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1.4k · May 2020
her/me/her
Karyna Holleman May 2020
try to breathe in.
try to breathe out.
his hands are on my sternum.
my mind blacks out the image.
i’m wringing my hands together.
no...i’m pulling my hair.
his breath is on my neck —my ear.
i’m pressing my palms into my eyes.
i’m not sure oxygen is making it to my lungs.
he’s making animalistic sounds.
he’s thrown my body into shock.
it’s like watching in slow motion.
—wait. no.
it’s another girl.
and another.
and another.
it’s me.
it’s her.
god, i hope it’s not you.
845 · Jun 2020
Paris
Karyna Holleman Jun 2020
its time to say goodbye to paris
to the dreams of you/a typewriter/ an early morning cigarette
to you forgetting your coffee until its grown cold
to the muse I used to be with a glass heart and amber dreams
a golden room collects dust and unfulfilled daydreams
I erase our paris from my memory
481 · Jan 2019
2 a.m. Again
Karyna Holleman Jan 2019
driving alone at 2 a.m. again
   there’s no more you in the passenger seat

the rain and i are alone at 2 a.m. again
    there’s no more you to dance to thunder with

i’m staring at the ocean at 2 a.m. again
    there’s no more you to tell me about the moon

i’m terrified of being alone at 2 a.m. again
      there’s no more you to save me from myself
461 · Sep 2018
Flight Risk
Karyna Holleman Sep 2018
Boarding a plane to nowhere for my problems.

I bring nothing with me, nothing of my past, nothing of what I am leaving behind.

I will leave you with the memories of us, I will not want to use them again.

A trace of my perfume and a piece of your heart you cannot seem to find will be the only things that tell you I was not a dream.

I did not give you a chance to ask me to stay, after all, this flight I’m catching isn’t one I have ever missed.

I have done this enough times now that I almost don’t feel a thing. Almost.

I know you will wonder if I will come back, because I will wonder too.

But running is all I know, all I am. I have not yet loved me enough to let myself love you too.
384 · Oct 2018
Maraschino
Karyna Holleman Oct 2018
Tying cherry stems into knots

We wrestle unforgiving, sinful thoughts

The taste of you burns on my tongue

Midnight mistakes from when we were young

We keep telling ourselves we’ll be just fine

I can’t help but remind myself, you were never truly mine
282 · Feb 2020
Still Love
Karyna Holleman Feb 2020
I need you to understand. I will always love you, even in your broken.
Not in spite of it or because of it, but as a result of it.
I buy dead roses so they can see their beauty in my reflection when they wilt away.
I can’t leave broken glass figurines where they may never find a home.
So when you’re trying to piece yourself together, or start to fall apart, know that I love you.
And I can only hope that you still love me too.
204 · Feb 2020
love songs
Karyna Holleman Feb 2020
sad songs feel like you.
—happy ones too.
love songs scream how much i wish i stayed
heartache ballads follow the rhythm my heart breaks in, slow dancing with me in candlelight
sweet melodies the only relief from silence sent from hell
the only love i’ll know until i’m no longer a million miles from you

— The End —