As they see me
acting different.
Making sure,
by lifting shirts.
Revealing cuts
and scratches.
I am no more.
I cry & I cry & I cry & I cry
But for what,
this vicious cycle
keeps on going.
And it will never stop.
...
I don't want this anymore,
I repeat this as I lay alone
on the cold wooden floor.

When I look into the mirror
at my tear streaked face
I want to break
and shatter the mirror
for not showing
what I wish to see
...

I have walked some dark lonely roads
I have gotten myself lost along the way
My past brings nightmares to my dreams
I have dance with satan and have eaten from his table
Made love to his woman and have feed from his lust
I have shared in his blood as it filled my veins
Have found myself taking over hell as I took in the greed
Of the power it was willing to give to me.
I ****** for blood of that I cannot have  
I pray on that in which I will feed
I take what I want infect pain on who I want
I control all the come before me as they drop to their knees
Tears I do not have sympathy I will not gave
Sorrow in which I live torment is what I have
For I am a man that walks without a soul

I am a doll that cries but never speaks,
a Jack without a box,
a guitar with a broken string.
Just one of many  forgotten things.
   Here I lie falling apart, split at the seams, coming undone. Button eyes falling away from a lip-less face, cotton like blood dashed all over the place. Pay no heed to me the doll that never spoke, the one that kept my secrets deep within my mind. Sitting alone tears in my eyes, staining the Earth with innocent blood. I doll that cries, a girl who spoke three last words you'll never know.
I am fractured split in two, lost in this world without you. No musical tune to recreate the jesters grin destroyed by fate. Unable to escape the darkness which permeates my world. I am a man without a heart. Ripped away from all I loved torn to shreds before it was done. Pain too great to withstand another day of wasted breath, A star crossed love that could not be salvaged. My painted smile lost to a blood dry sorrow. I am nothing more than a man with no soul. A jack without my box.
I had six strings all in a line. Now five go one way and the last another. One day to rough, one hit to hard left this joker as a wild card. What am I? Who am I? What ever answers I do find always rejected by my mind. Five voices that agree one that's left behind. I am trapped within a shattered physique, this world lost to me. A puzzle forever incomplete, a vicious cycle with no true end. I am a guitar with a broken string, one of many forgotten things.
I am a doll,
a toy,
an instrument.
Did you ever think that I had a soul to? You held my fate, and what did you do?
I am a girl who cries,
a boy with a broken heart,
I am a million people within one mind.
I am a person just like you...I hurt, I cry, I’m lost....my soul cries out and you don't hear it...You leave me...Tossed to the corner like a bad memory in your mind....Forgotten in the vast expanse of time....I’m a daughter, a lover, a stranger....
I am your forgotten thing.

I am a social defect
...
others can perceive me differently
some think
I might change
But
when I don't
they call me strange
...
Some say I'm mad, sad,
Oh, and wickedly BAD.
...
But I can't tell
cause I cant control
the way humans
perceive me
...

It seems like a big deal
...
At first
even to me.
But then I met
the girl who changed
...EVERYTHING...

The way I walk
The way I talk
(And)
how I do my hair
she doesn't even mind
when I wear boys underwear
...
Even though she's there
and not over here
I still love her
as if she was
in my arms
holding tight
in a
warm embrace
Cause her love
has a wonderful
sweetened
taste
<3

My mind is a great maze
with never ending puzzles
that even I find hard to solve
so I shouldn't expect much from others
when they try and solve my riddles
I find it calming
as I see them struggle
just as I have for so very long
but when someone is to solve
my puzzle
I shall give them my respect
...

Music
fills me with
a sense of being
...
that we are one
and
we can't be
harmed
as
long as
our headphones
are on
and the music
is as high as it will go
...
Our worries will
be no more

She is like a lamb
sweet, innocent, and pure.
How did someone like her,
become a friend to me?
...
You've gotten to know me,
as I have you.
But I'm keeping a secret,
one from you.
Cause my intentions,
at first
weren't so pure.
...
What you do not know is,
I like girls.

She works like a sinner,
with her hands running through my hair.
Asking about my collar,
pulling on it all to eagerly.
Why won't she leave,
coming into my room uninvited.
Knowing I'm without a shirt,
then she points at my scars.
She comes closer,
I try and back away.
But she puts her hands through my hair,
looking down at me with a smile.
while I'm thinking,
"How is this girl straight."

Sleep
My body lays silent,
yet my dreams are violent.
So I toss and turn,
ending in a deep
and dreaded slumber.
waking in a pool of sweat and fear,
I don't want them to know,
what goes on in here.
...
Talking in my sleep,
but no one will ever answer.
...
But what was the question again?

And soon
I will be
FREE
...

How do I make it stop.
...
My thought screaming deadly things,
scratching the surface of my skull.
Trying to escape, gripping my head in agony.
...
The relentless pain,
make it stop.
Make me stop.
As I write with silver,
and it always comes out red.
...
Please,
I don't know if I want to keep going on.
With my hopeless life,
struggle to keep Sane.
...
Yeah,
just make it stop.

I want them
...
on my back
in the form of wings
and
on my arms
in the form of sleeves
...
My body is art
and
I choose to be the artist
no matter the pain
cause I'm the one
who gains
...
satisfaction
when I finish
this great piece
of art
...
I might even
add
to my piece
as time goes
on
<3

I can’t tell you why,

Is it when I cry?

To follow in the hate,

When they discriminate,

To the shadows I wonder,

To the crash of thunder,

I hide in fear of what they think,

It’s wrong,

The love,

The hate,

The endless debates,

Over the smallest things,

I can’t quite compare,

To the upper class,

They laugh,

I hide,

They smile,

I cry,

They punch,

They sneer,

To all that is worthless,

And I’m here to take it all,

The hits,

The bruises the leave,

The scrapes they create,

Never can compare,

To the fear the leave,

Unaware inside of me.

we are the one's who have been questioned by society,
the one's who are socialy different,
the one's who see the world in a different light,
we are the one's who fight,
for our right to be noticed and seen...
we are the outcast.

love
...
I think I am slowly finding the meaning
...
And her name is Caity
<3

Is the human condition.

Cultivate it.

The way it tunnels into you,
allows your soul to grow.
Never expect to outgrow loneliness.
Never hope to find people who will understand you,
someone to fill that space.

An intelligent,
sensitive person is the exception.
The very great exception.
If you expect to find people who will understand you,
you will grow murderous with disappointment.
The best you'll ever do,
is to understand yourself,
know what it is that you want,
and not let the cattle stand in your way.

I like being alone...
(lies)
No, I just need to be.
But for some reason,
(I don't know why)
I make others feel like they belong,
when there with me...
(even though i don't)

I don't want her to think I'm needy.
...
But I want her here next to me.

Oh, please come play with me
outside in the summer
breeze.
We could climb a tree
and act like
we're three.
Please, come play with me.
We could catch
butterflies
or
dance in the rain.
What else is there to gain
from being here
with
me
...

it's late at night
everyone but me is asleep
i dont know what to do
...
i know
i'll raid the fridge

Simmer down and pucker up,
I'm sorry to interrupt.
It's just I'm constantly on the cusp
of trying to kiss you.

she has half of her head on my laptop,
move her ear just to type,
she's drooling on the key board...
she's a dog.

She is kind in heart,
but her soul seems dark.
{Yet when you prevail through the darkness}
In her mind you'll
notice
a bright,
shinning light.
And you will be overwhelmed,
with
a feeling of
Bliss.

I'm going to try and stop.
Must find a new way to release my pain.
...

I did it again.
{The bad thing}
Turning my pain
into liquid once again.
...
I felt at ease,
As I wrote on the wall,
In blood it read.
...
{I want to turn my pain into liquid}
it's only a matter of time,
Before the poor soul,
finds my message.
...
{On the bathroom wall}

I'm so confused
...

I want that sweet release,
For my pain to become liquid.

I may look happy.
But honestly, dear.
The only way I'll really smile,
Is if you cut me
Ear to Ear.

What is love?
...
What does it mean, to be in love?
...
How can you tell?
...
'Cause you see, I can't.

My room is dark,
with my smell lingering across the bed.
My room is marked,
with my poems written across the wall.
...
When I go to sleep
my dog comes too.
we make a nest of pillows and covers,
then fall asleep together as well.

You do not know me,
so you think I am strong.
You do not know me,
so it won't take very long.
Because you see
like most things
under pressure,
I also tend to break.