The recollection of screaming and
tears breaks every wave of my
thoughts. The sheets remembered
the melody of you, and I can still
smell you dancing within in the air
of my desolated thoughts.


The screams had made a home inside of
my ears, and I brought them forward
everyday; I just wanted to remember
something of you.

Your tears.
Oh, God.
Your tears.
I drowned in them every night.
I never bothered to learn the
swim; I felt closer to you the
more I struggled to pull a
harrowing breathe from the lungs of
a being I did not recognize as myself.

I felt closer when meals turned into
a nightmare; when my bones stabbed
at my skin; threatening to push through
the shell of me.

I especially felt close when the metallic
barrel of my father’s gun whispered
sweet nothings; appealing demons I had
buried six feet under.

But even though I tried to feel so close
to you again,
I could not forgive the memories
within my mind for bringing
you home to me everyday. -DDF

She loved when they
made love
and her heart
would peak

She loved the kisses he
planted upon her
cheeks

She loved the lazy
afternoons spent
in the Sunday
sheets

She loved the hands
that could make
her high
without any measure

She made no mention
of
her guilty pleasures

With each day she
would have never
guessed that
he would make her
pay

The bruises he left
were contradictions
to the kisses he
had once planted

The lazy afternoons
were filled with screaming
and *** without
love

But she stayed

She stayed

Why did she stay?

-DDF

You could illuminate as bright as the North Star
but you're settling for a shine as insignificant as
a street light in a crowded city.

I write with shaking hands,
I'm about to hold yours,
And I can only imagine,
It will feel like holding the universe.

You’re the painter
and
I am the canvas

You mix blues
and purples
into my skin

Your brushes
are the fists
of a flawed
childhood

I am the pale canvas
of
love

I am patient
as your anger
swells

I wait for
your artwork
to form along
my skin

This is sick
I know
But all I can
say is

“Paint me
and
Make me beautiful” -DDF

You are about to enter

a Soldier’s Creed

Where my loved one knew

that running and being

were of equal value


She was on the edge,

but I told her, “Be strong.”

She spoke about her

cousin, Death


She told me about

the people she would

meet in Heaven


I know this much is true.

I enclosed her within

a burned heart-shaped

box

Identical to a safe haven


She wanted to be released from

the tyranny of conscious thoughts

“If I stay…?” A collateral question


But I knew self-control

was a religion she

did not practice


Just one day, I’ll be home

with a Red Badge of

Courage upon my lapel


One day she’ll know

I am the best bad luck

she’ll ever have


I promise her the

moon and more

But she never knew

she was a Homeward Angel


An American tragedy


I was fighting for

my Country, when

a war was raging

in plain sight


She left me for dead


In her eyes, I was

a destroyer of the

world


I was gambling in

America

My loss was not

of money, but

of love


“Difficult times lie ahead.”

I hear this everyday now

She was my *******

fire, her flames

had been

distinguished


She realized I was

her God

So I promised;

Sometime, somewhere, someday,
I know we will meet again.  -DDF

I beg myself, "Stay alive."
I am my own hero
And ******* it,
I want somebody to notice
The dying soul in my eyes,
The shaky voice,
The cold heart,
The scars on my wrists from an absent
childhood happiness
I'm drowning in a puddle,
Everyone looks at my collapsing lungs,
Too afraid to reach down
Save me
The words I scream silently everyday,
Hoping one day someone will hear
Save me
It's too late now
These pills look like a perfect
escape. -DDF

There is no way to tell
how cold it used to be
But
Everybody wore
The sun and finding
You out there was
Standard practice.
You'd go in and close
The door behind you,
And
The man nearest you
Would
**** you back onto
The ice
and without a backward glance,
you would fall
I don’t understand
Why won’t you just
look at me? -DDF