My Iris died today
Her petals fell and blew away
Under the moon I lay and weep
Holding tight to the memories I keep

I have a good relationship with death.
We handle each other well.
And when I get anxiety
It’s she who inspires me
To take a deep breath and let go.

Some days you cry because you miss them
Some days you cry because you listen
To your fears that hold you back
It feels like a heart attack
You want to succeed
But your too afraid to try
Too afraid to close your eyes
And listen to that lullaby
Of solemn sorrow you once knew
All too well

My kitchen is yellow
Ugly and faded
My kitchen is where
Late at night
I traded
Crumbs with a monster
A tiny little thing
That grows and grows
With growls and grumblings
She does not like the yellow
And neither say do I
Sometimes the hideous color
Makes her want to cry
So I placate her with cookies
Brownies and more
But my little monster
Throws tantrums on the floor
No amount of Nutella
Can get her off her knees
For my little monster
Has a minds disease
And I’m too busy fighting
That I can not see
The empty cartons of ice cream
Will bring her no true ease

I don’t need you to solve my problems
Just listen to me while I cry
I don’t need you to give your life
Just love me when I want to die

Give me time to process
Give me time to breath
Promise that you’ll hold me
Promise you won’t leave

I just need some time to grieve for
The life I lost when I was young
I just need some time to grieve for
All the songs I’ve left unsung

When we wake up in the morning
As the sun peaks through the trees
The birds sing out their warning
As the wind rustles through the leaves

I can feel my heart a glowing
As you kiss me on the cheek
Like a tree I have been growing
Of my sorrows let me speak

I just need some time to grieve for
The life I lost when I was young
I just need some time to grieve for
All the songs I’ve left unsung

When the day is gone
And we’re done with the sun
Kiss me on my head
As I sink into the bed

As the sky’s turn red
And I’m wishing I was dead
You can rock me to sleep
With the nightmares I keep

And I’ll dream of songs unsung
And I’ll dream of songs unsung

Would you come for me
In my darkest hour?
No my heart won't bleed
It just turns sour
This rotting flesh
Inside my chest
Only causes pain
Turning me insane

I saw eyes on every wall
I swear I saw you fall
Thought you died
But you were still alive
It was all in my mind
Our lives became entwined

I don't wanna write about you anymore
I'm tired of my heart growing sore
Im happy to see you've moved on from me
Im ready to let go and let you be
But the way you hurt me still aches deep

I asked you to come for me in my darkest hour
But you pulled away and my heart turned sour
I tried to rely on you
But you couldn't follow through
Clingy, codependent, smothering, decaying goo
Sometimes I feel that's all I was to you

So now we'll just be friends
And that's how the story ends

We had good *** but that’s about it
We argue over text about stupid ****
You we’re insecure about your ****
I think it made you a *****
Your insecurities
Overwhelmed me
You’re demons overran you
Boy I just couldn’t stand you
I don’t wanna see you any more
You crashed my car then ****** a *****
I don’t blame her tho
This is all on you
I dont think you know
How the things you do
Affect those around  you
Like how you ****** that girl in my bed
Or how your lies were in everything you never said
How you criticized me for wanting to be dead
Why don’t you pull the trigger
put a bullet through my head
Would’ve been better than what you did
When you put that cigarette out on my shoulder
Looked you in the eyes
While I felt it smolder
Said it was fine
You didn’t commit a crime
Cause I wanted it so bad
Like you where always mad
at me for my loyalty
You could never trust
You were always tryina bust
All you had for me was lust
She said you couldn’t have me
That made you want me so much
Now and then I cringe
at how I responded to your touch
I was just tryina binge
Watch some anime
Then you took that away
You forced me to cuddle
You grabbed my hair
Turned me to a puddle
Dissociated
Comatose baby
Protective personalities
Malfunctioning realities
Could this really be happening
I’m watching from the ceiling again
That’s not my body this is all pretend

Oh Geo, I don’t miss you so
I’m so glad to see you go
Now I finally have control

September 27th
You died today
Your life just slipped away
Maybe souls exist and I’ll see you again
Pretty lies we tell ourselves but it’s all pretend
My tethers to this world are growing thin
I often wonder why they say suicides a sin
The world with out you has grown a little grim
I know I need time to grieve
But it’s hard when there’s no time to breath

Sea green, sea blue
all I wanted was to be with you
but it was too much
you were smothered by my touch
I don’t wanna feel
the way you made me feel
ever again
I felt so unwanted,
pushed away and haunted
by what had been

His mind was beautiful
His poetry was art
He made my soul full
His sad eyes stole my heart

He once was a true love of mine
My sun and stars, I was love blind
But no longer can I call him mine
And no longer does my heart shine

He asked me for space again
I said “yes”
But this aching in my chest
Tells me that it’s not okay
And that it hurts everyday
That I am not with him.
I feel hurt and taken for granted
I feel the dynamic is slanted
We never go on dates anymore
It doesn’t help that we’re both poor
He always wants to stay home
I feel unwanted and alone
He rarely calls me his Bbg
He hardly ever flirts with me
He already broke my heart
Maybe things can’t go back to the start
When he would smile and caress my face
And hold me in his warm embrace
Even though I love him
I’m starting to resent him...
And I don’t know how to tell him
Without the fear of loosing him

If you wanted my beating heart
You should’ve treated it right from the start

Yet you set me on fire
cause you hate yourself
Watched my burning pyre
As you berate yourself

Now my carcass smolders
In the ashes of
What sickens me to call our love

It gives me glee to see
It blow away in the wind
As if it was never there to begin
And at last I am free again

I didn't want to
I didn't want to
Do those things with you
But you persisted
Crushed my soul
Then enlisted
Now your off fighting a war
While I'm here feeling like a *****

There was a rose garden
Vibrant and full of life
The prince poured
His love into the roses
Every night.
But the roses kept
Pricking his fingers.
His blood dripped
Onto the floor
They lapped it up
Growing more and more
Till the prince ran dry
With no more blood to spill
He left the roses
To die on their hill.
So full of fright they cried
Every night till sunrise
And from their grief
A child was born
Twisted and rotten
A head full of thorns.
They nursed the wretched child
With the blood of the prince
That was coursing inside.
She ****** and ******
till the roses turned white
as the moon hanging high in the sky.
The roses withered as the last drop
of blood left their veins.
And down from hill the child did climb
Searching for a reason
for all the pain inside.

I am in love with him
He doesn’t know what love is
I want to stay up all night with him
When his mind is playing tricks on him
He says he cares about me
I care about him too
He said he loved me
I wonder if his love is true
I love it when he calls me
His baby g
Look at the clouds above me
What do you see
I see an elephant
In dungarees
Is our love superficial
Or does it run deep
I can feel his heart beating
When we are asleep
I want him to be closer
This distance is killing me
But I just love him harder
Every nigh we are together
Two birds of a feather
I feel bound by a tether
I want to be with him forever
But this distance is killing me
When my baby loves me
Waivers day by day
But my baby loves me
Sometimes so it’s okay
In his arms forever
is where I want to stay

Perched on the tip of my tongue 
as if standing at the edge of a cliff
staring down at the steely waters below.
These words aching to take the plunge
but too afraid of whats yet to come
Will I cast my heart
upon the jagged rocks below
only to shatter my bones?
or will I dive
into waters dark and deep
Wholesome, warm, and safe?

Every time i see you
My heart threatens to leap out of my chest and off that cliff.
But fear is holding back my tongue.
Because of him,
I cannot jump without reservation.
And for that, I resent him.

You turn my heart into an ocean 
wave after wave crashing down upon my chest 
as I feel your breath 
upon my skin.
floating softly
through your sea 
you are all I could want or need

I said darling
Open your eyes
You said “Sorry
The lights too bright
And it hurts me
I’m sorry”

I said darling
Uncover your ears
You said “Sorry
The sounds too loud
And it hurts me
I’m sorry”

I said darling
Eat this it’s delish
You said “Sorry
It’s too hot and salty
And it hurts me
I’m sorry”

I said darling
Put on your socks
You said “I’m sorry
The seam is too lumpy
And it hurts me
I’m sorry”

I said darling
Put on your shirt
You said “I’m sorry
The tag is too scratchy
And it hurts me
I’m sorry”

I said darling
You’re too sensitive
So take these pills
And go to therapy
So you will be
more palpable to me

She said
she bled
because she was alone in it
But to be honest
she liked it quite a bit
And no amount of therapy
could cure her minds disease
The pain was far too sweet
and it came with too much ease

I'm not sleeping anymore
The nightmares crawling through my head
Down my hair and across my neck
Slowly suffocating my last breath

I don't  know what to do
My heart is split in two
Do you think if I cut deep enough
the pain will finally end?

Once again night gathers,
beckoning your tears.
Sorrow shatters laughter,
echoing your fears.
You tragic disaster,
what fruit can life bear?