I was seven years old
When my dad broke my heart.
He said he would move away
But we would never be truly apart.

I waited, and waited...
Sometimes in the  intense heat, or snow
But only with age I learned
That my dad would never show.

One day I got tired of waiting
and stopped watching the road.
My heart hardened a bit though mom
Still thought it was made of gold.

I guess at this point was when
I started to lowkey hate men.
Never have one kept his word to me
Not josh, nor Caleb. Not Keith, nor Ben.

All my relationships fail,
I leave them before they leave me.
It hurts less you know?
When you know you hold the key.

So at 20 years this where I am at.
And this is why I write.
It takes the pain away you see,
Some, but not much.

snowflakes are prettier when I’m alone

when i walk with my face up towards the sky
smiling goofily to myself

when i twirl around pretending i’m in a movie that no one is watching
because no one is if no one is there

and i like it that way

Call every day, because if you don’t tell me
Every single detail of your life,
You’re a liar and you don’t love me.
I want to know who you’re dating,
What ****** you off, why your brother is being
An annoying goofball, oh did I forget to mention?
If you don’t tell me when you’re going out
You don’t want to spend any time with me
And I take that offensively.
I need your opinion on everything,
Even if you have to be brutally honest
Because if I look fat I would wanna know
But don’t tell me I look fat because
It’ll hurt my feelings and I won’t let you forget it.
Hold grudges because when we get into fights
I want to bring up things from the past that I can use against you.
We’re supposed to love unconditionally, no judgment,
But I get to judge you because that’s what best friends do.
I need to make sure I’m right, most of the time.
You’re wrong. And I get the last word.
By the way, I need 30 minutes to an hour
of your day, every day, because if you don’t give it
you’re a bad best friend who won’t make time for me.
My boyfriend is equally as important as you
But sometimes he needs extra attention
So don’t get mad when I ditch you for him or anything.
Because if you do you’re a bad best friend for not
Letting me be happy.
You need to support me even if you don’t agree with me,
Love me when everyone hates me,
Oh, and did I say, You have to be beneath me,
because if you try to beat me, you’re too selfish for your own good.
So would you like to fill out an application?

Pressure from someone else is called peer pressure
Look it up, google it, it's a thing
I apologize for the inaccuracy of my definition but you get the gist 
Peer pressure is a ******* ****** bag telling you to **** his **** when you don't want to
It's when "friends" tell you to have your first shot, smoke, sniff of whatever mood altering substance they want you to consume
Just watch a crashcourse, that **** is bad for you okay
It's when you kiss someone you don't want to
When you stay out late after your curfew 
When you sneak out late at night to meet the guy you have a "thing" with but everyone knows your his rebound
But peer pressure
Don't give in 
All your gonna feel
Is absolute regret

Been ******* ova a thousand times
Result of that is trust isnt on my mind
Thats one thing i dont have
So i kno any relationship i start wont last
I try to believe that your not like my past
But after you gave it all its hard to redo that
I have put my heart on the line
Covered my eyes to lies i played blind
Closed my ears to gossip in the streets
Of her cheating and not claiming me
Who would of thought the one you give your soul
Would trade it for what they thought was gold
Make you out to be the fool when time of approach comes
And i loved her so much i believed her how dumb
So now you come in singing a song i have heard
How you would love me forever and my heart you wont hurt
Sorry to be the barrier of bad news
But i must be real and say i dont believe you
Yes i heard you when you said you'd love me on dieing knee
And your promise to never cheat
But your words are oh to familar
I have dejavu with your words this is a bad delima
Trust isnt something i can give easily
As well as my heart my mind cant you see
Take it slow with me i cant go fast
I refuse to get out of us what i did in my past
I be ****** if i get hurt again
Having to hear gossip from my friends
I will not hold the sign of pain any more
Before i go thru it again i will show you the door
I dont want to wait up at night for you to walk in
Or get scared when i see you around another woman
I want to be free of playing the fool
And to be honest i just want to love and be loved without trust issues

probably you're paying for all sins you did,
not all at once,
but all of them feeling a little all day.
because you dom't know take what God gives you,
you just put friendships on the garbage like trash,
you deserve pay for what you did...
probably you already paid you lose who you loved more, yet you still can't thank to god for what they made for you...
maybe you suffer, and i cant undertand but you should be more,delicate and more lovely for people that love you.
I made some mistakes, but I was always there for you and you still
despise me,
you're unfrateful,
god will punish you believe in that,
because karma is a ***** and karma has no deadline.
-d.a