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Antonia Sep 2024
walking down the road
steps on crunchy leaves

looking up and down
humming to myself

feel the chilly breeze
smell the autumn air

taking it all in
each step, each leaf, each day
before you realise

another seasons passed,
and it’s already May
what a great challenge it is, to remain present..
Antonia Sep 2024
I’m feeling heavier than iron
my chest, my arms, my legs
feel numb
it feels impossible to breathe
like i am deep under the water

and i could hear my body sinking
the lungs,
now slowly filling up with liquid

no hope.

just death in sight

my tongue is stuck,
my hands are tight,
i feel the weight
of my mistakes

i  just so desperately want
to get some air and breathe again

but not this time,
my demon says

as I am drowning
once again
this is how a panic attack feels for me, haven’t had one in a while, but it used to be the norm when I was younger. If you’re going through tough times, just know they never last. I am doing much better now, and hopefully you can take this as a message of hope. Things do get better, just hang in there, stop running from your feelings, the only way out, is through.
  Sep 2024 Antonia
rk
you left
and suddenly i realised
why we started naming storms
after people.
- i wonder if the scent of thunder meeting earth haunts your memories.
Antonia Sep 2024
awareness or
the lack thereof
there is a self,
regardless of
the stupid things
you wish to be
and all those masks you hide behind

a sens of self
is all there is
it’s not a gift
that you receive
it’s that,
the only thing there
is

that’s all you got
that’s all you are
enjoy and swim in it
till dawn

it’s more than life,
it’s cheating death
it simply is,

the sense of self.
Antonia Sep 2024
staring at myself
and for the first time in
years
i see her
light, the joy, the spark
she’s back
ready to embrace it all again
Antonia Sep 2024
my empty couch
just stares at me
wondering why I won’t sit down
since you left
  Sep 2024 Antonia
The Red Woman
i opened my window
and the wind blew in
turning over a page
telling me
that it was time
to start a new chapter
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