This is my story,
so it will be.
Open your eyes,
but don't cry for me.

Started at five,
dad home from work
I had to grab him a beer,
oh, what a ****!!

Everyday he came home,
more drinks would follow,
off came the belt,
making me hollow.

Yelling commenced,
my mom on the floor,
"What did you say,
You ******* *****! !"

My screams were but silent,
in my own empty head.
Get out of this place,
wished I was dead.

Many years did follow,
of abuse on the walls,
Pounding and slamming,
No crying no calls

I never did laugh
and never did smile.
Just went to school,
getting by for awhile.

Anxieties fear agnostic fronts seeking a plethora of suicidal nightmares.

Drowning in the pools of  blood of the sacrificial lambs.

The reaper depraves our body of our soul;
leaving us in a pile of dark ashen earth.

That pile is blown away by the dusts of time, he crept in and we are no more.

Crying asylum,
swallows me whole.
White coats surrounds me,
taking control.

Forcible pills,
from lady insane.
Swallow them down,
or wrenching in pain.

Rooms smell of *****
and ***** and such.
Banging your head,
it drives you just nuts.

There's Sam in the corner
counting the bugs,
Alice walks around
giving false hugs.

Look, standing there,
Mike's tearing his face.
Sue's so surine,
screaming in space.

Lights go dim
bed time is bout.
Voices are silenced,
cuz the needles came out.

Strapped to my bed,
I am piercing the dark.
Orderly walks by,
sharp as a lark.

Lying all quiet,
alone and not proud.
A squeal from the speaker,
quite vocal and loud.

Scurry in the hallway,
drinking from his cup.
"Dr. Smith to the Psych Ward!!!"
"Hurry, the patient woke up!!"

On rainy days
I see the gloom
Close the curtain
Here comes the doom.

Look out the window
Drops on the pane
Pulled me away
Feeling the strain

Yelling and screaming
Covering my ears
Away in my room
Distant from fears

Make it go away
Squeezing my pillows
Don't want to hear it
The argument continues

The silence is brutal
I hear no more falls
No slapping or cursing
The final curtain call

I used to love to sing,
with my lads from the alter.
Unison in song
and praised by the fathers.

After the prays were over,
the congregation was home,
a father standing by me,
prowling in his robe.

"Follow me, my son"
with his stern, demanding voice,
Terrified and staggered,
I had no other choice.

Praying for my Lord,
the only way I know.
Make this devil stop,
I only want to go.

Silence to everyone,
no one will believe.
Suffering inside,
makes me want bleed.

Ten years later now,
the pain will only stay,
burning up my soul,
so much left to say.

I will never forgive him,
he committed the biggest sin,
MAY YOU ROT IN HELL!!
YOU ARE GOING TO THE PEN! !

Welcome inside!
My own purgatory.
My twisted mind.
My melted story.

Down every hallway,
open a different door.
Tempted by temptation,
fearing nature's *****.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
reflecting a dark stare.
Blood drips from the corners,
makes you want to dare.

Tiptoe to the staircase,
spirals out of pitch.
Death grip on the banister,
devil makes me trip.

Sinister and evil,
shadows follow me.
No more mental hauntings,
wake me from this dream.

Trapped by my surroundings,
biting every bit,
Seeing everything red,
by every blowing hit.

No perfect little world,
or perfect little bell.
Won't you trade me places?
Within my own living hell

Time to go back,
into my place.
Where no one can see me,
no light or no grace.

Time to go back,
into my hole.
Where all is forgotten,
all pain is fore told.

Time to go back
into my hell.
Where the creature is waiting,
that torturous cell.

Time to go back
into my sane.
Where my fortune is told,
all crazy as rain.

Time to go back
into my youth.
Where my story is begun
with the heel of a boot.

The Past is the Past ..
loneliness creeps right in..
the heart stops for a second
makes one wonder and ponder what is going on..
Tears fall like raindrops on a dry day in March
Spring slowly creeps in and surrounds us like the misty dew that it is..
those that shine through the deep mist of life will be like fallen snow ..
that sparks through the distant on the edge of the inevitable fade of the life that once begun..
Folds of mountain streams
like a breathe of nature's curves
spreading around the cascading rain
the moments I felt I belonged
were seconds that I was actually  alone
nothing familiar comes my way
as I lay here in this forgotten grave



Blessing my friends..
Debbie Brooks 2014

I dreamt I was lying,
forever dying.

Death is a question,
Life's but a mention.

I dreamt I was sitting,
forever believing.

Sadness is pure fear,
Happiness is but sheer.

I dreamt I was standing,
forever pandering.

Sight is not seeing,
blindness is but believing.

I dreamt I was writing,
forever sighing.

Hearing has no sound,
Listening is to bound.

I dreamt I was fed,
forever I was dead.

Our holidays were not special,
counting up all the years.
No joy or not happy,
only rages and fears.

Christmas' was unkind,
Presents all in a row.
My uncle dressed up as Santa,
then took me to mistletoe.

My birthday was meant for me,
but was really for the sin.
No blowing out the candles,
the evil did begin.

I saw the bunny hopping,
hiding all the eggs,
oh god, it was him,
Please, STOP! touching between my legs!!

Finally, Halloween!!
It's my only crutch.
Make this evil stop
I cringed at his touch!

The New Year rolled around,
I finally feel alive.
I killed that evil man
with the blade of my knife.

Balled up in the corner,
Head down to my knees.
This is my concealment.
This is my only plea.

Too afraid, to stand alone
against the evils that were sent.
They will never go away,
I am trying to repent.

Sin combined with lust,
greed within my head.
Falling off the cliff,
soon I may be dead.

Injected in my soul,
with tracks upon my arm.
Do I hang the rope?
Or do myself no harm?

Seeking no way out,
Seeing the illusion.
Drop another dose,
and take another poison.

Take away this pain
and sacrifice my soul.
I don't deserve to live,
So bury me in the hole.