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Sarafæl Sep 2022
My Iris died today
Her petals fell and blew away
Under the moon I lay and weep
Holding tight to the memories I keep
Sarafæl Jan 2022
I have a good relationship with death.
We handle each other well.
And when I get anxiety
It’s she who inspires me
To take a deep breath and let go.
Sarafæl Aug 2021
Some days you cry because you miss them
Some days you cry because you listen
To your fears that hold you back
It feels like a heart attack
You want to succeed
But your too afraid to try
Too afraid to close your eyes
And listen to that lullaby
Of solemn sorrow you once knew
All too well
Sarafæl Jul 2021
My kitchen is yellow
Ugly and faded
My kitchen is where
Late at night
I traded
Crumbs with a monster
A tiny little thing
That grows and grows
With growls and grumblings
She does not like the yellow
And neither say do I
Sometimes the hideous color
Makes her want to cry
So I placate her with cookies
Brownies and more
But my little monster
Throws tantrums on the floor
No amount of Nutella
Can get her off her knees
For my little monster
Has a minds disease
And I’m too busy fighting
That I can not see
The empty cartons of ice cream
Will bring her no true ease
Sarafæl Jul 2021
I don’t need you to solve my problems
Just listen to me while I cry
I don’t need you to give your life
Just love me when I want to die

Give me time to process
Give me time to breath
Promise that you’ll hold me
Promise you won’t leave

I just need some time to grieve for
The life I lost when I was young
I just need some time to grieve for
All the songs I’ve left unsung

When we wake up in the morning
As the sun peaks through the trees
The birds sing out their warning
As the wind rustles through the leaves

I can feel my heart a glowing
As you kiss me on the cheek
Like a tree I have been growing
Of my sorrows let me speak

I just need some time to grieve for
The life I lost when I was young
I just need some time to grieve for
All the songs I’ve left unsung

When the day is gone
And we’re done with the sun
Kiss me on my head
As I sink into the bed

As the sky’s turn red
And I’m wishing I was dead
You can rock me to sleep
With the nightmares I keep

And I’ll dream of songs unsung
And I’ll dream of songs unsung
Sarafæl Nov 2020
Would you come for me
In my darkest hour?
No my heart won't bleed
It just turns sour
This rotting flesh
Inside my chest
Only causes pain
Turning me insane

I saw eyes on every wall
I swear I saw you fall
Thought you died
But you were still alive
It was all in my mind
Our lives became entwined

I don't wanna write about you anymore
I'm tired of my heart growing sore
Im happy to see you've moved on from me
Im ready to let go and let you be
But the way you hurt me still aches deep

I asked you to come for me in my darkest hour
But you pulled away and my heart turned sour
I tried to rely on you
But you couldn't follow through
Clingy, codependent, smothering, decaying goo
Sometimes I feel that's all I was to you

So now we'll just be friends
And that's how the story ends
Sarafæl Oct 2020
We had good *** but that’s about it
We argue over text about stupid ****
You we’re insecure about your ****
I think it made you a *****
Your insecurities
Overwhelmed me
You’re demons overran you
Boy I just couldn’t stand you
I don’t wanna see you any more
You crashed my car then ****** a *****
I don’t blame her tho
This is all on you
I dont think you know
How the things you do
Affect those around  you
Like how you ****** that girl in my bed
Or how your lies were in everything you never said
How you criticized me for wanting to be dead
Why don’t you pull the trigger
put a bullet through my head
Would’ve been better than what you did
When you put that cigarette out on my shoulder
Looked you in the eyes
While I felt it smolder
Said it was fine
You didn’t commit a crime
Cause I wanted it so bad
Like you where always mad
at me for my loyalty
You could never trust
You were always tryina bust
All you had for me was lust
She said you couldn’t have me
That made you want me so much
Now and then I cringe
at how I responded to your touch
I was just tryina binge
Watch some anime
Then you took that away
You forced me to cuddle
You grabbed my hair
Turned me to a puddle
Dissociated
Comatose baby
Protective personalities
Malfunctioning realities
Could this really be happening
I’m watching from the ceiling again
That’s not my body this is all pretend

Oh Geo, I don’t miss you so
I’m so glad to see you go
Now I finally have control
TW: Abusive relationship, suicidal ideation, dissociation
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