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Hello Daisies Nov 2018
today i am love sick
Yesterday i was reckless
This year i am entirely lost

I let my heart break so quick
I have been crying like a complete mess
My heart was frozen into a frost

I laughed when told to enjoy these moments
I cried when told these would be my best years
I broke because this has been the worst year of all

But now in this car the night soothes the torment
Because i realize from this hell trip that  I lived through so many fears
I braved through it and got up after every fall

No one would understand the terror in my mind
The sadness in my soul
The feeling of having your gut constantly churn

Sometimes i stop and feel  growth changing within my mind
I'm learning to let awful things go
Alanis morrisette really was right when she said you live and you learn

I am so reckless
I'm currently deeply heartbroken
A rising alcholic with noone to call my own
Crying at every failure


But I'll look back at this and learn it's ok to be a mess
Having my heart broke made my eyes open
I wanted to live life and I'm being shown
That to have fun and love I'll have to often be a total failure
Ive been going through so very much. Very deoressed and stressed. Possibly worst year if my life. But i keep going and i dont know how. Im terrified it'll get worse but after this trip i had i realized some things. The trip was my last hope for something good to happen. While it didnt work out that way it taught me to let things go and to be ok with being reckless right now. Just don't go too far. And that no matter what i can be strong. Im still finding myself
Hello Daisies Nov 2018
Life is like a game of chess
I've been thinking about this a lot as i try to rest
Intially it's a game you strive to play with another
Playing chess alone wouldn't be worth the bother

Now i know probably not original to compare life to chess
But i cant help see the resemblance, if i may stress
Chess gives you many players to help you along
With those players comes choice right or wrong

Every move you make causes another to act one way
Later you might regret not letting that piece stay
You have a goal to make it out safe and win
And of course you try to succeed even with a little sin

A many time you may be trapped by another
Maybe a piece you counted on turned into a bother
You stragetize every move in order to survive
But at the same time won't win unless luck is on your side

Sometimes it's hard to see through the chaos which move to pick
One day you'll be a queen feeling mighty and slick
But one wrong move and you'll feel useless as a trapped pawn
But the game doesn't end until your last breath is drawn

No matter how hard you fight you may find yourself in ultimate checkmate
causing a panic and crying you lost your fate
Or you may find you succeeded your goal and came out safe and sound
Though either way you are still not bound

With whichever result you find yourself in
You can always  start over with a new beginning
Although im sure most can relate
That mostly every game of chess you'll play ends in a stale mate
Idk just thinking a lot and super anxious and exhausted
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
Today a chill blew through me
Today I decided to skip
Today I breathed in the soft brisk air

Today i felt a jump in my heart finally
Today i feel like i can take on 500 pirate ships
Today the wind softly blew through my hair

Today is special
For today i felt a twinkling in my soul
Yesterday i felt it as well
A feeling in my heart it's quite swell

Today i feel potential
For tomorrow my darkness will also be stole
Because today i stood still
And realized I am happy and i think I'll be tomorrow as well
Hi i feel lovely in the autumn weather it really brings out the best in me its so chilly and some good things have been hapeneing!! its been awhile but i hope the good things stay ❤
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
Everything i write
is about flowers and death
I think this is a sign
I want to be free

I can't take this boxed  in life
I want to run
Any chance i get

Fourty hours work in a hole
Is not who i am
I want to be in the wind

Flowers bloom with color
Their pedals flow through the breeze
Moving through and growing more life

I cannot have such a life
Therefore i want to run
But run to where?
The only solution i ever find

Is death
Death is the only freedom i know
But maybe I'll live
For the promise
That after this hell
We'll all be free
More then we can ever know
I want to be a hippie peace loving rv driving wonderer. But it's harder then it seems in life. Life just brings me down all too often.
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
Lesson learned
After i got burned
Not the first nor the third
No it took many hits before i learned

Sometimes you have to fall
Deep into hell and crawl
Before you can find any meaning and stand tall
You'll hit and hit so many walls

One day you'll be free
Tell yourself no more stupidity
Until you get wrapped into it again suddenly

Life brought tricks and sneaks to get you
To go back and make the same mistakes you always do
It's just a test to see if you'll make it through

Cause i guess it'll never stop until the lesson has been learned
Good ol tricky life trying to pull the same bologna it did to me before, but i refuse! I cried it out and got hurt until i stopped and realized maybe some people were right. Even if i hate the reasons why i can't change them and it's just breaking me so I'll learn my lesson and move on
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
Driving in the rain
My brain starts to yell
Obscenities i cannot tell
To anyone for they are but shame

I want to **** me
But i dont i feel bad
I can't understand why my mind is mad
At myself what did i do I'm trying hopelessly

My heart pounds
I nearly crash
I move my car in a swerved dash
My body is shaking through the ground

I can't breathe
Im crying and shaking
What is my mind making
I just want to leave
Having a panic attack
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
My darkest hour
Is not when i hurt myself
Is not when i cry all night

My darkest hour
Is not when i have no wealth
Is not when I lose my might

My darkest hour
Is when my friend is in bad health
Is when my neighbor is lost in sight

My absolute darkest horror
Is when she's crying to herself
Is when she tries not to live another night

Is when i can't do a thing to help
My friends are going through awful tbingd right now and thegre far away and im hurt for them and i feel sick *** i can't help
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