The fairytale of America
is dead to me
Killed by a ******* in horns
Maybe my veil has simply been lifted
Long has it been so for others
while still others never knew
its comforting shade
A reverence as meaningful now
as that for Santa Claus
Was my faith so brittle so ignorant
Is it still
Seems so
**** I don't know
I need to visit those stones again
let them speak through the cold
They were never silent but
maybe now I won't be deaf to their story
maybe now I'll listen
maybe now

I dreamt he sent
a care package
A shabby box
filled with
wall sconces
from his
******* apartment
half filled tablets
thoughts and doodles
with a note
to not abuse
substances
and a really nice
vinyl pressing of
some nineties
spoken word piece
with one or
another unknown
ska
alt rock
grunge
band
That sure was nice
of him
I must have
sent some good
psychic *****
Spirits
they call it

Razor tucked in the fixture
base

That and the dull-fluorescent-light
stare me
Dead
in the face

Was it put there
just in case?
How did they know to find me here
in this place?

I guess
it's just another convenience
in another
mini-life-space

Little shampoo for your hair
Little soap for your hands
Little lotion for your skin
Little blade for your sins

and a sink in which to
Erase

All just such
a
convenient
little
Waste

I love rambling cacophonies of abstraction words dripping lust plush and velvety sugared in pipe tobacco like Jack Rubys old joint no symbols to trip the flow odd bits of alliteration skipping stones slowly along the rails in legion divergent trains of thought but I am no McCarthy probing the inner turmoil of the Southern mind maybe riding I will tap out a poem about a poet writing poetry God I hate that **** or maybe something referencing my username the song Bad Company off the album Bad Company by the band Bad Company thrice I have called thy name and thus I do bind thee oh well you are what you eat I suppose to which I would usually respond ***** a bit crass maybe pretty ******* too hah **** it its just wordsandshit WordsandotherTrash

Square
Bland
Insubstantial
Brittle

What lies
beyond the fog
of the deepest sleep
The void
vast
black
and
harmonic

I'm not the monkey
that turns her *****

Oh

don't get me wrong
I know how to play
I can make that box sing
But it's not my fingers she wants
on the crank
not my head she wants in
that little red cap
not my lips she wants
puffing the smoke behind the leash
and certainly not my hairy ***
she wants
swaying to the tune

No

only one can
grind those gears
only one can
tinker that barrel
only one can
make her hum
proper and true
But in the end
he's just another one
one of us

     little
          monkey
                      bums

I hate those Voodoo mornings when I cant dig myself out of my own head a relentless quipping chirping anxiety over woulda coulda shoulda wishing I knew better wondering why I dont silent resolutions that evaporate by days end pondering the infinite insignificance of everything that is nothing paranoid that nothing is in fact everything in the doomed hands of a salvation without mercy heavy hearted in the dark waiting for light to peek through the blinds and tell me that its ok to be awake its a lie but thats ok too I guess **** it might as well make the coffee

BUT

I
love
those
hazy
baked
evenings
where
every
thought
is
clarity
or
at
least
the
perception
of
it
guiding
each
seamlessly
to
the
next
and
still
next
after
until
the
next

What is it like
The moonlight on her skin
Surely it must dance
Some spectral movement
A longing that only
The forest would know
Deep secrets whispered
Beneath its bows
Ancient recollections of
Sweet footfalls amid the duff and
Arcane choired reverances
Echoing a covens embrace around
Samhain fires
Charming the spirits arise and
Make light the growing darkness
But time is cruel and
She alone now stands
Testament to the cycle
******* in the dew
Singing the old songs
In the old ways
Enticing that old wood wake and
Take heed the coming dawn

I could have
but didn't
I don't know why
I certainly should have
but I didn't even try
maybe
someday
I'll get around to that thing
someday
but not today
or tomorrow
perhaps not ever

**** it
I suppose

why not live the lie
and regret it
until the day I die

1.5 oz Bulleit Rye
0.5 oz Gallo Extra Dry Vermouth
0.25 oz Mezzetta Olive Juice
3 dashes Angostura Bitters
Stir with
3 cold Mezzetta Garlic Stuffed Olives
on a Frankie's swizzle

Drink this and remember me
It is the depth of my sorrow
The shallowness of my pain
The blood of my anger
My testament
Bear witness
to the sins of my father
Writ in the ugliness of me
Drink this and shudder
It is my undoing
The unraveling of light
A consummation of the dark

Drink this and remember me

Humpty Trumpty
sat on his wall
bleating and blathering,
condemning us all.

"I know the way,
I'm better than you,"
Tweeted he every night
over his golf course view.

"I don't care for
Mexicans,
Muslims,
and not so much
Jews...
Well, at least not the Dems and
those on the
'news'.

I prefer instead
those painted orange,
like me,
in fine Italian shoes.

I'm the President now,
I decide
if the sky stays blue...
not the the artists or the scientists...
and certainly not
you.

I'll make this Country great again!
You'll see,
I know what to do!
Put your faith in me,
a 'Billionaire'!
I promise,
I'll tell you true!"

Hollered he up high,
his chubby fingers crossed,
as his great jowels blubbered,
and his voice quaked with frost.

"I wonder," thought I,
reading his alternate 'facts' of the day,

"Maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy
if his daddy had loved him more,
or at all,
or maybe,
just maybe,
if his fat greedy hands
weren't so
*******
small."

on the slow train
out of my mind
listening
to the slow rain
of my decline

Pope John Paul II
maybe
Johnny P the Deuce
(to his friends)
empassions an Easter sermon
years before the Passion
or millennia after
to Jane Fonda
feathered red and nicotine stained
watching the city burn
one
station wagon
at
a
time

I want to cover the bathroom walls in vintage framed prints of Europe Really class the ******* up a bit with street scenes of Notre Dame and Westminster Abbey After I die they will remove the prints to find the spaces between yellowed with age or wonder if I just ****** on the walls over the years A little probably but not that high up I am not a savant But perhaps I am That would be cool Something to hang my hat on A story for the generations That old man really was something

The Reds won by turning capitalism and democracy against us The frenzied shortsighted pursuit of individualism enraptured by its own grandiosity Obese in arrogance and false piety Among our weakest links the myth of liberty in the guise of protection against our own From My Cold Dead Hands they will eulogize the depths of our hypocrisies tucked into the gaping cracks of a marbled column tombstone that reads We the People a hollow echo from a dead philosophers guilded mirror reflecting delusions of equality while his window glimpsed the reality of People bound as chattle An era of monsters championed as heritage by a devolved theater of gross absurdity enraptured by a sycophantic maelstrom swirling a wretched mass of vitriolic grievance creeping its facists tendrils through our halls our homes and our hearts So much bluster about essential freedoms now a **** in the wind from a constituency of the ignorant dead eyed before the altar of Exceptionalism A manifestion of the truly unexceptional by a bizarre cult of personality devoid of that very essence Whiny and bloated convinced its oily opulence is somehow self evident justification for its own cavernous gluttony Heavy the privileged jowels spew hatred and lies slathered in corruption shouted as truth through the arcanity of scripture among those who would not know the forest from the trees from the rot in their minds as long as it says so on the TV vomiting endless propaganda of imagined shadow forces flooding the country with fictionalized caramel colored criminals Willingly blind barrelling into a fog of twisted fantasy failing to realize that the narcos envisioned pale by comparison of heinous intention or deed to the very real NARCs embraced Lockstep and jackboot heel in tow behind a tide of Nationalism that is anything but A contrived patriotism cannibalizing its own mythology whittling the bones of history to alternate facts devoured by fat children as so much sugary cereal bored reading the Constitution from the back of a whitewashed cardboard box ******* about a return to values and integrity they never possessed with their fingers crossed Cowing to the blackened whims of spineless parasitic wraiths picking at the shades of fallen titans Packs of roving dipshits trumpeting ideals their grandfathers died to eradicate Prancing about sporting the finest camo and tac gear in a perverse sashay Their measure of civic duty reduced to how much red white and blue crowds their shitstained boxers dowsed in cheap beer and sad rivulets of encrusted ***** trickled in a shame for which they have yet to fully account or atone Fools leading the foolish to oblivion are we God bless the USA for surely no creature under heaven would

As we usher in a new Dark Age giddy at the prospect of renewed ignorance where faith in absurdity lights the way and opinion is fact if it's shouted loud and long and our plagues descend not from evolving microorganisms but vengeful spirits aloft and doctors become the spiteful magicians next door I find myself curious who first will burn for the sake of reality?

Confucius say...you can't fix stupid, *******, everyone burn.

armchair patriots
fair weather
brothers in arms
foxhole liberalists
will fight for your
freedom
but not if you ask
not if you really need
liberation
and
only if
the financials
square
and
the fiduciaries
concur
and
you know
the polls are
favorable

Funny
I thought
McConnell's lips
would have been
orange

Shower beer
shower beer
my kingdom for
a shower beer

My kingdom is
a shower and a bed
yup
just a shower and a bed
in this
podunkshitholenowhere
******* town

But I'm suds'n up
while suds'n down
making my frown
turn
up
Up
UP-side down

Nothing better
nothing aside
from her
peachy little mound
nothing better in this
fuckedupdownandoutdingy
******* Desert town

Never astray
have I been steered
nope
not by a shower beer
no indeed
no tears have I shed
no siree
no life have I bled
no not me
no ill will have I ever bred

no
not on account
of
a shower beer

A wise pope once said
a man's ambition
must indeed be small
to write his name
upon a ******* wall

But for want of superstition
and tales told tall
I'll play that ancient game
....right after my last call

Preluding my expiration
just before the fall
I'll seek the Devil's fame
and inscribe that ***** stall

By hook, by crook,
or explosive indigestion
Every nook, every sideways look
shall bear my ugly shame
For what better eulogy book
than that old ******* wall
That great temple of the read

I'm tired
of those nights
staring out behind
my eyelids
across the cold horizon
of reality
The bleakness of a future
dying twilight
twinkling
at the break
Nothing but
impossible choices
and hard truths
breaking the visage
Thoughts of tomorrow
and eternity
intertwined
like
Dark Lovers
screaming
the ecstasy of a
shared doom
in their embrace
on the distant shore
The reverberations
of their
passion
ricocheting
through my skull
in a constant dull
hum
Christ
that **** really *****

There's an abstraction
to the story of the road
Moments of clarity
stitched together
behind blurry eyes
yarning the tale
Legion threads
of asphalt
singeing
singing
a web
of need
and desire
Backlit reflections
of headlights in chrome
Eyes behind eyes
guiding the way
nowhere
and
everywhere

round the corner
lay a folly
whose folly
reads
immortal
time
immemorial
the asp
great coiling
wispy
and
ignorant

Can't cut through
Lost my even keel
Just blackness below
and sharks at heel
Could tread forward
Rather flip the wheel
Run her aground
Taste the bite of the steel
Let the waves crash over
and the chain unreel
Until the deep takes me whole
and I can no longer feel
The grip of the truth
and the horror of the real
I'd like my mind to fade
maybe
give it some time to heal

Another day
trudging a
blistered shitscape
shuffling a
burning hellscape
tripping a
melted fuckscape

Mars or
the 40
there is
no escape
I need
that pay

There are
corners for
open secrets
as in
a dream

Adolescence
cast
in long
brutal
shadows
by a waning
midday
light

Scents
of bound
whispers
echoing
through
the stacks

The promise
of fantasy
in reality
amid the
fading
week's
end

she left her boots
by the door
dying
she killed a piece of me
on that floor
crying
doesn't seem to do any good
not anymore
idling
the day writing
maybe strumming
a few chords
trying
to move through
not past
and my best
not to score
plying
the pages
I'll pen a few lines
and a few lines more
and a few lines more
and a few lines more

because there is no truth
not in ending
not by
the door

What colors are the stars?
I asked her,
a spectrum of
twinkling hues
cast against the
ceiling,
blinking from
the beast's shell.
What magic she must perceive
behind her eyes?
Ancient stories
wrought in the fabric
of her DNA,
distant memories
ages old
of times around
the fires.

I would be
Savage
but
Meticulous
take my time
Explore
Peel
back to the
Workings
I would need
to see
the soul
Rip
Savor
the gasp
of the end
Would it be
enough

A true
Banana Republican
he claims
fraudulent results
due to
American intervention

That's the place
they would wash
their dead
Prepare them
for what comes next
The lands
beyond
I guess
Now we drill for it
bottle it
put wells
in their
cemeteries
Seems we're
thirsty for their
ghost water
Need a taste
of that
poltergeist pool

I need a Bleh Book

Somewhere to dump the random cacaphony of **** ricocheting against
the thinning vault of my skull like a prison yard handball

Nowhere to go but in perpetual motion nonetheless

Drolly counting a cadence without the revelry of enlightenment or the hope of release

What should be pearls of wisdom precipitously condensed by the weight of time within an elegant carapace formed under the irradescent glow of a witches moon are just chili seeds gathering dust
in an old septic tank rusting under a dimming streetlight in an Albuquerque back alley

Hard kernel remnants of rellenos long since evacuated

Maybe this is it
My book

So
Bleh *******

You
are
welcome

I think what I liked most was that she
liked me or seemed to for a time Elegance manifest tall and slim red pixied hair cool and chic another word for elegant

you get the point

She was magic between the sheets they dripped imbued with her I began to believe that she loved the idea of me as much as I loved the idea of her

But

We had agreed it was just a moment The city called it needed her I knew it

she was made for it

And yet the want it called it needed that high Insecurity and vanity won out or just grew until the butthurt set in

And we ended

All things pure are ruined by
butthurt boys

Entombed in plastic and million dollar magnets a marvel of medical magic mines my mind for defects little pearlescent pearls of impending numbness and degeneration generated by rogue proteins surging through my spine an overwhelming force indiscriminately seeking targets shooting first and never asking
questions

I did it
I helped her
get it

How did
you do it

I listened to Ministry
and licked goat ***
and made incantations
to Martha Plimpton
Queen of my ******
and thereby gained
unnatural powers
through
a demonic deviant
Fallen
among the fallen
Asmodeus
I think
The ability to
dematerialize and
materialize and
spirit
my ***** sinners
to murderous intent

What was it
What kind

The goat
Anatolian Black
I think

No
Male or Female

Does it matter
when youre licking
goat ***

This all true

Yes
it is
absolutely true
All goat ***
tastes the same
Jourgensen
will back me up
on that

It is
also possible
I just drove them

my Sisters
my Mothers
my Daughters
my Friends

It is
after all
the very least
I could have done

Far be it from me
To complexify the issue
By propulgating wrongery
Less I subterfuge
My untentions
Toward wittery
And ashoe
Refudiation

Macrame for days
cruising in tubes
and fannypacks
on Caddy couches

Ash in Pepsi cans
dogs n mac
and
floral print velour
meant love

A onetwo on
Soda Popinsky
and locust
husks
on the old
walnut tree
were the
****

New Topps
new Jos
new Raisins
air conditioning
and the smell of the
rain

Reality is
most real
at 0300
**** the
Witch of November
that dizzy *****
ain't got ****
on the
titanocunt of the morning
angel
The proverbial Kong
to our collective
Denzel
That hag
cuts cold
cuts pure
like the
fine Colombian
of
fabled yore
Cuts deep
through the hazy
procastinatory fog
of the day's
delusional din
Hey Nineteen
ye
I remember you too
Sleep tight
you Simple Minded
sonofabitch
And
don't you
don't you
forget about me
'Cause I'm acomin'
comin' 'round that corner
with
Krueger claws
and krugerrands
'Cause this old man
is definitely
too old for
this ****

Mostly
he'd just
like to
sleep

I do not think he would
begrudge a wine tinted
smudge on the page
a blush of the blushest blush
akin to the blood of life
the cup that is filled and overfloweth
blood into wine
the Book's little innuendos
coyly writ for the quiet amusement
of chastened monks
Christ what a waste
not the man mind you
the Word
the words
lost in the compounded
ignorance of millenia
I prefer them stained red
honest on back-lit pages
Who
after all
could begrudge honesty
History it seems

the cold
reality
of a painted wall
usually just a blur
in the backvision
but sometimes
you look close
focus
see the chips
the old paint jobs
the smudges
the stains
and sundry
ad nauseam
shadowed light
texturing
the otherwise
inert
to show
fiery grotesque
demons
wings ablaze
or malicious eyes
watching
what those eyes
may have seen
may best
to have been
lost
to history
perhaps
the best
are
wonder which
are not
fights
drunken pleas
bad ***
sad ***
no ***
sleepless nights
certainly a lot of
ESPN
perhaps
perhaps this
is the
last place
I will ever
sleep

I miss her
Where did she go
Her voice
The calm
Her glow
The sway of her hips
Hypnotic and slow
A classic bit of
to and fro
I assume we all eventually
took our toll
Too many wanted a piece
Just a little too much of
her soul
Wore her thin
Blocked her magic
Devoured her flow
I hope she's happy out there
Maybe somewhere
in the snow
Strange to
miss someone you don't
really know
I just miss her
sometimes
That's all I
really know

It's just a
matter of
clever simplicity
or
simple clevericity
said I to she
It's more a
question of
earnest felicity
and
abstract electricity
said she to me
though we both
could agree
*******
is
*******
however masked
implicitly

can you
imagine
betwixt
the paint
the ****
the ****
and
the Blow
blown away
lay
a Basquiat
a SAMO quote
in Sharpied SAMese
or a Warhol can
wryly scribbled
while getting
blown
in the can
for a good time
call
Todd

I bought
one of
his first editions

He would
have preferred
that I spent it
at the track

We all disappoint

Hey you
don't you
Hide and Seek
in my driveway
don't play there
don't you
drive there

I'll have to
put a bullet in
you

Hey you
don't open
my car door
don't you
sit there
don't you
dare

I'll have to
put a bullet in
you

Hey you
don't knock
at my
house door
don't you
put your
hand there
don't you
dare
touch
there

I'll have to
put a bullet in
you

I don't like
you
I'm scared of
you
And since I can't
put IT in
you

I'll have to put
a bullet in
you

Well whiskey and a Rock Springs girl,
in one Cowboy Bar or another,
waiting for the ceiling to swirl.
She says she wants to be a mother,
I just want to see her toes curl,
but I wonder if it's worth the bother.

She's lost herself to the endless wind,
thinks anywhere else must be better.
Feels her life's been pinned,
to the tail of an *** unfettered.

I don't want to tell her,
there isn't any place better.
Same **** everywhere you go,
tempered hard and stupid slow.

It's with whom you take the ride,
but God knows she's tried.
Just one ******* after the other,
and I sure as **** ain't a father.

I'll just sit with her awhile,
hope she adds me to the pile.
A drifter liar and her next mistake,
busy working the rigs for my own big break,

until my life's been pinned,
to the tail of an *** unfettered.

People want clarity
not truth
The resolution of
confusion
whether or not
resolution
reflects
reality
If the threshold for
resolution
is just enough
to whet
the mind
then the interpretation
becomes
fact
becomes
reality
becomes
so
Besides
what is our reality
if not
an interpretation
wrought by
the mind

**** bottles
and
mummified diapers
countless
broken bottle shards
twinkling among
innumerable more
road beer remnants
long since tossed
hubcaps
random
other bits
of chrome
license plates
and the odd
abandoned
*******
America the Beautiful
echoes with
each passing
semi
laden with the
necessaries of
capitalist progress
and
good
old
Christian
morality
shining bright
in the tears
of the
bypassed Native
crooked crosses
and
plastic flowers
mark and
memorialize
those lost
to the pursuit
of the
dream

She dances
a demon's tinder
through a voice
not her own
purring Appalachia
as if born to it

But it's not the voice I hear
I hear how it was

Sounds and sights
twenty years gone
on those streets
on that railing
through those halls
in that cold

She's in other halls now
on other tracks
down other roads
warm and shadowed
by a different
firelight

Did she change
certainly
Did I
doubtful

Maybe
I just never
really knew
her
voice