Depression is hell and tis a *****.
I hear Lucifer himself whispering.
You, 'buddy', are a mole. You're a snitch.
I'm numb, angry, sad. So **** confusing.
I can't trust anyone. What, why, how, which?

I'm not sure just what am I writing..
You want poetry. Not my ranting..
I can't help myself. I feel helpless..
I'm not weak. Done that, been places.

Forgive me for wasting your time.
Venting, words are dozen a dime..
They don't always make sense.
Heck, nor do I.. No surprises.

I think, I oughta shut up now...
Made enough fool of myself..
Will share happy thoughts..
When, and if it all, I ain't so low..

How strange is it, how weird it is
You bless me with your company
Only and only when you need me
You know I'm right, ain't talking crazy.

I bring it up cuz it just struck me..
Everytime I asked if you were free
If you had time to spend with me
Times when I needed you, like, really..

Oddly, mysteriously, inexplicably
You were caught up, you were busy..
I'd say okay, only to find you all cuddly
With strangers online, giggly and flirty..

If I were to do the same, abandon thee
You'd question my friendship, my integrity
Am I being possessive? Am I being needy?
Hey, I dunno.. Why don't you enlighten me?

You like to say, I'm crazy, albeit affectionately
That I undertand you more than your family
You'd said I'm your best friend, ***** buddy
Then why aren't you ever there, only for me?

Within every heart's winter..
Lies, frozen carcasses of days gone by..
And flowers wither..
You know life's not worth living,
And yet you hold on,
When the Sun gives you the cold shoulder..

it wasn't your hair I fell in love with whilst ignoring your smile..
it wasn't your clothes I fell in love with whilst ignoring your style..
it wasn't your mind I fell in love with whilst ignoring your heart..
it wasn't your poems I fell in love with whilst ignoring your art..
it wasn't your letters I fell in love with whilst ignoring your tweets..
it wasn't your **** I fell in love with whilst ignoring your teats..
it wasn't your knowledge I fell in love with whilst ignoring your quirks..
it wasn't your presence I fell in love with whilst ignoring your pause..

it wasn't a woman I fell in love with whilst ignoring her soul.. it wasn't a girl I fell in love with but a human whole..

I know full well, you're as silly as you're sensible..
I know full well, you're scared of our journey uphill...
I know full well, you're afraid you won't satisfy me..
I know full well, you have left your heart with me..
I know full well, in you I can trust..
I know full well, there's God n he'll be just..

I do hear you cry.. I  do feel your pain.. I wince when u ache.. Babe, i promise... This won't go in vain..!

it wasn't your laughter I fell in love with whilst ignoring your tears.. The day we're together as one, is not far, not far, for it nears..

~ D.

I know I'm crazy..
Cuz, so said the doc
I'm sure, I'm crazy.
I love you and here's my ****.
But first, the daisies.
They're, I am, only for thee.

Said I was sweet
But no way in hell.
Slammed the door
What was I thinking?
Why'd I ring the bell?

Oh, the heartache, the agony.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Billy..

What'd I do? Can't go on living..
Think! For once... For once.
Razors! Yes!! Get 'em. Cut 'em.
Wrists lay limp and bleeding.

I tried to fly, far far away..
Landed where the cuckoos lay..

We sit in a circle. We're expected to talk.
Nurse in tight uniform, can't help but gawk.

Billy? Start the discussion, today?
N-no Mam. Got n- nothing to say.
Day after day after day after day.

In comes, the crook Murphy.
Nurse Ratched hates him..
Born a miscarriage, he liked to say.
Been away, said he, for a long time.
Girl he ******* was 15, going on 35.

Stole our cigarettes, turned the music down.
There's a game tonight, n I'm going to town.
Course, he didn't.. Fountain's too heavy.
Least I tried.. Did that much, I tried, didn't I?

They all hated him.
Envied him, but wouldn't say.
See, they'd all volunteered.
While Murphy, he really was crazy.

He became my mentor and i his protégé..
I laughed. I played. Had fun. I gambled.
I even stood up to Nurse Ratched.
That was the first time. **** it felt good.

Murphy knew. And told me too..
I wasn't crazy, don't need to stay
I didn't need doctors, nor lil pill gray.
I needed, a warm body, to make love to..

But how? And Nurse Ratched?
Why bother her? Why tell her?
She'll call a friend.. She'll call my mother..
She won't get it, Murph. She never does.
Billy, my boy, has she ever, the Big Nurse?

My friend was leaving. Party ensues in the cuckoo's nest.
Drinks, music, pretty ladies.. Crazies were in wild wild west.
Murphy whispers, she laughs. Heads my way, takes my hand.
I look back. Thank him silently. Craziest, kindest soul in all the land.

I wake up naked.. I'd made love. It was a new day.
Nurse Ratched looks at me. Like embers, her eyes were lit.
Aren't you ashamed, Billy? I was happy.. No, I say.
She says she's worried, how my mother would take it..

Emotions hit me from all directions.
Fear, guilt, shame all at once....
I beg her, Please don't call my mom
Have mercy please, won't you, Big Nurse?

All these days, I thought I was crazy..
In comes Murphy, makes me happy..
I wasn't crazy. I needed love, I was hungry.
Murph, was going out. He was a free bird.
He saw the whole thing. He didn't. Heard me cry.

It was kind of him to try on my behalf.
He's just a kid, he said, to all the staff..
But, I knew no one would cut me some slack.
Ratched wouldn't budge n I'd face the flack..

I'd had enough of this ****...
This life, this ****** pursuit.
I ain't crazy. Cuz Murphy said so, goddamit.
I lived, blissful, ecstatic. For just one night..
Wasn't that enough? Wasn't it alright?

I cut my wrists again, deeper this time..
No more drama, no pantomime..
I lived n I loved. Tis time for me to die.
I'm not crazy.. Not crazy. Or am I....??

Thinking of and missing you..
Eyes wide shut, I blindly stare.
A spark jolted me awake..
Twas from my cigarette's ember..

I don't just wish and crave for ****** ******* with you.
I need and desire my spirits to die little deaths with you too.

I don't just wish to know if U saw me in your dreams and found the petals between your legs wet in the morning.
I need to know how and when U swam upstream in your life when U had to.

I don't just wish to know if you'd sleep with me.
I need to know if you would let me lick your tears too.

I don't just wish to rest my head on your ******* and kiss them.
I need to know if you would rest your head on my shoulders too.

I fell in love with your intellect before I saw how beautiful you are.
You may be a lot of things but you're not a mad hatter..

But I would be lying to both you and me if I were to deny that I find you deeply ****** and claimed not to lust for you.

I would be dishonest to myself and you if I said that I only loved your heart and did not moan thinking about you.

Now, do I love you? Yes my dearest friend I do love you..

~Dipansh

becoming friends, falling in love,
seduction and heaven.................
all without a single spoken word.
the look in her eyes..
dusky, dreamy, soul gazing,
understanding, inviting.
a subtle nudge..a cryptic thought..
a picture shared..a quote quoted..
******* heave, without a warning..
breathless........ inexplicably.........
nostrils flared though,
are inadequate to satiate..
breathing now, openmouthed..
once, twice..
an audible sigh..
a long loud warm breath out.
panic ensues..
'did someone hear? did anyone see?'
and the eyes..now restless..
look at all that God created..
and nothing at all..
a million thoughts invading the mind..
and all that.. all of them at the same time..
a hand on *****, 'calm the **** down..!!'
sweat on upper lips..is that condensation?
irrelevant..!! wiped off..no signs of it remain.
a calming breath..a fake smile..
and love is extinct..
at least for now................

He wrote words that enticed her
whispered musings to ****** her
made her body tingle without touch
cajoled her heart with bleeding ink

He was half the world away
yet, she felt him so close 
he connected with every part
body, soul, heart and mind

Every word was woven on her heart
his voice echoed, enchanting gracefully
intoxicating every beat of her life
the distance had become too much 

He heard a knock on the door
there she was dressed in black
her aroma grabbed his senses
her smile left him helpless

Eyes locked in serene silence
he could hear her heart pulsating
as he placed his palm on her cheek
her whole body felt paralysed
as the hair on her neck raised
calmly he stroked her dark hair
beautifully elegant, complimenting
her soft tender delicate bronze skin
gently he placed his lips on her mouth
succulently kissing her glowing lips
finally tasting his beloved's nectar

Her eyes shut with ecstatic delirium
he kissed every part of her body
she no longer had any control
as he cultivated her body
planting his seed deep inside
passionately she whispered his name
as their bodies harvested
thrusting deeper and faster
with his tongue carving every inch
of her body like a chisel

Volcanic desire erupted
his words were now her reality
his embrace her sanctuary
as he held her tight
whispering promises
to never let her go

If my words don't move you..
Don't shake you to the core
Nor enliven your soul..
And dreams are afire no more

Tis best I keep 'em to myself

You stood there,
Sensuous, beautiful.
Like Venus herself..
I stood there,
Kissing you, touching you.
Only, from the shadows...

Not the sweetest kiss.
Nor heated embrace
Taste of thy fount of life
Nor thy ***** I'll miss.

Thou art exquisitely beautiful.
A mere touch might soil thee
All I want.. All I need.. All I crave
Is for thee to love me n only me

Just when I have hit
The earth's very core..
I'm told there's pain
Afresh, anew, galore..

I wasn't like this always
Colourful, could carry tune
Sunrise, birds, sea waves
All lost, all of them now gone..

He loves us. He is kind.
Really? I wonder, I wonder.
Tell me then, almighty thee
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?