than me
A boy with eyes that could ****
Held his kindness close to his heart
He showed it to me in fleeting shadows and whispers
The boy who let me take a breath, though perhaps I held it in for too long

He was the brightest star the world had ever seen,
but no star can burn bright forever, although that was unforeseen.
He was a man who brought joy to all those around him,
so that he never had to show them how his life was grim.
He made them laugh until their stomachs hurt,
even though inside he was full of despair, sadness and disconcert.
Like a clown, his smile was painted on,
only when he removed it did you see the wretchedness in his deep blue eyes; that’s when it dawned
that he was a slow dying flower,
fading petal by petal and losing power
until the day he’d been poisoned enough by this ghastly world,
and he died once and for all by his own hand – that’s when the truth of his life really unfurled.

What do my words matter?
Im just a poet
Every time i open my mouth and speak the truth it just falls out of everyones ears
People do this for years
And the foreshadowing becomes predictable

What are we supposed to do
              with the string of hearts you've united in beautiful knots

Fading out of our lives without a chance to say goodbye

Your smile felt like home
                   and your voice was the calm in our storms
But your storm raged on
                   and you fought for so so long

         I'd like to believe you won anyway

Life has many ways of hurting us,
But it is for a good reason.
Even though we may see it as,
Harmful, inhuman or treason.

No matter what happens,
We must never give up.
All of us should join together,
Against this world that's so corrupt.

Sometimes things spiral out of control,
And seem like they'll never end.
So this is a message to life itself,
That we must all hit send.