I used to share a room whith my father
he would go outside and sit in his shed
Or
he would go out with friends
and get drunk

anyway when he was out
every night
I would stay up till midnight
and I would watch the stars and the moon

They'd like to sparkle and glow
iluminating the dark room and the outside
I always like to have a conversation with them
As I heard the clutter of conversation between stars

I always had my personal conversation with the moon
the moon would always give me complements
on how the light reflected on my pale skin
that nobody else liked
On how my personality was different
Which nobody loved
On my interesting take on the world
which everybody put me down for
And on my funny and different mind
which everybody called me dumb

On the first night of me doing this
the moon and stars forever became my friends
Id count everyone of them
id name everyone of them
Every time they appeared
Id say hello to each one before we began talking
We always has the funnest of conversations

And then midnight comes around
And I say to all of them
Good morning
Because I know they go away when the sun came up
So I said good morning because midnight is the start of
A new day
(I never liked the sun for chasing away my friends)

And id do this every single night and still do
But around the time I began kindergarten
I began to truely notice that some stars have disappeared
but there would be new and different ones
So I named the new ones
and welcome them
and things changed a little
Everytime a new one would come in
Id just name it and we'd continue our conversations

And there was this one star
Very unique
It was off in the middle of the sky
all alone no stars but far off around it
and it shined brightly
of course the other stars weren't avoiding this little star
In fact they were trying to go to the poor thing
but the sky had its own plans so it stayed alone

All that night i had a fun conversation
And at midnight I went to say good morning
but i forgot to name the poor star
so right when the clock struck 12:01
I named the star "Hayden"
and I said to Hayden good day
And he sparkled and I went to bed

The next day I went to school
and I felt how Hayden felt
alone
that day were having hot chocolate
and watching the nightmare before christmas
it was into the school year and a day before winter break
I was sitting in the back alone
watching the show
and this boy.... he walked up to me
and sat next to me and he said
" interesting movie huh?"
I just sat there and stared in amazement
And I shook off the look and just said "yah"
I'm going to spare you the rest of the conversation and just say
we became good friends
at the end of the day we shook hands and I said
" my name is Tommy."
And he said
" its nice to meet you Tommy ... my names Hayden... its nice to be your friend."

I walk away in amazement

but that night Hayden isn't in the sky
And never was again
And me and Hayden at school were friends
all the way up to fourth grade
He turned around and stabbed me in the back
He betrayed me and left me alone
And I never saw him again

I was truly alone again
Just had the stars and moon as friends

And new stars continue to roll in
And I continue to name each one

But I wonder
what happens to stars?
do they become suns
do they just explode and destroy and disappear
like he did?
And I say to myself
" not all stars disappear
not all stars will be that way
but we know
Stars are your friend when no one else is"


See everyone is a star in there own way
each different
and In a different location
But you gotta know
were all in the same sky

And as the moon lights up my life
And my room and the outside
I think and know
I'm glad to have the nigh sky as my friend
Cause when I'm dead
I don't wanna go to heaven and have fun
I don't wanna go to hell and watch those he wronged me
Burn
I want to dance and walk around the night sky
and truly meat the moon
and each star
Sun (even though if they chase away my friends
They deserve something to)
Nova
Black hole
Comet
Meteor
planet
I wanna meet everyone in the sky I saw
all of those who were there for me when I was alone
The night sky is mine
and my friends home
Don't worry
No one is alone
for the leading moon
isn't days doom
its happiness
and my true. happy. home.

Sighs escape my ravaged mind and soul
I so often feel I have no where safe to go--
safe as in a place where I can truly be
the person who I always thought was "Me."