I'm so tired
of having to just sit here
and accept the fact that you barely thought of me all year.
You tell me,
"Don't go, I'd miss you,"
each time my mind wonders.
But I know you're lying.
You know I'm crying.
I've had time to sit and ponder.
I've come to the realization
that I've cried to you multiple times.
But everything you say to me
is rehearsed
and only to be kind.
I've told you almost a million times
of how empty I feel inside.
You cheer me up
and pretend to care.
But if I left,
you'd never cry.
I've told you a million times
that I want to feel damage and pain.
However, if I were to go,
you'd still be completely sane.
I wish that I could tell you
that I love you very much so.
But I know just how that would end up.
It'd end with endless crying
days and weeks in a row.
So now, I'll admit it.
I've reached end of my strength.
I feel so lost, alone, and empty.
This is the end of my days.
I'm so tired.
Exhausted..