I am who I am
But I am not you
We may look alike
But I am not you
I will only ever be me
Which is a complicated thing
I see through my eyes
And not through yours
It's plain to see
But I'm blind you see
I am who I am
But I am not you
Who am I

I layed without her
She whispered to me hopes and dreams
Like Paris where she wanted to be
She said it had to be
And with only me

"Do you see my words,
I wrote them in hopes to make
Your day"

"Did you dream of me?
In your sleep, you hear
My quiet voice"

But I never saw those words
Dream of her
I tossed and turned
Bit my tongue
Wrote my stories
Yet I did not sleep

My days are hectic
But I make room
Dream
Paris
See her words

Behind your shadow,
I stand and fall.
It's a tough battle,
In which I feel so small.
My feelings toward you
you might think are dumb.
Sad, upset, confused,
angry, hurt, and numb.
When I needed a mom,
you were not there
to talk about boys
or to fix my hair.
Yes, you did call,
every once and a while,
but an ocean of tears
hides behind this smile.
Tormented, trapped, and torn,
my heart says I feel.
Seven years after I was born
my heart won't start to heal.
I see other girls
laugh with their moms,
I go dizzy with swirls,
and crash like a bomb.
The anger in me
rages in fright,
always staying angry,
I just think I might.
Time heals everything,
I don't think that's true,
I know something
time did not do.
Time has been flying.
For a long while
I've always been trying
to show a real smile.
One thing that hurts,
and I don't know why,
you moved far away,
and it makes me cry.
When I think about this,
to myself I lie,
I've gotten over you,
that I would not try.
You are a mother,
a mother of two,
me and my Sister.
We hardly know you.
Every night I think
of how my life could have been,
tears run down my face,
and my world starts to spin.
These past few years
have been really hard.
For the rest of my life
I'll be severely scarred.
It took me time to realize
what you did to me.
Tears in my eyes,
and you're clueless it seems.
I try to be brave,
it really hurts.
You could have stayed,
instead of making it worse.
I want you to know this,
it's sad but it's true,
you hurt your little girl,
and your other girl too!
You ruined me,
you made me cry,
you really hurt me,
and to laugh I try.
There is a hole in my heart
the doctors don't see.
I guess they don't know
what my mommy did to me.
If you want me back,
you have to prove
you can be a mom
to me and Brittanie, too!
When I screamed for you,
did you hear a sound?
I guess you didn't,
because you were never around.
I will tell you something
you cannot forget,
once you hurt your kids,
it will soon come to regret.

Typical Teenagers
Happy, sad, sleepy, mean,
Feelings often change,
a common act of a typical teen,
I find it rather strange.
Talking to a friend,
or sending them a text,
they talk for hours on end, what'll they think of next.
They'll leave their room a mess
and give cleaning it a miss,
but yes I must confess to also doing this.
They think their folks are ancient, and utterly unfair,
the result is to ignore them,
before they start to swear.
Their music cracks the ceiling, and makes their parents fume, emotions always reeling,
and more time in their room.
Being a teen may seem pretty bad,
but from experience I can tell,
it's much worse for the mum and dad,
for them its living hell!

Take a look at me
&
Tell me what you see
Do you see my forceful smile
The smile that hides so many secrets
or
Do you see the tears in my eyes
The eyes that once took into much evil

Do you see my heart
The heart that holds hurt & shame inside
or
Do you see my skin
The skin that holds scars of pain

Do you hide my secrets
Do you see the evil
Do you feel my hurt, my shame
or
Do you see my scars

So take a look
&
Tell me what you see

Why do you show,
an interest in me?

I'm dumbfounded!
In a world not of my own,
will our minds work together?

You're in search of someone,
all to square...
Yet you've found me?

My perception of the world
is contorted and skewed.

Your words so sweet!
They bring me to my feet,
As I learn to walk.

I'm choking down my self worth,
why are the ropes to far away;
Can't you throw farther?
I was set up, why can't you see?
Why must I plea;
Look! I'm down on my knees.
I've worked so hard,
And come too far...
Just to have this pure
Essence of light,
Tarnished.
You will NOT succed!
I wont have it!
The world doesn't DARE
Tear us from each other...

SO . WHY.  WOULD . YOU.

answer meme you spineless fiend!

For as we lay
Together in tangled arms
To regret the land that's too far
Waiting to grasp any hope
Us finding a way to cope
Love is a difficult thing
Never the less it clings
But you are the blinding light
In my no longer dark night
So run away with me
For our fate will see

What an imposibility,
two souls laying in one body...
One to stay the other settel.
The conflict that would take place in their mind,
a battle to which only one could win...
But would the other be missed; or even remembered?

My heart rasing
body quivering
my anxiaty rising
I need someone
to calm me down
but I can't say it
I'm tearing up
I wipe my eyes
but more fall
they look at me
my breath ragged
I feel like I'm gonna die
help me
please
can you see
my frightened words
as I scream
can you hear
my scared voice
Through my eyes

Lovely and dark
angel you be
take me away
to a world of glee.

Don't you fill my head with hope.
I've come to far, cried for to long.
'Cause it's inevetable...
You'll never keep your word,
Because to me it means NOTHING.

I was born in a family
where nobody cared...
I left there by force!
Scar'd by things, I WON'T forget.
(Anxiety & Tragidy)
My mind is ******.
To see my past-----
I'd never wish you luck,
Then I'd scream!
"It's all there fault"
and lastly,
Dead girls don't talk.

I remember that time,
when the power went out.
But you found a magic cord,
that you streached from our house to another.
You acted sketchy... But I didn't know.

I remember that time,
when it was late;
I was hungry.
But the bad man was lazy and I fell asleep without it.
I woke earlier in the day,
wandering into your room.
You were both asleep,
with dinner cold in your room... I didn't know.

I remember the time,
when you and the bad man would fight.
He would make me yell words to you,
that made you cry... I didn't know.

I remember that time,
when the brother I hate;
touched me.
You confused me,
made me think it was a dream... And I didn't know.

Hi mom,
I exist.
Despite what you think;
your little girl that lived in your tummy,
walks this earth!
Wandering with a scense of ABANDONMENT-----
Asking herself
(Where's mom?)
and
(Why doesn't she care?)
Then I get angry,
screaming till my lungs give way.
(!!!AM I NOT THE DAUGHTER YOU WANTED!!!)
Am I even a memory or a fading shadow,
left in the depths of your lost N' sorry mind.
So don't expect me to mourn your death.
'Cause all thats left in my heart for you is HATE and WRATH.

I rise against,
the forces inside me.
They tug and pull,
trying to hide me.
But,
what is there to fear?
I don't want
anyone there!
'Cause you see,
I don't REALLY care.

People make me nervous.
Don't ask why,
'cause I can't explain.
But they make my hair stand on end,
when they walk my way.
I start to steadly shake and quiver,
as their body brushes against mine...
I hope they just say hi and take their leave.

My insomnia is getting to me,
seeing things that should only exist;
in my dream relm.

I wonder,
can the people around me see them too?
...No, or they'd be screaming too.

There skin is soft as it is plush,

the shade of pink

when I make them blush.

They giggle and smile

when I touch there hand.


Oh how I love,

the way the fall for me...

with such grace.

Hi. I'm human.

I make a lot of mistakes.

I'm hard-headed.

Assumptious.

Emotional.

Human.

I say things I don't mean,

And I mean things that I don't say.

I'm very curious., yet I fear the unknown.

I display all of my vices and conceal all of my virtues.

I get in my own way.

I'm human.

I am very unique, yet completely ordinary.

I lose interest in things quickly,

Yet stick with others 'til the end.

I'm loyal, yet promiscuous.

I want it all, but I'm happy where I am.

I'm quick to love amd slow to hate.

Well... Most of the time.

I am shoot first and ask questions later.

Well... sometimes.

I believe that there is a being greater than I.

And, no, I don't mean Beyonce.

I believe that science s a way to explain religion.

I believe in magic.

I'm Human.

I'm a bit sociopathic,,,

A bit crazed...

A bit depressed...

...but still lovable.

I'm very lonely,

but prideful and independent.

I'm desperate for love and need a good hug.

I'm human.

I'm stressed about the small things and

Lax about the big.

I set goals I never work towards,

And pass up opportunities that were thrown at me.

I stand up for what I believe-

Even if it's just in my imagination.

I want to fit in.

I want to stand out.

I'm a walking contradiction.

I'm human.

I have been stripped of my innocence and ****** into the real world.

I am given questions that I cannot answer.

I am given choices that aren't mine to decide.

I work through the hard times,

And pray for rain.

I have little faith in myself, though I would support my kin to the end.

I detest the atrocities of life,

And then add to their fuel.

But, I'm human.

I submerge myself in material things so that I don't have to face the terror that is our Earth.

Not the Earth of nature,

But the Earth of OUR creation.

I do stupid things, and ignorantly stand by them.

I do smart things, and stupidly apologize for them.

I have attitude-

PLENTY of it-

But maybe not the right type.

I'm human.

I defy the laws I have created.

I live to die.

Sunrise to Sunset.

I am NOT infinite.,,

,,,

,,,

,, ,And that scares me.

Because i'm human,

I am not limitless.

I push my own boundaries,

And orance on the border of sanity.

And

I

Love

It.

I'm human.

So my lies come easy but my truths are hard.

I'm scared of the dark,

Since it screams the truth.

I embrace thelight and oush the unwanted into it's shadows.

I want life to be eventful,

but I don't ever wanna lesve my bed.

I laugh.

I cry.

And panic.

And rejoice.

Bacause I am human.

100% ****-sapien.

And this. Is. Me,

We, as poets

we fear the tangible

our fingers have lost the ability to

touch, to

feel

from

nights spent clutching our pens

from

unclenching our fists

from

peeling our

fingertips away from the ones we cannot afford to lose.

From pressing the familiar lines of our

palms together while looking

up past the cracked ceiling

up past the cloud that Darius calls

God

We, as poets, do not believe in a

heaven, for

Purgatory

is so sweet

I want to make a giant splash,

not just a couple ripples.

I'll leave people soaked and stunned

at what I have done, for the better of

our crazy world.



I want to create an ocean,

not a small puddle.

People will swim in my legacy,

and remember how I tried to be my best.

I will not be forgotten with time.

I want to be Niagra Falls,

not just a couple of raindrops.

People will stand in my glory,

and reach out a hand

just to feel all the good I try to do.



I want to be someone's sun,

not just another star.

I want to impact millions of lives

in the most positive way I can,

but wehen it comes to the people

that are nearest to my heart,

I want to shine brighter than anything

else in their world.

Even after I've passed away,

they'll still see and need me

for them to survive each day.

“My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains”
my mind as I sit in my overgrown grassy field.
I lie back, and look at the last rays of sunlight,
glimmer across the green leaves of the trees,
that creep up behind me in their sneaky ways.
My head is throbbing as silent tears slip down,
unseen by anyone other than the stars in dark,
my pale cheeks, and my messy, knotted hair.
I curl up in a ball on my side in the blackening night.
I hold my arms tightly around myself, desperately,
trying to keep from completely falling apart.
My choked sobs echo in the woods that reach,
comfortingly, out to me. I am tempted to go;
to climb into my favorite tree, settle in my place,
and just lie there forever-until unconsciousness
becomes my lonely eternity. Animals, insects,
and bugs are dead silent while I cry myself to sleep,
in the soft, caring grass, and my final wish,
before I go under, is that it hadn’t been him;
it hadn’t been me, and that everything would
be back to normal, and it was nothing but,
a sad, frightening, horrible, impossible dream.

There is an cry ever once in a while that suddenly dies down. The tears have vanished away. The battle wasn’t over,their just wasn’t any fight left. There is no way you’re able to be richin gold in reality your nothing but dust waiting to be blown away.

The dark colored clouds block your eyesight. You wonder where did you go wrong. Your filled with so much despair you can’t find peace within yourself. Your useless, alll you’ve every wanted was someone to love. But in the end who loves you in reuturn? Who hears your cires when your abandond  and worthless to yourself?

The mystery doesn’t fade not does the pain crumbles. In the depth of solitude the most outrageous thoughts allign inyour head. Just the thought of a blade slicing through your skin, you begin to  feel whole. You cut deeper to endure this lifeless pain.

Thoose sleepless nights you prayed for help and shelter maybve even love with some type of appreciation. I’ll wish to be stricken blind then to see myself commit such a crime. I’m a prisoner of my own thoughts. Pacing back and forth wondering when it’ll stop.

What happen to a sudden grace , a personal place let alone to be treated as a shut out disgrace. There is no love. I dread having the memory of living once more,  to feel like thereis anything that can’t be done. Who’s crying out for you? Nobody cares enough to even scream your name.



Your nothing but dust waiting to be blown away but then your only human.

Every step I take makes me downfall. Every inch of air I breathe makes me disgusted to be here. I can’t bare captivity. I can’t seem to redeem myself from what was taking from my grasp. The opportunity awaits me to be free . So I’ll walk with me while still perserving my soul

The battle I’m facing has come to an end. This passion for death has suddenly descend. No more weeping sorrows of another one’s untruthfully borrows. No more escaping thoughts as though they intruded my pain and made them linger on further.

Who am I to hold on to the past these dried up tears and this red puffy face. Every one looking down at my misfourtune. Well look again im slowly risen and gaining my purpose. No more saying to myself that this was meant to happen.I’m made to be strong and live by faith.looking in the eyes of the ones that denied me, betrayed me, and mislead me.

My past shall not lead me nor misguide me into the wrong path. Nothing is more unbearable then fighting myself. I’m not alone anymore. I shall love once again and be treated as a human in the end.

I have found my purpose to succeed I am more than what you believe but I am only human you may accept me or be left over in my past in the dying end. I’m only human and no one is perfect.

I am stuck.
Not by choice
but rather simply by consequence.


I am
too young and too old
too shy and too bold
too anxious and too calm
too busy and too bored


I'm not sure how I got here.
I'm not sure if I am here
or if I'm in-between one place
and the other
stuck in limbo.


The space between
this one metaphysical place
and the other
laughs at me.


It knows
I can’t be
bothered
to move,
because I don’t
know how.


So I am stuck
between one and the
other
but still
nowhere near
the happy medium.

when you feel me,
you become an artist.
shattered thoughts rolling off your tongue
making you taste the blood that made you a warrior.

my presence is the rain
forcing you to stay inside where it feels like there are too many mirrors,
waiting for you to unveil who you are despite efforts.

you see, happiness is just a ****.
it grows and climbs whenever it may wish,
wherever it wants.
but I, have roots.
and purpose.
and the intention to make you see
that you cannot pull me from the depths of this earth.
I will grow and grow and make my presence unforgettable.
and the fruits of my soul will be beautiful,
don't be fooled by dips or curves or imperfection
because the milk of this earth flows in valleys.

I am that look of disappointment from your father,
I am scraping your insides and rattling your bones
until that person you never thought existed comes out,
I am fire rolling off tears,
I am the sound of scribbles in the dark,
I am the soundtrack to the life living beneath the sheets,

but I am also your best friend.
I will make sure that though it feels as if your bones are cracking,
your ribs stay intact to protect your heart.
I will show you
that though I seem unpleasant,
the best things in life don't come wrapped in pink bows,
because you certainly didn't.
you came onto this planet with blood and pain
and you challenged the machinery of our own bodies for your creation.
so stop labeling me
as evil or pure,
wrong or right,
wanted or unwanted,
and just feel.

I guess I will do something like homework.
Purposeful, delivered with instructions – to be completed.

But I cannot forget those shadows on the building nearby.
The way the sky does not know whether or not to be blue
or cloudy.
So it rests on the roofs in order to
contemplate its decision.
I remind him to breathe – as well as I.

There, that helps.

Now we can follow the linear direction of the telephone wires.
Train tracks in the expanse. They allow for geometrical
and purposeful
sense to be made of it all.

****. They led me right to the clock!
How could they?
The time I did not need.
Why did my eye follow that line so faithfully?

Now those minutes that I lost and forgot all line up outside my door.
Waiting to be counted and named. But I cannot go to the door and let them in.
There just isn't enough room in this small apartment!

So I sit in my chair, perfectly consumed by book.
Yet I do hear them shuffling and muttering and shifting outside
making room in the hall as newcomers arrive.

Every once in a while, a particularly insistent one will ring that buzzer.
A delusion that his interval remains
very pressing and must not be missed.

Soon enough
I think
I will post a check-in list up on the door
maybe they can schedule appointments.
Then they will see just how busy I am.
Unfortunately I cannot now
I can only wait for the evening when they give up for the day and clear out.

Because, if I opened that door even a crack to slide the paper through, one or two would manage to slip by. I might even be risking the lot of them piling up on the door until I just couldn't hold it up any more and they would all clamber and fall in, one on top of the other (none are very considerate or patient) and I just wouldn't be able to stop them! Can you imagine the mess they'd make in here?

I did just sweep the floors.

Inequalities of this fed up society

i won't stay silent
i won't sit down
i will fight
i will stand
i will scream and I will shout.
to all you haters
who think I'll give up
you're wrong
when you tell me to shut up I'll just get louder
louder
louder.
because the words that you say echo on my face
right here and right now
it's you who makes my skin crawl

you ask me the same question six different times
you accuse me of loving a girl
as if I've committed a crime

i have one foot in the closet and one foot out
but you rip my world apart
you make me want to slide back in
you make me beg and plead that this isn't me
i beg to be a somebody, somebody other than me

just to be straight
you make me want to be straight

i try and deny it
i tell myself it's a phase
i tell myself that it's okay
that I just have to hide away
hide from the gay
but it doesn't work that way
those are your words that I say

you say “f" without a second of thought
as anger bubbles in my blood
do you realize what those words mean?
do you realize what you're saying?
Are you listening?
you pretend it's joke
but it maddens me
and now that I'm mad you tell me to chill
But NO!
you don't comprehend the words I'm trying to say
the voice I'm trying to speak
i don't need you to have rainbows on you walls
but could you at least try and respect me?

your eyes pop out
and your tone insults
proud that you've brought me down
I force myself to clench my teeth
Try and breathe
because what you said directly hurts me
your words just **** me
and it isn't funny.
Respect.
don't think that's in your vocabulary

while you laugh at me
i fight for the rights of people that are lacking
as you try and tell me who I have to be
but I will not fit the mold that you have made me

you think I'm a freak
cuz I go to GSMC every single week
you don't understand the deeper meaning
that is hidden behind those four letters
it's a safe place
an escape from you
people who understand
it's 40 minutes that save me
when you try and drown me

yes, I'm wearing a men's shirt.
you get mad cuz you think it's too baggy
but f**
i don't dress for you
i dress for me
please
my biology doesn't have to correlate
with the clothes that are covering me

I'm done with you
I'm proud of who I am
I'm proud of what I do
I refuse to fit this society's dumb rules
I'll break these stereotypes every single chance I get
I'm just me
maybe a little more masculine than you want me to be
but that's me
throw me labels all you want
but I really don't need you to be my label maker
i am not a container of strawberries
sitting in your refrigerator.
I am a human being

you do not understand
what hiding behind a closet is like
struggling to find an identity
as you try and crush me
Hell no, it's not easy

it's the 21st century
but we still fighting for human beings?
Human beings
that's it
Are we still not equal?
someone explain to me
the nonsense of this ******* up society
why can't you embrace our diversity?
i am me, only me
I will not apologize for being me
But you could apologize for hating on me
and not just me
but an entire community
because I am done with your bigotry

pale, bitter agony, sweet ordered chaos, vague awareness, dead to the world, unable to wake yet unable to sleep, hopelessly happy, wanting to be in the limelight, yet to shy to take center stage. Teach me how how to live and I'll teach you how to fly.

so this is where all the dreaming takes me
to a cold, empty reality
with sleep still in my eyes
shivering, confused, I must’ve overslept
now it’s time to wake up
one last yawn, then face the lies
I’m barefoot and the streets are rough
paved with broken glass
but that’s okay
’cause the land is flowing
with milk and honey
bread and butter
and justice
if you just keep on going ...

i.

Witness the greatest horror
of my life;
first person view
bears illusions
I have control.

My life
spins uncontrollably
each emotion swallowed
within vicious whirlpools of
my existence;
like a sinking ship.


ii.

My words are a bayonet,
tearing large infectious wounds
in the hearts of those,
that once loved me.

I am a sadist;
enjoying every solitary slice I rip
from them,
and
their screams,
serenade my ears.

it completes me.

iii.

My soul stares in trepidation
disfigured with every affliction,  
I inflict upon others.

these skeleton wrists and
scare-crow ankles are strapped
to the water board,
built by my uncontrollable anger.

Forced to watch my body's new host,
destroy the temple it has invaded.

The thunder screamed
And the stream flowed on silently
The rain thudded and flooded
And the water spilled
Out like the words
From my throat
Awhile ago
Before when I stopped trying
To explain why I'm here
And all alone
And in the indents
Of where the stream lays
Now just a vein
In the floor of the crashing river
Is where the bones lie
From the body of the one
Who died trying to see through the universe.

If I could paint the world again
I'd draw your hand in mine.
And never would I forget, my friend
The ways we shared our time.

I'd pour my ink on time and space
I'd never blink and never trace

A single star would light the sky
It'd always shine and never die.

And next I think I will provide
Another moon, to change the tide

But be warned and beware.
For I do not know,
The power I share
Is the power I hold.

And if I bring you back alive
Would everything turn out just fine?

Or would my stars turn into dust?
Is this my love or a dying lust?

And see the moons, they'll start to fade
I guess it's time to end charades.

So now I guess I'll say good bye
And wait for christ to fetch me.
But while I live, you know I'll cry
And die untill I reach thee. - See more at: http://allpoetry.com/poem/11645228-Id-Pour-My-Ink-by-L.C#sthash.Dm69z3LG.dpuf

Beware little black widow spider
For her designs on you are sour.
She may look sweet and innocent
But your essence she will devour.

Coldly she watches your every move
preying on your transparent loneliness
You believe she was made only for you
In her eyes I see nothing but emptiness.

It's lust not love that drives this girl
Don't get caught in her web of deceit.
She is incapable of the love you crave
To her you're nothing but fresh meat.

I beg dear friend come back, resist her
Please don't fall under her wicked spell.
Don't let her beauty cloud your fragile mind
Go and find another who will treat you well.

send them in
  I'm sad as sin
    not next year
now, my dear

bring on color
  so tired of dolor
    I want to smile
more than a while    

here you are
  shining star ...
    your antics please
you give me
a squeeze ...

What a day this has turned out to be
My life has another catastrophe
My beautiful Mac has taken a dive
Something wrong with the hard drive.

Must get it fixed as soon as I can
Who do I call when in a jam
My son of course, off to Best Buy
Can it be fixed, they will try.

Today, I asked, with hope in my eyes
You have to be kidding, they replied
Don't call us, we'll call you
Accepted it, what else to do.

I am typing away on a small notebook
Its not too bad, take a long look.
My poems will be in a short supply__Wait for Mac, he's my guy.

I want to destroy you as bad as you destroy me

But sometimes

Most of the time

I want you to destroy me

If it meant lying next you at night

I thought
When I got someone new,
I would feel a sense of happiness...
Or anything really.

But NO,
I still have that empty feeling...
But now it's growing vast;
Eating away at my chest.

No longer feeling numb,
But a dull ache
...
From head to toe
The emptiness has grown.

I'll pull out your hairs
one by one
Then I'll go for your tongue
And its all too fun
Cause now you'll realize
I'm omitting you
from this earth
As I bury you
in 6ft of dirt.

The way you address me
Is very important
You must think with care
But YOU,
You did not...
You should have know better
By now
But you're all too foul
Cause you,
still smell like death...

To her, I am perfect.
To her, I am beautiful.
And she sees no faults nor cracks.
She is mine,
to which I will never let go...

I'm cold in class
so I ask
to borrow a jacket
of Taylor's it is
& it warms me
even if it's too big
& I can smell her on me
it's quite strange
yet her sent can calm
my inner rage.

I can't escape myself,
I SCREAM!
Bleeding black and red
As I lay dead,
Cause I've been shot in the head;
But yet nothing is said.
They mend up my cuts,
With thread on my wrist.
I'm gone and won't be missed.
I'm running through the forest,
And the mist I just felt suicides kiss.

Daddy's little girl;
Wearing puffy bloomers, frilly skirts, and pretty silk blouses.
What a PRETTY girl, daddy's little girl was.
...
Daddy starts to notice
As his little girl gets older,
She is changing in ways
He doesn't wish to see.
...
Daddy's little girl;
Wearing plaid boxers, skinny jeans, and a breast binder.
Daddy doesn't like this girl,
He wants HIS little girl.
...
Daddy doesn't confront the girl,
Only yells hurtful things.
"You are NOT a boy!"
"Quit wearing BOY clothes!"
"If I see you wearing THAT one more time..."
...
I stay silent,
as a single tear rolls down my face.
"God made you a GIRL!"
...
Father is delusional, and there is no God.