it was 3 a.m. and i'm gazing into the open sky
into the darkness that lies ahead.

it was black , obviously (or was it grey?)
it was black but it wasn't evil or anywhere near it.

i was happy
because it was only me and the open sky
the fresh night air
and the stars, never to forget the lovely moon.

the scene changed

i was drowning in the open sea
nobody knew i was out here
i took this risk alone
and i know i might die of hypothermia here.

it was 3 a.m. and there's this
roller-coaster of emotions i felt
this vigorous scenes changing
and constantly fading.

9.00 a.m.
it took me 6 hours later
to realize that the stars i was staring at
actually they were your eyes.

and the ocean i'm drowning in
was your cold, stiff embrace.

i am a silent soul,
forget about me, if you must.

but one day you'll wake up
to find my bed made, but empty.
i will be off to nowhere,
but i will get everywhere.

i'll scatter myself from the sky like ashes,
i'll fall like the rains of July,
i'll kiss mountain tops like the snow of December,
i'll drift around like the golden leaves of October,
and i will be left to the wind.

i will no longer be a soul
trapped in this cage of flesh and bones,
i will run through the world,
writing post cards about all i will see and do,
but sending them to nobody.

they say that
if you imagine
something
vividly enough
so many times
you'll begin
to believe
it really happened

(example
a. blood)

but believing
something
without it ever
having happened
doesn't give you any
extra lessons learned

(example
b. blood)

and you've seen things
in your mind's eye
enough times
to know

(a steak knife to
the throat or a
pile of pills
down the hatch)

that you haven't
learned anything
except how to
lie awake for half
the night while your
brain plays tricks on you

(a noose in
the woods
an overflowing
bathtub in red)

it starts hurting
physically
after awhile
a tightness in
the chest that
just won't go
an ache behind
your eyes
a twist
in your stomach

(the yellow line
a pair of headlights
in the middle
of the night)

it keeps you up
just imagining
mental pictures on
the screen of your
eyes that you
can't shut off

(a railroad bridge
the scene of some
prior and future
disappointment)

flashes around the
bathroom mirror at
four in the morning
on a saturday night
when you can't
breathe

(example
c. blood)

worst of all
you're afraid.

it's all okay,
it's all alright,
finally.

things get weird,
it gets bad,
suddenly.

there's no reason why,
things get me down,
quickly.

i don't know,
i don't understand,
how this goes.

things get better,
then they fall apart for no reason,
and it all goes to ****.

Sometimes
We cherish the good
In our past relationships
That it eclipses the bad
And we forget
Why we walked away