It doesn't matter how hard I try
I never seem to get away
Cause after all you did to me
I fear these feelings will always stay

Your lies I believed were the truth beneath
The pain recedes but the heart bleeds
My instincts were right all along
I’m just a part of your love song

You see, I live my life in fear
Fear I won't succeed
And every small critique I get
Makes me once again recede

My Iloveyous to you were inevitable
Like the sun emitting his ardor
Despite the moon in slumber’s nocturne
He shines brightly with fervor

I live my life, always afraid
That I am not on the right path
And if I take one small misstep
I'll have to face somebody's wrath

Time consumes me while I waste it away
Like grains of sand as I clenched and ran
Only to lose it
Again and again

I am eternally scared
That all my judgments are wrong
And if I ever meet someone
They'll only like me for so long

But then I met you out of the blue
You were trying to forget someone too
We sparked like fireworks in the night sky
But the fire burnt out and our colors faded hue

I live my life in constant fear
I fear that you were right
I simply am not good enough
And I will not be alright

Thank you for proving me right
That we were not meant to be
How could you love another light
When I was the one your darkness pleased

But even worse than all these things
Is my terror that someday
I will meet someone else like you
And not be able to get away.

You complete me
&
You destroyed me

Stronger than waves crashing
Stronger than stone
Stronger than the stars that light
up the sky
Cataclysmic volcanic energy
is your might
Your strength to lead us
just as strong
As was your strength to decide
to willingly give
up your human existence
Providing us
Hope for everlasting life

it only took one week for you to re-light the candle,
and it only took me six words to set afire
(i'm so sorry i ****** up)
you were reckless with heat and i was so easily flammable and ******* for coming back when you did

there's always been a whole lot of grey between us
it wasn't black and white from the start
i was always making exceptions and you were always doing the wrong thing,
but making it seem so right

it feels like the butterflies in my stomach have turned into bees
stinging and buzzing whenever we talk and
im far past the school-girl crush, with sweaty palms and shy giggles
my hands are shaky and there's a lump in my throat because this isn't romance anymore,
this is red eyes and fractured ribs.

you keep referring to her as "a mistake"
but i keep hearing you say "i want her back"
and i wish you knew that the more you try to disguise your anger as indifference,
the more apparent it is that you wish things were different.

i will always be the altarboy,
i will always wait for you on hands and feet.
i will never be enough for you.
*i will never be enough for you

The way to her heart,
Is through respect,
You want to love her,
You need to love her friends,
You need to love her family,

Before you ever ask her,
Ask her father,
Show him,
That you are the man that respects him,
That you respect his daughter,

Get his permission to date,
Get his permission to be serious,
Get his permission to marry her,

Wherever life takes you,
Wherever loves takes you,
Respect her,
She is fragile,
She is precious,
She is the most valuable thing that you will ever have.

Love her as if you would never love again,
Kiss her as if it is your last,
Hold her as to comfort her,
Look her in the eyes when you tell her you love her,

Respect the things she says,
Her heart only trusts so many times,
Don't use all your chances to make her happy or she will find someone who will,

As the quote goes,

Protect her like a daughter,
Respect her like a mother,
Love her like a wife.

Be

Responsible,
Empower her,
Support her,
Personalize her problems,
Enrich her life,
Communicate,
Together live life

With sleepy eyes
tear stained cheeks
and galaxies in your head
I wonder
If you need me

I awoke
from hungry dreams
my soul hardly rested
weary from a fight
I carelessly gave my cells
in a vain bid to feed them
I forced my tongue to swallow poison
the taste had dulled to acid gray
My hands would not throw the dish away
so I sacrificed what I could not afford
releasing scarlet gold
from crying holes
I awoke
from hungry dreams
to another day of wretchedness

I sit straightly for a moment,
slouch back in my seat
As the dripping of my energy
reaches midday portions

the dragging of my feet
becomes the least of my worries
its not the pain that’s unbearable
but the many useless potions
the slowly ripping poisons
my mouth must keep desiring

I sigh
trying to remember
the truths I chose so randomly
to write off as tacit lies
in my moneyless estate
it was easier
to think I could live without them
but now I see I’ve only died