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Hello ex-Hubby,
I meant the handsome dystopian boy,
currently, I'm writing you the sin
I remembered that craved the most,
when I dared to
penetrate my colorful virtue spot again.
to ride the last whole night car with you
in a hurry,
and forget about the evil you,
hating women, dressed in your dark flurry.
I embraced those tiny white palms in my head.
when they refused to touch me back and ride ahead.
instead of losing interest
and forget about reverence you physically,
I kept my fingers crossed secretly,
under the car seat,
next to the prestigious scent of yours.
Your North African amber eyes
that refused to match mine,
to get lost between their depressed universes and shine.
I prayed along this magnificent time,
to God so he could with his 99 mercies
make you fully mine.
The lava that burst divinely
out of your Tunisian delicate betrayed my senses
and lit the full hungriness towards your beguilement.
I encouraged my half stability
to make it through
a little bit far from you,
my hallowed brew
with every single meter that we've passed
I fluctuate amid the idea of capturing you devilishly or sacredly, between making some blood contracts with the devil itself,
or donate as much money as I could,
for the sake of being together,
burring ourselves on an old bookshelf.
trichotillomania; the colorless ferocious ogre,
that used to assault my bright aesthetic soul,
as a tight fatal choker
to remind it chastely,
of the imperfection portrait of mine.
and pursue its pride with a fiery scourge,
matted with brine
when I started to rise my jaded fingers
to covet those golden cheeks.
I failed!
the deficiency is capturing me
The keloid I hated the most
as I carry my dramatic havoc away,
a little bit away,
from your inner fray
pathetically, I turned my whole feelings
against my well ignoring the idea of
love Subliminal and its spell
facing the windscreen
that harshly afford me a great frustration
trying to cover my hope with trash sack and provocation.
I failed,
escaping the life blackmail,
convincing me to practically disbelief on you.
But I kept myself as holy as I dared to.
despite of my Viscera's beating,
crumbling and shrinking.
I kept my grin harmfully, blinking.
under your realm seeking for a light of your anger that will
console me again. and bring me home.
Happy Birthday!
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Stop muting the
breath of your fear
Just Drill your own beer
to find your golden jeer.

And

Let it smash your own tear
Until you find your rights
To live your cheer
Without yourself
And without them my lovely deer.

next to this real terror
there was a real door
that has an error
with a number four

she tried to hang it on it
and ignore its lore
furthermore,
there was a single sore
within its living bore

it hate to lie
but he liked it before
when he was sure that
it is an angelic core.

he will never have more
of number four
even when its rejection towards her
is so poor
but it still can find the inner shore.
within her gore.

Here…
Where I’m unable to feel your presence,
Where the lack of joy and lack of motivation
Are dancing vividly along the darkness…
I would be determined and eager to achieve my goals, next to your gentle, harmless envy.
But today,
My melancholy is cherishing my epic loss,
telling me I’m neither your lover nor your foe,
I’m nothing but a forgotten chapter
A thing that will never remain
Precious to you.

Despite years of learning
to be independent,
your ghosting can
still act around,
but I'm the happiest
introverted woman
in this corner;
I no longer
belong to you.
I belong to my mess.

-- you didn’t see anything yet.

Yeah, he touched my blood with his Threats.
He brought his flood to my rights without regrets.
His tongue is covered by mud and his
malice is full of sweat.
And you have to know that,
He is a lonely bud that you can't love or forget.

This starry, darkened celestial sky
reminds me of how foolish and
errant I used to be next to you.
Hungry for perfection,
terrified to the point of
letting hallucinations prey on me
and devour me partly,
leaving me to consciously stare at
my jagged self like a leftover piece
of an exciting individual.

This pain is intense.
Taking the brightness away,
Creeping up on our melancholy,
Hunting its bleakness and embodying such a ferocious doom inside, we are no longer alive; we are just pretending to be.

his fragrant palms,
Filled with marshmallows and ink stains,
I’m tracing the sugary world, brimming with such a poetic lexicon between his entwined fingers ;
Those Fingertips that I dared to crave
Love, pain, thirst, and beautiful hunger,
I dare to suffer, you won’t.
I care to inflate the romantic havoc, you don’t,
My tempting beauty is rooted in your psychosis, I’m nothing but a complete masterpiece of bleak jellyfish, blindly diving into your seductive ocean.

I remained silent
for the sake of holding you
emotionally tighter than you could ever
possibly imagine.
I chose you
a hundred times
until I forgot about
my jaded self
and started to hate it even more,
devouring you romantically.
I had no family;
I never learned how to be loved
unconditionally,
so I adored you
unconditionally.
How could you be so selfish
when I was the meaning of family to you?
You betrayed my feelings
and dragged me to hell,
and I unbelievably adapted for you.
I love you with all my remains
and jagged parts.

she tasted the dryness of her   blood by mistake.
and she realized that her veins were fake.

she walked towards the red lake.
to commit suicide!
while  she found that the water was flake.

the death was  rusty,
like a rotten big cake
that will never digest
Within the body of snake

That settled in her nightmare
And keeps her terror awake.

lead me to the sun,
That will be always
the main symbol of seething
And
the convincing reason
who I'm bleeding.

let its dark lava pray for us,
to have the blessing for our fuzz,
And don't forget to
care about its volatile rage,
thus you will get the golden page
of wisdom
from the right sage.

hide your justification
within the body of your mystifcation
And
don't dare to fight the circle of black fire
that will cause your happines
a great ire.

I can sense my pain’s sobbing,
Sighing and leaving no trace
Of being passionately damaged.
Gifting itself a bunch of hopes and flowering them ferociously with the abscess’s appearance. No gesture could fill the gap left by being desperately injured.

The folks in heaven were angry
Because their trees were hungry
That’s why
They killed the last cranky.

After which
they feed the trees amply
With his blood which is totally
Fancy.

But all of a sudden
The greed attacked the branches
And start to spread the sins
In the form of patches.

And finally,
the handsome cruelness built its rituals
within the holy individuals
until the terror bloomed within the folks
and hunt the heaven
to burn its strokes.

Once upon a time, in a toxic embrace
Us, and your shadow, faint and cold
I held onto your lies, against my knowing,
Till awakening came, and I started going.
Begging for warmth, for love's reprise,
Met by your silence, under cold skies.
Today, I close that chapter, bid farewell,
Exchanging your poison for stories to tell.
How could you break the love promise?
And compel it to swell with its calamity
And burst within its insanity
Like a perfect incantation
In times of ignorance.

in this Morn,
Under this clime,
She found her dark hails,

She tasted its drops and thee can hanging it
on thine blue nose Thro’ this explode.
now, after the mad mass
the Isle became bold , because it scattered the inner gold,
And whose wailing is this?
Who knows!
But,
Before you go,
Cheer their death up
and embrace your pavilions
And fly carefully
Towards the panic .

Hubby,
I exposed my soul to your
narcissistic hunger once,
and you are here upon my
simplicity, manipulating my few
reasons to stay alive and
making them speak
out against me.
I know I should have died
before, maybe in an earthquake
or in the Pacific Ocean
that I prayed to see one day,
but I didn’t, as I was used to your
words that killed me every
morning and night.
Just remember,
I wasn't that bad;
I only opened myself to
you without being careful
of your attack on my innocence.
I want to go home;
I'm lost, admits your
demonic knouts.

Dad,
Do you remember me?
I'm the child you raised,
the one you emotionally abandoned,
the little one who used to be afraid at night,
trembling to the point of tears,
the one who used to be mentally distracted
and terrified of the dark that reflected your gaze
. I couldn't run from you for years
I remember one night I escaped
your cruel silhouette,
and it cost me hours of grief
Dad,
do you remember me?
Do you remember how many times
you used to call my name
and I couldn't answer because I was distracted?
Do you remember how many times
I needed a hug but couldn't get one?
I'm still confused.
Why didn't you accept me?
I'm lost like a suicidal child
in the woods.
Could you find me and rescue me
before it is too late?
It's time for you to remember
how precious I am and save me.

Love, Your Daughter

I belong to the first place
where we used to overdose on dreams,
ones you've since forgotten.
I persist in being yours,
despite the challenges we face today.
Happy birthday to you.
The shattered words I've held onto
remain yours,
whether I can articulate them or not.
Today,
I comprehend the weight
of punitive silence,
and thus,
it transforms into a blessing in my life.
No one would impose it upon me
before it morphs into their fear of
losing me in the first place.

I’ve become too jaded
To fight,
To sacrifice,
To believe,
To persevere,
To confess,
To love,
To dream.
I’m so cynical
To be yours.

In your fake gardens
There was a vivid
Semi-orchard,
I couldn’t enjoy
Its little brightness,
I’m a fanatical
Believer in darkness
I used to be zealous
For Gothic literature
And Beyond,
Hear my colorless void
Exclaiming : for the sake
Of its melancholy’s dose.

It's okay to fail again.
It's okay to drown insanely, to Inhale the whole fire, and to forget about the water creeping up into my collapsed lungs.
Dearest darling hubby,
You set my fear free for a while,
I'm still yearning for some of your tenderness.
I wish I was lucky enough to keep impressing you for a long period of time. I love you desperately.

You were my child,
my priority,
my responsibility,
my spouse,
my delightful melancholy,
my breathtaking Christmas,
during moments of despair.
What perfect misfortune
would bring about
the same terrifying nights next to you.
I missed you.

Holding your breathtaking handsomeness,
like dancing with the same alluring malice
that draws its scars over my innocence.
The elusive harmony that brings all
my weaknesses up,
like a romantic novel
drowning between the mouth of
the Mariana Trench.
How could I
bring those dark days back?
How could I not let you go?

I escape the whole world
Like a baby rhyme that has found
Its sanctuary within the verses of poetry

another note,
another stunning shyness;
you made it glow
like the sparkles under the water,
I’m fully interested in every word
that you would speak,
embrace your poetic mind
devour it ferociously,
my blood is beating inside my veins,
yearning to burst out of my body,
to hunt the sweet honey
that gently covers your golden pores,
if I Were Tinkerbell,
I would definitely pray every single night
for being the one and only Holy Siren,
That will insanely chase your soul
to inflate your hunger
with all the temptation’s tricks
for the sake of swallowing all your sins perfectly ;
disinfecting and archiving them
into our fairytale files,
Darling,
I love you to the point
that I used to crave being thirsty for you.