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 Jun 2016
A Cup Of Sunbeams
Dreamer, it is time,
For you to draw your sword again.
Long enough has it rusted –
Laid unused –
As you slept in your prison of fear.
Wake up now! It is time for your dreams,
To come true.
Those walls are only as thick,
As you let them be;
They only hold strong,
As long as you fear them.
Now tell me you still have courage,
Tell me you still believe,
Because if you do,
Then tell me you won’t let yourself,
Suffer in here any longer;
You were not meant to die,
In this prison of fear.
So go! Break free! Fly!
Draw your sword and finally,
Leave those ***** walls behind...
 Jun 2016
PrttyBrd
Little boy
Little boy
Come let me be your friend

Little girl
Little girl
I do not play pretend

Little boy
Bathed in light
It is not a game to me

Little girl
In the shadows
I am not what you think you see

Little boy
I see* You
Not what you show the world

But I know you
From eons past
You are not a little girl

I am
What you make of me
Sweet angel in the sun


You will
Be the death of me
As it has since begun

Your smile
Is my very breath
Sweet gray-eyed boy of mine


And your love
Is worthy of my soul
I'm yours through all of time

Then how, pray tell,
Could I lay to rest
The purest form of light


By holding you
Sweet love of mine
You blacken all that's bright

Brighten my shadows
With your love
I promise I will learn


I will not change
The you I love
I'd rather lose a turn

A turn at what
I cannot see
I do not play this game


I'll find you
In the next life of ours
As it is all the same
62316
 Jun 2016
Skaidrum
...
Spare me, if you would

It's a foreign land but a familiar street,
red broken teeth and alabaster snow;
I remember it fondly.

Sober winter and blue cloth;
I still see us there.
I'm almost certain, that
St. Petersburg questioned our youth.
just a little closer
"Dance with me, Kirusha?"
Always

All those years ago,
and we still drink up this disease.
The sour love of iron and wine
with shots of homesickness.
Russian rouge
American Dream
"Why did you have to leave?"

I ache to recall it,
because those gates still leak with cold.
This value withers in the white noise;
"Don't you ******* dare say that his death was just an experiment."
'You failure'

I sought it,
the ribbons of old confidence
while the stars looked on from their chairs.
I never found what I was looking for.

Go ahead and criticize;
the way we baptized my betrayal.
Knot up all the love you wasted
and send it overseas.

All that matters to me, Romichka
is that Death paid no mind to you.

Ruby apples at my doorstep
flowers that need blood instead of water.
A sense of hunger in this forsaken city
does not comfort me.

I just suppose
I've been thinkin' too much
And the bitterness let itself in again.

So when you find the time,
Write whatever's left of me in the fire;
along with all the other things.

...
I want to see you again
© Copywrite Skaidrum
 Jun 2016
Cat Fiske
the boy with light hair,
had a thin soothing voice,
that filled me with care,
and held broad shoulders underneath,
his hickey covered neck,
his adam's apple always turned me on,
and it soon became covered from my peck,
and he would return the favor,
and would hold me tight in his lanky arms,
and I'd look into the eyes of my savior,
eyes that you'd never forget in your life,
and he held me tight,
and protected me,
I knew everything was going to be alright,
the boy with light hair was mine,
and he called to tell me he loved me,
and to make sure I knew he cared,
his heart was deeper then the sea,
and he poured waves of love onto me,
he held me hand and never let go,
and pulled me in and held me close,
and if love hurt I wouldn't have known,
because it all felt so good,
until the day,
the boy with light hair,
came my way,
and threw me around his house,
saying I couldn't leave,
and he pushed me up against the wall,
and ripped my coat sleeve,
it was his,
it smelled like cats and moist hair,
and he then held me,
and told me he cared,
a day later,
he striked my face,
and then I returned it back,
and when his friend left he took me to a place,
and he picked me up and sat me down,
and punched me hard,
and I broke down,
I cradled my face in my hands,
he stared at the outcome,
and picked me up and held me close,
I laid on him as I went numb,
and the boy with the light hair,
kept pretending he loved me,
even when he would beat me,
til I begged on my knees,
and every time I was with him,
I thought it was okay,
he hurt me so much,
but i still stayed,
I didn't know the boy with light hair,
was doing bad things,
I never knew it was wrong,
I thought they were all good things,
I just didn't notice,
how he was hurting me,
the boy with the light hair and his motives,
he even went on to **** me,
and i sat their and let him do it,
everyday,
he went and ripped off my outfits,
I never questioned the boy with the light hair,
I didn't think to do so,
he did so many bad things,
I never would say no,
I just keep crying,
and staying quiet,
it was hard,
but I got by it,
and the boy with the light hair,
left me during the snow,
he mocked me,
and called me a ***,
and I called and called,
and cried to the phone,
and I cried more each time,
the operator said leave  a message after the tone,
and i begged him to call me back
but he never will,
like the call,
the boy with the light hair will never love me back,
and I cried and still do as I await his call.
 Jun 2016
Cat Fiske
What have I done,
to make everyone hate me,
to allow others to treat me so bad,
this is something,
only hate,
would of caused,

What have I done,
to make you all hate me so much,
because only hate,
can cause,
this kind of pain,
to make someone hurt so much,

What have I done,
to hurt everyday here,
its killing me,
inside, I know I will die,
and never come back,
only if I stay here,

What have I done,
because I want to stop,
I want to live a little bit longer,
but the pain keeps going,
I am alone with these fears,

What have I done,
Because now everybody,
hates me,
their is no one to trust here,
no soul left inside,
like theirs no one left here to save me,

What have I done,
to make you not care,
if you don't care,
as it seems to be,
then just let me,
walk out and leave,

What have I done,
to find myself here,
I need to escape,
I don't want to die here,
the odds never fall,
in my fate,

Please just Tell me,
What have I done?
Tell me, Please!
What have I done?
I Promise to stop!
What have I done?
so much pain
 May 2016
Cat Fiske
My nostalgic mood,
does not help in getting myself separated from feelings of you,

My nostalgic heart,
is abandoned and can't restart.

My nostalgic mind,
Makes me day by day get behind,

My nostalgic corpse,
can't get its motions to get towards,

any kind of new beginnings,
because of my nostalgic thinking's.
 May 2016
Cat Fiske
I wake in a rusted copper red stained bed,
and focus my gaze though the window ahead,
to see the sun rise in a  crimson, flame, flush, shade of glow,
the view reflected in my eyes seem burnt, but cold and slow,
I see rose red flowers in the meadow,
and the shine of a rainbow,
the sea of dark pastels in a strawberry sky,
the cardinals fly,
and as I change my sight to the inside,
the fluttering spotted ladybug try to hide,
I get up and walk across the maroon hard wood floor,
until my feet finally reach the bathroom door,
and I reach a sad sight inside the white room,
the seen is diluted and blank to the view,
I raise my body in fists of hateful recklessness,
and crash my ****** fists into the mirror in elegance,
and helplessly the glass reflections fall to the floor,
and cuts me until my blood flows to the door,
the spotted ladybug hiding on the ground,
couldn't escape the fateful death as it drowned,
and I collapsed next to the bug,
and soaked my skin into the ****** rug.
and I waked to find a sea of vermilion,
acting like a chameleon,
as it laid in pools across my pale bare floors,
as something to large like a corps to ignore.
Vermilion red in my eyes,
Vermilion red stuck in my mind,
Vermilion red lives until I leave for the sky.
 May 2016
Cat Fiske
Like a candle we all shrink away,
and are left in a pool of our own mess,
but I collected up the wax,
to make the broken things new,
and that's when my candle holder shattered,
and you can't fix things like broken glass,
the same way you can with old used wax,
it has to stay broken,
because you can't mend all broken things.
 May 2016
Skaidrum
...
One day you'll find that in reality people don't care, they're just curious.

┯┷
Do not follow this black willow dog
"I'm not following you."
The lucid smoke hums you lie
"I don't smoke."
Of course you don't
"Then what do you mean?"
You merely burn

┯┷
"So...why are you always by yourself?"
It was a quiet war
"Quiet war?"
I lost so many
"So many what?"
Beloved souls to the book
"What book?"
Death's wish-list

┯┷
"Are you the only one left?"
Supposedly
"How do you know?"
This rain spares nothing
"So you don't know."
Time knows
"It's 3:04 a.m."
So it is

┯┷
"Are you going home?"
The city is laughing, little lamb
"Why is it laughing?"
Cold feet of the crossroads
"Why are we talking about crossroads?"
Home was eaten there
"Excuse me?"
That is why we stray

┯┷
"You look sad."
I am indeed
"Why don't you rest for a while?"
Is the riverbed dry?
"What are you talking about?"
Drought season isn't here yet

┯┷
"Are you hungry?
I drank chipped starlight
"I asked if you were hungry."
The abyss always is
"I'm lost..."
Nothing needed to be found

┯┷
"Who are you?"
A stray willow dog
"What's a willow dog?"
Yellow bones rattle the concrete
"Why are they yellow?"
I'm grieving
"Because?"
The sky died in his heart

┯┷
"What if I told you I loved you?'
Coins in the fountain
"That has nothing to do with..."
Forget them
"Forget who?"
Sweet water wishes
"But wishes are not forgotten."
The smoke is humming again
"How peculiar.."
You take these for granted

┯┷
You have disobeyed
"Oh?  How so?"
You followed me to the cobblestones
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Blue mirrors
"What about them?"
Reflect morbid futures
"But you don't have one, don't you?"
Willows weep for  many  reasons

┯┷
"Hey...you're going the wrong way."
Am I, now?
"Heaven's this way."
...
It's a merciless road.
© Copywrite Skaidrum
 May 2016
Thandiwe
Since then...I allowed my heart to take whatever form it wanted.
I trusted the process, letting the heart mould itself as it is supposed to.
I had ample faith that the end is far....little did I realise the end is right next to me.

At first, it felt like a bulldozer had savaged my entire being.
Your words left my mind empty, without a way forward.
A deep grave of hate slowly formed...that is where you would end up.
As appetizing the thought...I want nothing to do you.
Even you residing in my den of enemies is not worth it.
I have done a thorough clean up of hoodlums and heartbreakers like you.
You seem so pointless. This anger towards you is pointless.

I look forward to the treasures that will bloom from this. I'm convinced there are treasures.
You have no hold over my dreams and I refuse to allow my heart to slump in your filth.
It was hard, felt like the world was dumped on my shoulders, soul dark and heavy, mouth dry and tears flooding my living room.
But after a serious self-talk....I remembered my worth, remembered you mean nothing to me....you have no hold on my destiny.
The love you spoke of was and is fake. I don't need it.

I don't need that sort of make-believe love which has no truth...
The kind that loves the idea of love...yet despises love itself.
I have no place for thieves and liars....robbers and fakes.
My mind keeps telling me this is for the best and that better days are to come.

I feel sorry for the one you chose, she knows nothing of your hoodlum ways and smooth tongue.
Coated with every lie possible yet disguised with a fake-romance finish.
She knows not of your empty heart...
your inability to be real...
your other side...
your effortless ways of hurting another...
precious time which meant zero to you...
your exhausted yet experienced hands..
your over used 'I will wait for you'....
your conniving ways disguised by caring efforts...
your smile and charm packaged by pure deceit.

She is clueless. And so in love....I shake my head in despair for you dear sister.
I trust you will not endure the heartache I did.
I hope he will see you a better person than I.
I trust he repects you. Genuinely loves you.

She will bear the brunt of your heart smashing ways.
I am done and over the 'could haves & would haves'...
New day brings new opportunity.
Time to listen to my soul and feed my mind.
Re-enjoy the beauty of living and re-mind myself of may chosen path.
 May 2016
ZT
Breathe the scent of sin
Inhale everything, leave nothing behind
As it goes deep in
to your throat, your body gives a faint warning
a slight choke it seems
Still it continues to sail down to the deepest of your body
it wanders around
and mingles with every bit of your cell
As your blood rushes through
mixing, intertwined with those sins
Your body becomes suddenly paralyzed
and soon you'll wake up in paradise
 May 2016
PrttyBrd
Unable to breathe
My heart, in a state of panic
My soul, half joy/ half pain
With the darkness a true void
And the light, divine
So twisted in two
That breaking is imminent
Which survives
Darkness...
Or
Divinity
For to live as two
Is not living
5416
 May 2016
PrttyBrd
It's a struggle
To exist
With only
Half
A soul
10w
50416
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