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Makenzie Marie Jun 2015
Storms Pass.
but the problem is
that even though eventually the storm will be over,
the destruction will still lay in it's wake.
Even though you can rebuild the entire city,
it will forever be shaken.
it will never be the same.
Storms pass.
but like buildings and bridges,
people break.
And you can stitch up a broken heart,
but even after it heals,
a scar remains.
And now there's a tangible, visible, literal scar
one that you don't know formed
and it shows that things changed.
And I don't know when it will fade,
but even with all the vitamin e on my thighs
scar tissue will remain
beneath the skin on my knees,
reminding me
about when I fell for you too hard,
reminding me of when the storm destroyed our town
reminding me of how many times
I've had to build myself up after a breakdown.
How many times I wanted to go to you
but was too afraid to,
reminding me of when you weren't there for me to.
Storms pass
and maybe this one has,
but the city has turned to rubble
and I can't decide if I want to rebuild,
just to wait for the next storm warning,
as if anyone could expect it,
or if I should just move on from this tired old town.
Because it's dark,
and the sun is rising...
but the electricity is out.
And the scar tissue reminds me,
that my heart fell apart when all the buildings fell.
And I know a long night is coming.

I think you'd be surprised how cold it can be in Hell.
Makenzie Marie Jun 2015
Your eyes are like the ocean
but the secret behind them
is that beneath the beauty that lures me in
it's darker than any abyss I've ever known.

Your eyes are like the ocean
but the secret behind them
is that the second you even dip a toe in,
chills consume everything.
But I dove in headfirst,
and I went numb so quickly
that I forgot that I was catching the worst kind of hypothermia.

Your eyes are like the ocean
but the secret behind them
is that the second I dove in
I got lost in them and forgot how to swim.

Your eyes are like the ocean
but the secret behind them
is that it's a tsunami wave
waiting
to wipe out the entire city
and every speck of light that inhabits it.

Your eyes are like the ocean
but the secret behind them
is that I have no idea
whether,
when I went swimming,
I sank or swam.
But either way
I'm pretty sure that when the storm hit,
I drowned.
Makenzie Marie Jun 2015
Most of the time
it's a four letter word
that you want to avoid.
But this one is different
in so many ways.
It's longer--
in the pangs of pain it leaves...
That pain lasts longer than any butterflies.
Because butterflies come in the beginning,
and no sooner than this word is spoken
their wings are broken
leaving them unwilling and unable to fly.
And the pain you feel,
the pit in your stomach,
and the cloudy darkness in your eyes,
is how this word leaves them to die.
It's the "hell" in hello
(and there's no good part of it,
despite what you've heard.
What does that even mean, parting on "good terms"?).
I mean,
sometimes it's what you need--
this ***** word--
it's sometimes necessary.
But even fragile butterflies' wings
need provocation
to be broken
the glass won't shatter
with simple words unspoken,
or their beauty being forgotten.
Their crystalline glass has to crack
before it meets the breaking point.
But maybe it's best, sometimes, leaving things unsaid.
Maybe it's better
pretending that your heart hasn't bled
for the death
of those beautiful creations.
Maybe all can be well,
not tainting your hello
by dragging it through the muddy waters of hell.
But maybe attempting that
is diving straight into the deep end
damning yourself to all but drown
in that personal
pool of hell....
But maybe once this word is uttered,
you're damning some part of yourself as well
letting go of what once was so special.
And maybe that's why it's a ***** word.
maybe that's why it'd be better
if it were only four letters.
Because this word darkens skies,
and kills butterflies.
It breaks hearts
and diminishes the light
in Innocent's eyes.
This word ends hope
of new beginnings,
or anything close to extra innings.
This word reminds you you've lost the game.
This word finalizes the score,
no matter how much you might want more
time
or conversations,
or butterfly wings.
This word is a light switch,
but it only reads "off."

so say
g̶o̶o̶d̶bye                                              ­    
to the lights
the "maybe"s
the  "someday we might"s
and the butterflies.
Those butterflies died when we uttered goodbye.
The magic in your eyes,
The "make my knees weak" smile,
The "my heart skipped a beat" moment.
The "world stopped turning" for a while.
That electric feeling,
when our elbows touch,
That comforting lie,
"I've missed you so much"
The heat of the moment,
When my hand wraps around your waist,
and I pull you close,
with the other hand on your face,
The "drumroll" leading,
to the firework kiss,
The warm embrace after,
that always makes me wish,
That if clocks could be broken,
Then so would be time,
And I wouldn't have to hurry,
In this paradise of mine,
and all these heavens,
that begin with a hello,
All disappear,
and time begins to slow,
and I try my hardest not to show you,
but no matter how hard I try,
The hell in hello,
is when you say goodbye.
No goodbyes, No goodbyes,
just hellos,
just hellos.
Makenzie Marie May 2015
Tonight the Sky cried for me.
The crickets sang, for me,
The most captivating melody.
The Wind whistled at me,
and wrapped around me, envoloping me in it's beauty.
And for the first time in a long time
I felt at peace,
free of anxiety.
I felt pretty.

And I'm so dang lucky
to hear God's voice in everything
whispering,
"I love you, darling."
Makenzie Marie May 2015
In all honesty
I'm sorry
that you ever fell for me.

Because I'm a black hole:
Dark as heck and ice cold,
Because my blood doesn't circulate just right...
My heart is broken and I feel it most at night
And now you do too, most of the time.

This Abyss tears open and into me...
And you'll get lost in me.
And it's worse than being lost at sea
because there's nothing to see
And there's no one there to hear your screams.

It's drowning in nothing,
Essentially,
Being lost in me,
Now, especially,
worse than anything
Any bad dream.

Because it'll become a dream
pretty as it seems,
It's not, honestly.
And leave it to me
To tear it from your grasp.
Brace for impact.

I'm sorry for everything
I'm sorry that you love me
Or something.

But I shouldn't feel bad
For not loving you back...
I care about you, but the truth hit me like a shark attack.

I was trusting of the deep blue
In your honest eyes...
Unaware that they hid so many lies.
And as I floated on my back
Unsuspecting and relaxed
I stared at the sky...
And the shark attacked.

And now I'm the one drowning
I got trapped and confused in your web of...
black holes and stormy skies.
Makenzie Marie May 2015
This silence
Between us
Used to make my heart
Believe in love.

But maybe
The truth you hid
Is that it's just
lust
And lies
And cloudy skies.

Now it's...
Something wrong
a skipped line in your favorite song
And a city collapsing
Under the weight of our unsaid words
Everything going unheard.

I know the weight
that your tone of voice carries.
It's scary.
And I know you can hear the meaning
Behind my "I'm sorry"

And I'm sorry about that.
2am isn't the same anymore.
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