By Arcassin Burnham

I'm happy with not dealing with your *******,
I'm happy to know there aren't deals being made,
And without anything made, we wouldn't have anything,
Including ice cubes and lemonade,
But I'm happy to know I don't have to prove anything,
I'm happy that the only I can do is prove myself wrong everytime
it will never change,
To be inmy own comfort zone,
and demanding everyone to leave me alone,
I'm happy I don't have to lay a finger to work,
I'm happy that I know what work even is,
Happy that I could prepare my dreams for the ultimate,
So one day those rich kids that I hate will work for me.

too many poems
too many poets
describing the
same **** feelings
and yet
throughout the centuries
none of us
have ever found
the right words

(Early Mornings)


It is 4:10 AM
Here i am, facing you...
Haven't showered...haven't brushed...haven't gurgled
Too early to look...but, i could not resist seeing
This person with disheveled hair
Eyes are not too willing to open
Avoiding the uncertainty surfacing...slowly but surely
Making itself known, this morning so early...
An empty shell, is what i could see
A looming nonentity...

No coffee yet, but, the eyes already speak
You don't answer, your looks are so bleak
That is how you tell me i am  stubborn
But i've been this way since birth...so torn
You tell me, i am just in denial
In front of you, it is like, i am on trial
But, i am just a mortal
Maybe we are both tired
How can we ever go back to being inspired?
Maybe you'd rather shatter into pieces...like i would,
I'd carefully gather your shards...would you gather mine, if you could?

Now, later, tonight, tomorrow...we always face each other
There are days, when i look at you, you make me smile, i feel better!
But, most times, i hate the reflections, they make me glare
And i so despise the thoughts that ensue...i counter your stare
..... I close my eyes, with a plea,
A blink could not erase, the images that i see..

I have never wanted separation
And yet, Fate brought me here, in isolation
You're my silent pal...my silent witness
You say nothing when i become senseless
I leave you in the morning
I come home from work in the evening
And i find you still here... on this wall
Welcoming me home...where i just sit, or stall
Faint jazzy sounds comfort me
A few hours rest...late at night...i sleep...i am free
Then, again, the alarm ruins the stillness of the moment
Robs the dawn of its precious silence
And i rise...to drown anew in despondency...in self pity,
Or is this lunacy?
All i see is gray...and black
Be it dawn...or dusk.

If  ever i surrender
I'd be swamped with the stark truth, the reflections you offer
...this can't be a facade,
...in front of you, it's just too bad

I am

U n m a s k e d...

....I am weak, powerless...i crawl
Over and over, i struggle not to fall,
Over and over, i  look at you... but, just the same..i fall.

         (January 22, 2015)


Sally

Copyright May 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

By Arcassin Burnham


How do you make light of bad situation
Evolving sexuality?
Wanna go back to the way it use to be,
I'm not appalled in the slightest,
I thought that we'd elevate the highest,
There's no one else I rather love but you,
You made my life a reality,
My hair was short,
Cut like a man,
And even though I didn't like lesbians,
I didn't fully understand,
But the difference in you,
Made it all worth while,
You never fathemed your face,
But I worshipped your smile,
Kissing you was like heaven,
Something I didn't believe,
Until that night at the lake,
When you came out to me,
Couldn't explain what we had going on,
Somethings wrong,
Putting muscle on my emotions love,
it was strong,
I think of us on a daily basis
Whenever your gone,
I see the room is very spacious,
Whenever I hit the ****,
Going to school with this smile on my face,
You're the epitome for a better human race,
Butterflies
When you asked me to stay,
Have no reasons for a depressing day,
When I see you,
I realize it will be okay,
Thinking this was all just another phase,
But little did we know the worst was coming our way....

Someone knew
About our little affair,
Told the whole school,
I just couldn't bare,
You stayed home
While I went there,
Holding up their camera phones,
Wait hold up!
**** your ignorant childish laughter,
So what !? I kissed a girl,
Shes my everything
And I promise I would give her the world,
And further more,
I walk with a demon by my side baby,
Swear you can't deny baby,
Popular girls are cheap *****
And *****,
Memories are a little slurry,
Feeling like Jeanette McCurdy,
If I don't get out of here,
Gonna act like a different person,
I was never a quiet person,
I just never took no mercy,
I was born with several burdens,
Strong,so that you'll never hurt me,

took me by surprise,
I didn't realize,
I could have went to you,
why did you do it,
why did you do this to me,
they found you hung on a ceiling fan,
I didn't know it affected that bad,
I miss your smile,
everything about you,
love.

The it upstairs
thinks it's God,
But it isn't.
Man or Woman,
It comes in a thousand genders.

It's only has one mind,
Its own pleasure,
The power of Now,
Well, that's what it's all about.
The cost,
Well, that's no problem.

It begs
It borrows
It steals
It pleads
It lies to you straight faced.

If you bleed,
When the consequences are paid,
It says, "Not me"
"We'll deal with it later"
"One more time"
"One more round"
"One more rodeo"
"One last time for the road."

It's pretty smug
most of the time,
Can't move your
arms or legs,
But whips up anxiety
if
you say, "No. "
It'll show you resistance is futile.

Though it only hangs
around
for little while,
It'll let you know.

It speaks to you
in the third person voice -
You deserve it
You need it
You've been so good.

It'll talk you into trances
strange self-destructive dances,
Twist you upside down,
Inside out.

It ain't God,
Somebody needs to talk to it soon,
Let it know,
These days of running the show
are numbered,
There's more to life than this slumber
Numbness has had its abundance,
Talk to it soon
While there's still time.

A whisper, though, says something different,
"How's about
one more
time. "

By Arcassin Burnham


"Summer Sad face"


I could spend this joyous day with you again,
Then again it's a three day period of what's to end,
Please don't pretend,
That you care about this season,
Enjoying palm trees and your Facebook,
Nike hightops,
But at that time around were crooks,
Stealing your heart,
Telling you to let your guard down,
Captain hook,
Clawing at the emotions,
Definitely a piece of mind they took,
You,
Could,
Have,
All my sadness,
You,
Would,
Be,
My queen of madness,

Just like Alice,
Card games come to life,
Babe I had it,
Driving force in my life.


_________


"Seeing The Glance Of A Girl"


tingly and sharp like thorns and vines,
Beauty needs no word or rhymes,
Character speaks for itself,
It says I'm chilling but I might be doing fine,
Take the soul right out of kids,
Just the devils bids,
On souls,
That could be kept in cold endeavors,
Captured from underneath like fishing poles,
Keep your mouth shut ! She's too clever,
Clever girl,
Pretty girl,
If my reputation wasn't ruined,
I would be your Superman,
Ambitious girl,
Candy girl,
I'd love you all to peices,
Til I can barely stand,

*I really wanna dance with you*

Heart and passion backs up everything,
Even when in chorus class she sings,
1000 angels just scatter,
Showing her devoted blessing,
I feel great affection for those green eyes,
Turns the tide,
Seven seas eliminated,
Chipted plates for frozen foods,
Let me get you motivated.


_________


"~how long~"


...and when they throw hate never turn your (back)
just notice that they'll always hit you (back)
and you might not ever get the chance (back)
but hopefully you figured out that,

...and when they throw hate never turn your (back)
just notice that they'll always hit you (back)
and you might not ever get the chance (back)
but hopefully you figured out that,...…........

Exactly What you call human contact,
Looking for validation,
Or just something ask back,
Preying to target someone,
Further approach to attack,
Scientists can prove this ****,
How long can you extract?

A theory to be LOVED,
A feeling to be ABOVE
A desire to fly like a DOVE

But I don't think they fly,
Oh yeah right ! They cry, duh.


__________



"Circling Through"


Made a u-turn into the pit,
Laid deception on my lap and read it a bedtime story,
Put it to sleep,
And the same with ignorance,
As blissful as that is,
Parting from my slumber only to hear knocking on my door,
Opening it,
And it reality,
Telling me how situations won't be as pleasant,
We all have different lives,
Just learning to circle through the antics of it all,
Taught myself the meaning.