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  Jan 2016 Jennifer
faithfulpadfoot
I see you
with this idea filling
your head, filling
your eyes with fire,
so everything around you is aflame;
You try to douse it with your words, tripping
out of your mouth like
shoelaces, your tongue
is sandpaper, wearing away
at your lips, but you don't
care;
You are smiling,
And your world is filled with possibility.
My child, to you,
everything is possible,
and you can be anything,
and everything.
Jennifer Jan 2016
I thought you loved me,
so I spoke my thought aloud,
but love from me is nothing if it’s broke

You thought it must be a joke,
and as you said it aloud you considered,
who could love me for what I am
but that part you kept closed,
leaving me hollow with your shattering response.

And so I thought you just felt bad
and in light of this situation you tried to make me laugh
as friends do in such awkwardness.

But your jester like quality only brought me hurt
as all my truth and honesty was for nothing,
I thought it was for nothing…

And so I never knew the truth.
Jennifer Jan 2016
I love the idea of smoke,
the fumes clinging to my lungs
and the exasperated gasp to regain air.

The smoke that can burn down a home,
a place filled with memories to be ruined,
ashes of forgotten darkness.

A smoke that can be a sign,
a scream for help and danger.
A reassurance to others of your struggle.

I like your smoke,
the intoxication of your breath,
mixing with mine in a moment of relief.
Before the bitter after taste of realisation.

For nothing can bring me joy,
nothing more than smoke can make me suffer.
Jennifer Jan 2016
Stop, I can’t fall for you, I’m not allowed,
I’m not allowed to speak out to you
For speaking to you would hurt me more,
bringing me the realisation it will never happen.

Instead I will sit here and write,
I’ll write you encrypted poems you’ve seen,
without knowing they’re for you,
a sign of how I feel for you.

But you don’t get it do you?
How would you know what I feel
when I don’t even know how I feel for you.

The simple answer is you wouldn’t.
You could rip my skin and hear it peel
and not understand that it hurts.
All you would do is see the process
and continue on your way.

I’m screaming for you to talk to me,
as talking to me would bring me a relief,
a relief that it wasn’t all in my head,
that I wasn’t assuming it all.

So end my emotional torture before
I put myself out of this misery and try again.
Jennifer Jan 2016
I want to run away with you,
Although I barely know you, thats why we’d go,
no past, no ruin, no hurt
Just an adventure for me and you.
A relentless journey to find each other ,
jump off cliffs and write our stories.
Whilst starring into each others souls,
And the speckled sunlight peers though the crevasses
of doors at dawn because we’ve spoke through the night,
forgetting that time itself exists.

Let’s run.
Jennifer Jan 2016
I want to drown you so I can forget your face,
Pretend like you never existed here
because being here means you are real,
and this reality has broken something I once had ,
leaving me suffocating in my own silence

For the sands of time should be non-existent
as it’s abilities cannot be changed for just one love,
a love that can be forgotten but never altered,
a desire that can never be tamed but only burn brighter

And finally comes my downfall in this bottomless pit,
where only I stand alone in regret and solitude
For the fault here is mine,
For requiring something I cannot take,
rather only something that can be given with sincerity

But to leave this with dignity is too far gone to ask,
A wish of mine that can never be realised,
a pursuit of mine that can only be a paradox
instead of a fixed truth or reality

The unknown silence is killing me.
  Jan 2016 Jennifer
Ellie Shelley
Don’t become infatuated
Don’t fall in love
Especially not with poets
Because they only ever exist in their words
They will write you love poems, and lengthy paragraphs
With words said in ways you have never heard before
You will fall in love, with love poems, the way they say their vowels, and the look in their eyes when they read to you  
They will lull you to sleep with sticky sweet words
And they will speak of the colour yellow, in a new light
A new meaning will come to its definition
And it will slowly become your favorite colour
You will wear yellow dresses, and put daisies in every room  
You will see the speckles of yellow in their brown eyes
But you will find them at three in the morning sitting in the bath tub, bathing in the words of metaphors
You will find them having an affair with Stanzas and Verses at the same time, sleeping with sonnets
You will see that poetry was always their mistress
At night they will no longer share blankets with you, but they will wrap themselves in ballads and couplets
You will only be able to express this new distance with eulogies
You will start seeing yellow everywhere
In the beds of your nails, and them hems of your skirts
Till you start seeing it so often that you will want to puke up every word they have ever said to you
You will realize that talk is cheap and Rhymes are easy
You will realize that poets only ever exist in their words

Wait I.. I take that back
Fall in love with oddly pronounced vowels, love poems, lengthy paragraphs, and sparking eyes
Wear yellow dresses again
Pick a bouquet of daisies
Fall in love with 2 a.m. again
But not with just anyones 2 a.m.
Fall in love with yours
Get swept up in the arms of personification
Drink sticky sweet words, get drunk off yourself
Have a love affair with stanzas
Kiss verses on the lip
Wrap up your wounded parts with haikus
Become infatuated with metaphors
Whisper sweet nothings to yourself
Fill your nights with praise poems
And love songs
Tear up every eulogy you have ever written
Knit yourself a blanket from all the unfinished poems, all your couplets
Sing ballads to yourself
And write sonnets in the moonlight
Fall in love with rich words and complex rhymes
Don’t worry about falling out of love this time
This is two combined poems, the first one is one I've already put on here. I'm using this for an audition to try to get on my schools poetry team. LTAB (Louder Than A Bomb)
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