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Rebel Heart Apr 2017
Well I'm crashing, barely breathing
The feeling I've lost all control
On the driver's seat, but who's driving?
I'm sitting slowly losing my soul

You told me it would get better
Told me to give it some time.
Is it time enough now though,
Now that I'm bleeding out in rhyme

Flipping over and over again
While broken shards of memories lost
Burn through my bleeding brain.

Crashing and turning over again
While sounds of sirens drown me out
Driving me insane

Yet the impossible promises never stop
"You're going to be okay"
I'm gasping and drowning for air
While you're begging me to stay

So close to the end
And I never felt more alive
I just took a shortcut out
Of this never-ending drive

"...in a major accident..."
And the voices are drowned out by chimes
Because the only mistake I ever made
Was struggling to live all this time

So what's so bad about that?
I'l never see the finish line
But there was nothing waiting for me there anyway
Except a simple "dead end" sign
A poem I dug up from about a year ago but still gets my feelings right today
(Front page 4/15/17)
Rebel Heart Apr 2017
Well life never goes as planned
And some dreams never meant to come true
So I'll forever be stuck in the sand
Though I just want to start anew.

A clean slate, A clean soul
With no past haunting me
A new name, A new goal
To live like I was meant to be.

No more bad decisions
No more stupid rhymes
No more dealing with feelings
Or any more tough times.

I'll keep my mouth shut this time
No sharing secrets or more pain
Be the perfect person I want to be
Not this broken girl gone insane.

Then maybe I can make her happy
That little girl stuck staring at the sky
And turn these useless words to something
So life could be more than a lie...
Part 3 sneak peak (unedited version) of my new lyrical journey collection "Destination: Life".
Please leave criticism, advice, ideas, or just stop by to say hi in the comments. If anyone would be interested in reading more parts of this, feel free to message me. :)
Rebel Heart Apr 2017
So sick of seeing familiar faces
So done with this whole joke.
So tired of the same old places
And these memories so broke.

Well you told me it'd get better
You sang it to me in rhyme.
But words can't make life sweeter
And I'm just stuck in time.

My plastic smiles have faded
My hope vanished somewhere.
The only option left is to run
To I don't know where.

Running away from myself
While trying to reach this goal
Never running fast enough
To escape out of this hole.

So tell her sorry for me
The little girl with so many dreams,
She just wanted to touch the stars
And not be so broken at the seams...
Part 1 sneak peak (unedited version) of my new lyrical journey collection "Destination: Life".
I dug up pieces of this believe it or not from middle-school me and decided to edit it and make it into a great collection.
Please leave criticism, advice, ideas, or just stop by to say hi in the comments.
Rebel Heart Mar 2017
Settling back into the rhythm
Of our heart's beating rhyme
Hoping we can work again,
But something's off this time...

We were perfect for eachother
But that was before I was broken
Into little shards of nothingness
While my feelings were left unspoken...

Yet like a hero you came for me
To pick up my metallic remains.
To put me back together
And free me of these chains...

But sweetheart I wish you then knew
That paper that's wrinkled and ripped too
Can't be put back together by glue
And I'm a broken machine missing a *****...

Now every tick of the tock
And every beat of your heart
Just keeps reminding me that
We're closer to falling apart...

You thought you could save me
But I'm an unfixable machine
Now we're just clinging on to
Nothing but a hopeless dream...

Yet while you'll soon move on
And find a better fit
I'll shrivel up and die
Alone in this deep little pit...
Not finished but fragments of this came to me and I had to put it to words. Hopefully I'll go back and edit this soon. This poem really doesn't have much to do with a clock but every time I read through it I find more versions of what these words could mean in a metaphorical sense. I guess words are powerful and beautiful yet so broken in that way...
Rebel Heart Feb 2017
I'm an artist they say...
I painted my illusions of dreams
I drew on a smile everyday,
I was happy, so it seemed

But my palette ran low
As my colors faded grey
Now my life holds on by a thread
And I'm just fighting just to stay

Because as the days go on,
I let these colors bleed through.
From my paper to my skin,
I'm nothing but red, black, and blue.

I turned myself into a canvas
Trying to describe this strife
But it wasn't beautiful at all
For my paintbrush was a knife

And my paintings are nothing but
empty promises of what we once knew
The only color left in my life
Are my memories of you
We're all artists in our canvas called life. Choose which colors to paint...
Rebel Heart Feb 2017
In a room full of people
Yet I'm so empty inside
So tired of putting on these masks
With nowhere to hide

Under my bed
in the midst of the night
my demons run loose
and keep me up with fright

I'm constantly running
Away from myself
Screaming, shouting, crying
For anyone to help

And as the sun rises
I've survived another day
Still clinging on to the hope
That this will all go away
Short version of the poem that inspired my new song
Rebel Heart Feb 2017
I'm slipping away again
Deep into the unknown
Into this dark void of nothingness
Where my true colors are shown

In this valley of dark shadows
Dark monsters reign from the past
Stuck within a world of my own demons
I don't know how long I'll be able to last.

I thought I finally had a home
Somewhere I belonged and cared
But I guess that was an illusion too
Along with the life I thought we shared

And I'm just wandering these empty alleys
Hiding from the monsters inside
They'll hunt me down and tear me apart
Till I have nothing left but pride

Pride that I didn't give in
Somehow I survived another day
I managed to watch another sunset
Wishing my problems would just go away

When you think everyday is your last
That these demons will finally **** you
Then what's left to live for in this world?
Besides the broken pieces of what we once knew...

But I can't show you what hides behind
my mirage of this rainbow of hopeful colors.
The color red bleeds on my skin
While black and grey everything covers

Because I breathe in nothing but ashes
And the shadows of what once used to be
I'm stuck between a valley of empty promises
Behind this illusion I put out for you to see

In truth, I'm just a broken girl
Simply too weak to survive
Yet there's nothing more I can possibly do
Then put on a plastic smile and hide.

Because though I seem to be just fine
My true colors are bleeding through
They pop up on my skin,
Colors red, black and blue.
And when I'm running from my demons
My only thought is of you
Seeing another day would've been easier
If only you just knew.
This one's long but I started writing it in class today and couldn't stop. Just emotions from everything going on this past week just flowed out into so many strings of random thoughts/poetry. This poem was one of the many I wrote today (the least depressing one) and I guess I just need some bit of hope to hold on to for a while. The 'you' in this story isn't one but multiple people, which goes to remind you all you need is just one person to come up and tell you everything is going to be alright. I'm just so tired of that one person always having to be myself
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