Most people get the benefit of the doubt
"Eventually they'll figure it out"
What the helll's that all about?
I'm expected to master it in an instant or I'm out

©2024

I wasn't bred from good stock
Or birthed with any hope of a shot
Can't imagine that coming as a big shock
Couldn't possibly hide the rot
A thick scar dug into both wrists visually express what verbally I could not
Flesh color replaced the black rorschach ink blot
To clarify, a stark reminder was all I got
KO'd after a turned cheek an awful lot
Like knock knock
Who's there?
Just a nobody,
A lowly placeholder of a single census spot

©2024

Don't talk the talk
Won't walk the walk
Insecurities drag me face down around the block
Tearing me down block by block
Paying no mind to MY mock up of MY desired plot

©2024

I couldn't tell you why
Sometimes I don't try
But I'll look you dead in the eye
And swear I can not tell a lie
Which of course, in itself, is always a lie

©2024

Hear ye! Hear ye!
Know me and hear me
Oh but please don't look over here at me
What a thing to say, but see
I don't want to be seen, my plea
It feels kinda cheesy
I thought it'd be easy
But it just got so messy so quickly
And the harder I try the more it eludes me
You can't live a life heard but not seen and not be seen as a cautionary
A tale of a someone broken mentally trying to use hurt and pain creatively
Never taken seriously,
Kinda gimmicky
Ultimately a one trick pony
I know it but it hurts still when it's throw back at me
I can't handle the cheeky hostility
So openly hidden in the commentary
It can't be avoided but it's also not necessary
Maybe this isn't for me
Or what's more likely,
Is it's probably not that bad actually
Ah, gee,
Yeah, nevermind, sorry everybody...
I just noticed it's only my insecurity ripping at me
My apology

©2024

Pain affects immediately, sticks around indefinitely
The headcount is up to sixty over infinity
And right around the corner is another three
Meaning it's always in the vicinity
And every type lands just a smidge differently
This feels like what I might imagine to be purgatory
Woe is me
My future will be winless if I'm too stay in the business of learning from my history
The bell to start the fight indicates the end, just prematurely
Loosing in a victory, contradictory absurdity mentioned literally,
All ***** nilly
As I'm sure you can imagine, maybe even probably agree
Somethin' like that is bound to change the complexion of a personality
I know personally
I'd hoped good days would roll in gradually, at least eventually
Instead they taunt relentlessly
It's with a heavy, often broken, heart I go in and defend half heartedly
Enjoying the savagery, a familiarity that relaxes me
But positions me next to the poisons amidst the pageantry
In the direct line of sight of my worst enemy
Me looking back at me directly
"You're talking to yourself again Jeremy..."
...shiit, sorry

©2024