I'll wear long sleeves 
Across my arm
As if
It never was
Last time

Always feel gross after I eat
Try to relax by the bubble jets at the ymc
Can't wash this song away no matter how long I sit
The sauna and all this exercise couldn't burn the calories today
Just want to cut this cake up and eat what I crave
I hate that I can't lose this weight

The cuts don't stop
They just rain down my skin
Close your minds to what I'm saying
Lock your heart
****** hands, go numb
When the vein's slit            
The key to my perfect insanity            
Burns a wind scar throughout my heart

I'm okay...
Really    
It was kinda ...  
A slight scratch
A shaving incident    
And definitely not on purpose    
                                          
That would be the most truthful story I could tell
If my entire body
Was not covered all over with...
All these mysterious scratches
Shaving incidents            
And things which happened by coincidence from what I can tell

A year ago
We held hands
All along
You despised
Everything
I did for you  
And everything    
I didn't do  
Now we're trying to talk
To be in love with someone
We're not
Trying to talk again
To make things work

We both say
We've tried                            
But I don't think
We tried at all

You've made me look like a complete idiot around my exes
More than I ever have  
The first time got me laughing and feeling sorry for your future with them

Thinking 
As though
I have just dreamed
The depths of a great seem
But there's a strange black hole
That keeps trying to 
Keep me 
Inside 
It

My salt and vinegar chips glaze my lips
To the point of pure golden bliss
I will miss every chip even more when they're gone  
But I cannot let my tears fill this empty bag

I'm better off without you
To be so small
~
One day I'll be so
Covered in blood
That when I cry,
No one will notice
Or ask why
Or even pretend to sympathize

Slit open my lips
(Just can't erase)
Soak up the blood
(Just won't erase)
Burn the kiss twice
(Make me feel this erase)

Mistakes are like scars that
Will never heal
Tears I hide  
Are wetting my eyelids
They stay longer than centuries
And never seem to go away

Today is going to blow
I want to **** a lemon
Can't wait til it's over
This day is over and it's now dark out
In my bed with my phone, I'll fall asleep texting  
Without you responding
Maybe I'll die without meaning    
Maybe I'll attract fruit flies with fruit baskets instead

This dull blue razor by my side
Is nothing compared to the broken glass                            
That hides beneath these red eyes

My cruel intentions were to break us up
But I think to be honest
It sounds more like a duck

When the wolf opens his mouth
I will be gone
A journey to the stars
And some worlds to change

Don't follow me          
Just go away
Walking
To run

Leave me behind
After I stop waiting for you

Crunchy crunch crunch; mirrors and sinks
Olive garden breadsticks  
Dried crouton thingies  
Enriched yum yum
Whole-y yum yums
O
Om
Omgeeeeee

My heart is beating
Pumping in your blood
Cut me open
Enter me

You committed the honorable
To get Lizzy off your monkey's back
So I left you some tea
And you came back for a drink

                                                
(About a "butler" who faked the honorable)

I've always thought I'd be ready
But I actually wasn't
It's sickening
No matter how hard I try
And the warm fluids in your mouth
Burns and tingles inside
Makes you want to gag all over the place
And you try to be polite and say that you'd love it
So you don't sound rude

Take my chains and I'll take yours
We'll toss these into the woods together
You'll take me as I rest in your arms like so
And you'll hold my knife close to yours when I'm shaking  
                                                        
I didn't think it would be so hard to stop  
But with my poems, I can do pretty much anything                            
Our eyes sense the magic that's hidden
We clear our minds and write again

Lotion rubbed over my hands
As you move them around my body
To soften each area of my skin
Lotion all spread
As I feel my soft hairless thighs
And lose my ability to keep my eyes awake
Lotion on my nose and around my eyes and under my ears
As I slowly move my hands towards you
I don't remember why I ever stopped posting on deviant art

I can't handle this
It's definitely not a turn on
I pull down my tight pink *******    
Sliding them off and tossing them aside
Noticing something happening between my thighs  
Catching me by surprise
I thought it was tommorrow
I clench my fist and scream inside
Stepping into the shower and sitting down in the water




**** it        
I knew I shouldn't have worn those

I thought pichu would kiss me
Jumping up into my hands
            
I guess I held too hard
Watching you fall asleep in my arms

The only thoughts to express
The emotions I have for me
Are not thought to exist
True as they should sound
Would you love me
If I said it out
Loud? I don't know.
Listen to me, would you ever understand what I'm trying to say without me having to say it?

You said you don't need love anymore
But hey, I need you
When you said that, I fell down on the ground in pain
It was killing me to hear that  
The tears wouldn't leave my eyes  
Even after a year, then a year after that  
I lied and kept it all inside
Then I took a shower that night
Skipping lunch for two days
I answered questions just with "okay"s or "yeah"s
So much blood was shed
Leaving my thighs dark red
I said I was happy without you
I wish that was the reason why

My heart was never really too broken
until I turned 13  
I went from being sad to scared all the time
like a lost bunny left out in the cold
I found myself dreaming less
and if I did dream I had nothing but fear  
during the morning I'd hurt bad
and it got worse every second
but I kept quiet about it because talking doesn't help
Sometimes my heart hurt so bad
that I lost control of my tears
I lay on the floor and try to get up
while fighting the urge to die
Some days are not bad
some days are borderline suicide
then there are days where I scream into my pillow so loud and hard
I start to cry uncontrollably then get very very down
It feels like a super volcano is constantly erupting inside my chest
not allowing me to breathe anything but fire and pain
the room gets very hot and I feel so numb
that I start cutting words into my skin "**** me please!"
Sometimes just holding the knife helps when I'm having an insane panic attack
so does running 'til it hurts
my heart feels better when I'm next to you
I'm not really sure why I can't have you
it causes so much pain for me
I'm at my breaking point every day
to think positive is impossible
I have no other option but to cut
let the scars heal and try to cry less
anxiety is a battle that's harder to **** than death
but I think nobody cares because this is how you left me.

Right now I’m honestly struggling with my weight  
I hate how I look
I’m always comparing myself to everyone else
to the point where this hole in my heart becomes deeper and deeper
I don’t have what she has
my ***** are too big
my stomach is disgusting and gross
I can’t wear anything without feeling like I'm not right
Sometimes I wish I could stop cutting
so I can be happy with what I have now
I sit in the shower and try to hide underwater
as I cry it all out for an hour or so
I feel like nobody wants me
whenever I go out to school I'm scared for my life
I feel so worthless next to everyone else
so I hide in the halls by myself during lunch    
I wish this knife in my hands would go away        
I hate cutting my body and just want to die
I just wish I was smaller like all other girls I've seen
so I can stop feeling like such a loser all the time

The valley sweat of love's song
left me staring into the distance.
I felt I needed to show the shadows of harps
that grow around my secret
diary  
And I found fire that didn't burn me. 
How can you feel the chemicals reacting behind a word and thought 
And then say that they are just dreams? 
How does one read but feel nothing at all?

A raven, so quiet, 
Sat on a branch outside
For a chance to be.  

The ice made her move,
Her heart beat fast
The other ravens had nothing to say.

The feather in her eyes
Dried out on the pages  
In which she'd silently write.
    
But deep in her dreams,
She knew it would not be..
And gave up on her hope.

Suffocating time
Clocks tick beyond infinity
Beyond our numbers

Your chemical romance
Left my cherry lips, kissed my wrists
Leaving me thunderstruck

Cutting could be an emo's second death, or cutting could be an emo's second chance at life...

Part of me will never forget
for not loving you

But another part                           
feels like you wanted me to
Causing me to   

Part of me was already on the way to the bakery
to find cupcake making supplies

when my reflection appeared, realized you don’t have a sweetheart

Unless the reflection was made with darkness, 
there was no way you would see clearly now 
                                                          
I wonder why you had wanted something else    
when all you love is lost

Thinking you were hoping that I could be there with you
back into the graveyard tracks

so that these echoes
made sense like a song again

I believe things are better now  
but it is like blowing on a candle the days of your life

Definitely not worth it   
though I understand your truths and words left unsaid. 

I would have given you my heart 
within the reflections of a sweet sweet ghost

It’s just that I always thought I would find the one who loves me. 
And I did.
But still I feel myself getting use to living with that blonde hair girl in the mirror.

I tell myself it will be alright
As I sit on my bed
Clutching my hair at the seems
Shaking my fists uncontrollably 
Feeling the hole in my heart run out of my eyes
Knowing once the ice breaks
The dogs will stop barking and clawing at the fences   
That jealousy must Go
Prowling the earth like a tiger in the jungle
I understand what power feels like  
Except my hunger is making me weak

Life tricks you into thinking it's real

I savour suicide itself with a martian flame
And fall right into its valleys of Ett

Don't worry about saying you're sorry,
I've already apologized for you.

I don't say I love you so I can hear it come out of your mouth like a parrot. I say it so there will never be a reason why you should ever think it's not true.

You're not even standing by the tombs of ancient Egypt
and yet
I've made a greater pyramid for the new Atlantis

And no one saw her cutting
They saw echoing mercury bubbles of each other
Within the blue colored shadows that she was created from

It was an ****** thought
Of Milk and Rice Crispies
With a yearning between out eyes
The first time is magic

Dating an emo
is never a good thought:
boys dressed in black,
dark and unimpressed
for butterfly effect,
more emotional than some me
with a shattered heart,
that dream in quantums
and theoretical love physics
of hearts they'll break next.
Silence is a quiver,
suspense is an arrow of ice
but with only one shot,
the tension could break a ghost.

I should have talked about you more
I should not have cried
and said goodbye
But I was only learning how
to be okay, perfect and better
How funny it sounds when you scream
I measured my trust in ice
and saved my money
for something that was never
good for me.

A boy once roasted me
that if I thought of pokemon
the way I thought of reality
my mouth would stop
But loose monsters sink boats
and I was the first girl trainer on the S.S. Anne
for I would rather drown in defeat
than smell him later

What moves me more,
is not your lips,
but under your eyes.

What contacts you take out,
I place back in.

It took me a few months to see that star
And when it shined, it was blackened
from a star to a supernova
So I drank my can of monster
just enough to keep me energized
I wasn't scared of what was out there
or the absence of planets with life
but the chance of seeing another earth looking back at us...

There are two types of guys
Those that look through telescopes, and those who don't
Albert Einstein could undress the universe with a single thought
Your only achievements were in the shadows of that dream

between graceland and never
is a small door
growing up faster than you want,
dead,
into something better.
psychology-
keeping someone too close.
playing with guitar strings, without a loose chord.
love, to question the dream
and never find another
somewhere in destiny, or between eventual and alternate realities.

If pain is pleasure then I don't like it,
I'd rather see red than black.
Set sail on a tea party for double,
with you and the tooth fairy-
wondering which will serve the next dish.