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378 · Jun 2017
Her forest
Tøast Jun 2017
Flood me in emotions,
Let me drink from that stream.
Cover me in leaves
And leave me in this dream.
377 · May 2018
Drown the Ghost
Tøast May 2018
So let me disguise myself as a human and try to drown the ghost.
Because I've been so distant lately, it's getting difficult to remember.
I just want to be normal, human and feel, feel things when people say them,
And understand pain again.
With bruised knuckles and cigarette burns, my hands held onto yours,
But did it even happen, if neither of us felt like we were there.
371 · Feb 2018
Fire Flies But Pigs Walk
Tøast Feb 2018
The fire burnt out and the ash floated away.
creating patterns around our fingers we couldn't ignore
it was there when we would stare into each other's eyes for hours on end.

There.

That's how I'll remember you.
370 · May 2018
Morning Cigarette
Tøast May 2018
What I would give for another cigarette.
An ash stained mouth and a lung full of smoke,
Spiralling up from the death wish I hold so delicately between my finger tips.
Well I quite a while ago, and yes I can breathe, but why would I want to when I'm as self destructive as I am.
So let me drink from a volcano and inhale the fumes, exhale in one breathe and clear my mind for a while.
369 · Mar 2018
Buttercup Laugh
Tøast Mar 2018
I want to run away and play hide and seek with my past,
Ignore the alarm bells as fire engines rush past on their way to my heart.
Blank out the headaches and pain with starry sky lollipops and buttercup laughs.
366 · Feb 2019
GOLDEN TICKET
Tøast Feb 2019
Well you seem to have jumped into my life like some golden ticket I’ve spent my life trying to find.
A gorgeous boy and my tired mind,
Because the toxic fog around my eyes was burning for much too long,
But you’ve cleared my mind and made me happier than any artificial overdose ever could.

Perhaps I spent too long in this box I call comfort,
And perhaps my minds too lost for me to understand,
A barren town of ivy and weeds,
Overgrown memories with a hint of reality.
You’re a ******* breathe of fresh air, for these dusty lungs.. and I won’t stop trying to show you how much you mean to me...
361 · Aug 2020
LAKE SEROTONIN
Tøast Aug 2020
The air is toxic,
These brown paper bag clouds
Clogging up our lungs
We wash our ash covered feet
But it’s seeped into the bloodstream
Trickling down into a much larger lake.

So we take the plunge
Swimming in the lake of serotonin
We dive down deep and admire the fish,
Such bright coloured fish relaxing at such depths.
Everything is better down where it’s wetter,
But with lungs not gills
We all have to come up for air.

We resurface and time has moved on
The air is getting thick now
And buildings have crumbled.
Entire generations of degraded graduates
Emerging from the thick mud of the banks of the lake serotonin.
326 · May 2018
Cars Casting Shadows
Tøast May 2018
At night I lay and I watch the cars cast shadows on my walls,
In the bed we used to share, when you illuminated my life.
Well now the shadows are back and I'm afraid of the dark,
But you left me here alone with my mind,
To play tricks with myself and dance in the dark
Do you remember the nights, where we gazed at the stars?
Because now the clouds have rolled in and my vision is blurred, blocking my view of those perfect lights suspended on strings up above our heads.
304 · Apr 2018
Altered Minds
Tøast Apr 2018
Altered minds create some of the best art..
Either with drugs, substances or painful memories bouncing around an overgrown mind.
Isn't it strange how the best art can come from an altered mind?
Like it's not from this world,
A cosmic wasteland of artists and creatives.
299 · Jun 2018
Blurry eyes and Bonfires
Tøast Jun 2018
I just want to sleep, but i
Dance as I fall in and out of consciousness.
Jumping between days as they blur past my eyes.
I paint the world with words as I see it through my eyes,
But my eyes are cracked and red, it's never been easy to see through broken filters.
The trees that sheltered me from the rain have fallen down,
Ash burning, circling through my mind.
A distant mind with a painful memory.
296 · Feb 2018
I Tried
Tøast Feb 2018
I tried. You must know.

I tried.
But when you left, you were replaced by an old friend.

I tried.
A demonic being, darker than your eyes.

I tried.
But the blade looked clean, and the lines I painted gave my friend room to breathe.

But i tried.
279 · May 2018
You
Tøast May 2018
You
You.
You with the cute little freckled face,
with the button nose

You with the eyes speaking more languages
then the mountains in summer.

You with the beauty of spring and the lips like a sunset bouncing off the rivers.

You with the love for poetry, me a mere fool scribbling notes in his bedroom to block out the sun.

You with the electric touch and most
adorable smile,

You turn my stomach into a butterfly cage
and simply make me tremble in the best of
ways.
Well, I’ve never known how to save myself,
but you seem to catch me in such a wonderful way.
Tøast Feb 2018
I might just bury myself in the nights' sky and hide away from the world for a few hours. Think up some arrangement of words spoken before me, and try to be happy. For this is all that I know, living in a house where the walls bend and warp through the dangerously long hours of the night, weighed down by painful memories and bad smells.
224 · Jun 2020
TOO HOT TO SLEEP
Tøast Jun 2020
I miss living my life,
back when smells weren’t polluted, diluted by oceans.
When sparrows dived and swallows would fly.
catching the day on their wing,
a perfect dance across a broken mind.

But how many lives will it take for me to be happy?
how many memories of songs and poems?
of long chats and short walks.
of star kissed nights and sun touched skies.
216 · Feb 2018
Untitled
Tøast Feb 2018
Now he sits in a room, big enough for two.
a devil child with a black paintbrush,
drawing art on his skin,
Inspired by his mind.
Well, he never knew what it was like,
To see a shooting star and not feel scared.
203 · Oct 2020
TEER SOAKED PILLOW CASES
Tøast Oct 2020
With teer soaked pillow cases
And broken glass painting the room

Washed clean with liqour
And covered over with ash

A beautiful sadness now speckled our minds,
When petals fall and flowers die
Rivers still run and the sun still sets,

But the stars look down and with sadness In their eyes,
For the sunset will never be the same, without the moon by their side
201 · Jul 2020
DROPS OF SOLITUDE
Tøast Jul 2020
How is it that we can be,
so far apart like islands drifting at sea.
Well the waves are getting bigger and
we've never sailed out quite this far before.
So forgive me for asking who's steering this boat?

Tossing and turning late at night,
more than a single drop of solitude.
It'll wash away that sunset leaving a foggy
clouded mess that melts into this storm.

Why do we do this to ourselves,
drowning in liquid confidence
like a broken ship trapped in a bottle
so very far out at sea.
198 · Nov 2021
BREEZE BLOCK STUMPS
Tøast Nov 2021
Well I don’t know what to write
Because it’s been a while,
And the turns have been winding, the maps stored in a file.

Rushed away like wind in my mind
A fleeting jab at a life.

So take me back to those mind games
Where the sea is stronger
And the breeze block stumps sway in the wind.

Stretched far across this land,
Like ice on the fields
A punch through the crack
And a hole in this earth.

There’s fires on every corner
So you’d best come prepared.

Because the man who once lived here..
Is now huddled and scared.
183 · May 2020
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
Tøast May 2020
What is that we do,
after all these years.
Punched a hole in the wall
that now I look through.
Seeing the world through that shattered master piece.

How can it be, that after all these years
we are still the same.
Yet so very far from how we were.
182 · Jan 2022
Untitled
Tøast Jan 2022
So let me rest my tired mind
And light up another smoke.
Coz I'm a mess and always have been,
They say pain is only temporary,
But I've been climbing these hills
And they're starting to look like mountains.
Let's breathe in the fresh air,
And exhale the sadness,
Coz these drugs are only temporary,
They'll only keep me happy for a couple hours.
But there's always more money and more people
157 · Dec 2020
GIRL NEXT DOOR
Tøast Dec 2020
I feel like I’m losing you.
Maybe it’s childish, or pathetic.. but maybe my biggest fault was not voicing my feelings for you soon enough.
Perhaps out of fear and naivety, but I suppose hind sight is always the clearest vision.
I try every night to get you off my mind and I fail every time, so here I am, trying to deal with another sleepless night.
Not writing this to make you feel sorry for me, but rather to get **** off my chest, in the hopes that perhaps I’ll finally get some sleep.
120 · Jul 2020
WEEPING WINDOW PAIN
Tøast Jul 2020
Well I’m backed up against this weeping window pain for yet another night.
Looking through it but never too far off into the distance,
Where once I could see a flickering candle light,
Dancing delicately with the wind,
I now see black once again.

A depressing default of stationary sickness.
This black awakening rises up once again.

— The End —