Sitting here
With you
Might not be
The best thing I can do

I sit here
And scream
And you listen
And breathe

I cried out beautiful anxiety
It’s a pity you heard
You took me in
I might be more trouble than I’m worth
You saw the monsters in me
You looked past it
You saw the dimmed light
And sought to make it shine

)

I knew if I said too much
This would happen
I should have known
And not gotten so close

He is like a flame
And I, a moth
I keep coming back
Except this time I was really burned

I want to go back though
Say it was all *******
And I made it up
Ask for forgiveness

But I know I can’t
I know why I’ve been feeling this sinking feeling
In my stomach every time I thought about him
My mind warned me

But I didn’t listen
Like a moth to a flame
I kept going back
I couldn’t help myself

I wish I listened
I wished I stopped,
Cold turkey
But he’s addicting

And I’ve already burnt
My wings to a crisp
I can’t fly away
I’m stuck here

Left to defend
Against the unwanted thoughts
And the ultimate betrayal,
He has displayed

I won’t go back, I can’t
But I might
He still is a flame
And I, a moth

I feel over my glass body
Everyday

Looking for the cracks
I'm sure will show again one day

Don't get too close to people
What if they try to crack me

I run my hand over the last crack
Like the last time

I open up and people are nice for a while
But then they turn

They lash out at me
And their words leave cracks

Broken and afraid
I stay away

It happens again and again
And my glass body is far too cracked

It can't be helped if I have to stick alone
It's the way I must live

Drown the child in the holy water
It must be a demon cause it struggles beneath the hand
It wants to live
Let it go limp
Dreamy pink and blue surrounds the child in the water
Watch as the light leaves it's eyes
And the colors fill it
At least now it won't ask so many questions

I'm a teenager with depression
And I'm starting to have a **** ton of aggression
People tell me to shut up
And then they wonder why we don't consult

Look, I hate myself
And you likely hate yourself
And that's the joy of being in a world
Where we all get burned

I got crinks in my neck
And a back that is a wreck
Working too hard
So colleges see me as being "smart"

I have a noose on my fan
And a gun I got from a man
I've started to fantasize about death
But I know all the paperwork will be a mess

People see a breakup
And say "oh just wake up"
When adults get into a breakup
They become vacant

Why is my pain any less
Just cause I don't have any debts yet
I'm a teenager with depression
And I'm starting to have a **** ton of aggression

I am shaking
Fearful, as the shouts grow louder
Every breath leaves me aching
The hourglass has begun to fall slower and slower by the hour

Reality has crumbled into mere dust sliding through my fingers
Wordless, soundless, screaming
Avoiding the empty, shattered mirrors
Left to pace between thoughts, as my hands do the cleaning

I cut my arms on glass, but I'm not seeing the bleeding
Dripping down my arms from my veins are jokes gone wrong
Sitting, in the glass poured over me, I'm leaping
It won't be too long

I've done a bad thing and I can't be forgiven
I am smiling at the spots in my vision that look like stars
I'm dancing, swaying, to an unknown etheral rthym
The whispers are seeping through my gray walls

Words have become a mush of meaningless *******
I hear the floors loosen and soon I am falling through
Ego tandem videre stellas
Ad astra per aspera