The emptiness in my heart fills up my head
Silent motion in the dark that crowds up my bed
And I feel so light
I'm barely making a dent in my mattress
Now I fear the doubt is starting to compliment my sadness
I'm an open book
But all you'll read is dampness
If you like scribbles maybe you can untangle this madness
Cause Lord knows I've tried but I end up on a blank page
And I'll spend my weekends filling it up for days
I'm fond of the clouds
But I adore the sun rays
I hope can still hear the laughter
Everytime a child plays
Locked in my room where the covers they smother my mood
Until all this gloom somehow becomes understood

I find peace not in their hatred
But in my love
For they hate who I am
But I've never shown another face
For the face I've shown is the one I own
And the face they hate is one in the same
So if they hate
This face is to blame
But I find solace in the truth thereof
For if I wore a mask
There'd be a question to ask
Do they hate the mask or the owner thereof?

Drip drip drip
She enters leaking from every hole
Creating paddles on all my surfaces
Slip slip slip
I fall as I follow her
Sailing all my boats in her direction
Ship ship ship
On the oceans she makes
Sending me meandering merrily down the stream

drinking coffee to feel a buzz
doesn't take the place of feeling love
but feeling anything at all will be enough
to keep my waking hours from fading out

The sky looks wider from inside a box
Said the seeds from amongst the rocks
And boys in school shorts before they're lose
Now remember those days from from their past

First I cried
Then I laughed

I carried my own body across the finish line
And there I sank to the ground knowing that my knees have earned the rest I give them now...

I cried until I forgot I was crying over you
By then I was just crying because it was the only thing I knew how to do

I moped around for hours
Dragging my feet and friends behind me
Turning my heart into slop
Clogging up every vein inside me

Let us drink until we fall over
Leaning over each others shoulders
Stumbling in and out of our loafers
Forgetting which corner leads to home
Let us laugh and cry like babies or mad men
Play the fool with reckless abandon
Slur our words so that no one understands them
Until all our ****** pigeons have flown
Let us pour a single then a double
Sending droplets over our stubble
In the morning there's be trouble
But tonight we'll take the thrown

While I put anger aside
And try my best to be kind
Say something nice whether true or fake
But though the world would be fine
On just love and sunshine
Sometimes all you can do is hate

Whether falling or flying
The air seems inviting
So I leap without trying
And fall without dying

My loneliness is dark green
And crawls up in spirals around me
Is feels of wetness and moss and other fermented things
And drips back down in puddles at my feet
Its damp and cold and sharp and real
Thats my loneliness
But how does your loneliness feel?

I wish I was a burning ball of gas ripping through the air,
so that you could look at me while I was up there,
and not be aware,
and not even care,
that you're the reason I left my body,
and shed my skin and other parts of it,
to become something so bare and rare and perfect and orange,
that you forgot to breathe when you came across it,
and you'd stand there with your chin up,
lip parted at the sky above,
wondering how God could've created with love,
but never explained its beauty to no one,
and I'd rip and twirl and burst and whirl,
before your eyes like shimmering pearl,
and you'd never know that I was just a girl,
who left herself to brighten your world.

watch out lover because I am in motion
running so fast to you that I'm floating
till my body hits you so hard we'll be broken
but **** its so fun when its me that you're holding
I'll crash and burn in your heart that I've stolen
fall asleep on your chest and hear it exploding
you're good like a drink that I wanna get soaked in
a rollercoaster ride I'm strapped to while sloping
we'll walk down the beach on the sand sink our toes in
till we sit by a fire while the mellows are roasting...

I killed a finche, I don't know why
But perhaps a finche was meant to die
Although his wings were grown to fly
Maybe wings don't always touch the sky

After the sun sets
When we've shared all this laughter
When the light has long left
My dear I'm just cancer
But you'll hear me echo for days after
When the wreckage comes and we plagued with disaster
Maybe the laughter will linger a bit longer

I've been lower down on the hill since birth
And I'm jealous of those who are higher on the list
Who never felt or feared the thirst
Of those who didn't get to get to the top first

You wear constellations on your chest
Hidden under your vest
Those stars on your *******
Everytime the sunsets...

Loneliness is a cancer
And I fear I'll die alone
In the ditch in my bed
With this space in my head
Where someone should be
But the only person is me

Why is everything so painful
I don't ever wanna hateful
But I guess that I should be grateful
That I'm feeling anything at all
This hole that I'm in just gets deeper
And I know that I shouldn't linger
But this **** from the past
Build a home in my heart
And I know that it's all my fault...
But just why...

Dont offer me all your  love
Because I will let if fill my gut
I will let me chew you up
And I will never have enough
Until I spit it up
I'm a parasite
But you know it, right?
You let me take a bit
And take a bite
Like a common mite
So dont offer me your love
If you can't give it up
If you can't fill me up
Don't offer me your love

Is it so wrong to just want someone
Without paying the consequences?
Without getting the check or the questions
Be gone in the morning without a lecture
Over is so boring let me be honest
I could get both for the price of one
I'm not modest

Because I don't love you
And see things above you
And want you to touch you
But forget to hug you
There's no stars in your eyes
When I see them through mine
Nor shivers down my spine
Except on the coldest nights
Because I don't love you
And I know that I won't
I won't leave you a letter, or message, or note
And think nothing of the feelings that that would evoke
Because I don't love you
I just simply won't
Because I don't love you
Or think that I would
I don't love your laugher
Or things that I should
I forget it after
With the little things you do
But because I don't love you
Theres no hate for you too
I just like you
And call that the truth

**** me dry
But theres nothing in my blood
No sustenance from my love
You can have your hugs
If you crave a warmth less
Take this empty stuff
**** me dry until you've had enough

My stars are dimming
But the night sky will go on living
Sharing light
Raging agaisnt the dark
And it will do so unfailingly until the end of time
And it will do so unfailingly without me

It smells of flesh
A smell so fresh
So full of vest
It could rip best to shreds
That potency of want
To want so much that you would hunt
Passion driven ambition
Taken to head and turned to ammunition

You have a pretty kind of ugly face
With a silly kind of goofy grace
That I don't mind to see everyday
In a desperate kind of needy way

You said let's not make it personal
And immediately after your bank into me and became a part of my arsenal
To make sure that when you didn't call back it would make me miserable

Your texture
Your waves
Your smell
Your growth
Your glow
Are things that form my love
And I only want someone who loves you as much as I do

What happened to Johnathan was sad,
But what happen to Sarah was equally as bad

Does anyone know what it's like
To gaze upon sight
That doesn't exist,
And fear that when you wake up
You would have lost yourself
If your gazing persists?

Promise that you're not searching anymore
Hurting anymore
Out trying to find more
Like the time before
You were mine

Time, my old friend
Mind giving a sign to your blind friend
About what's in line around the next bend
Because I'm scared that I might bump my head
On the edges that are hidden up ahead

I have found you
But you were better in my dreams
Now real life seems boring
And I want to go to sleep

When you feel insignificant to the story
Like you're just a name to fill a line
In a page everyone's ignoring
You'll be a line I've read a million times

Life is a maze
If not just a time and a place
For rising or crawling or falling from grace
So try your hardest not to make it a race
Because everyone falls at their own pace

I'll stand up out of this hurt
And be done with he entire bit
This lesson will be learned
Peace earned
Bridges bridges burned
This loneliness can eat ****
And I'll be a better person because of it

I hold my breath
And refuse the air
If I let in the oxygen my heart will expand and flutter

My tummy hurts
But my heart worst
10 second love
Hit a growth spurt
With more and more
To insert
Now I ache
In chest under shirt
Of decisions made
Of lessons learned

I hold my breath
When its natural to breath
And I feel my best
When I'm in the west
And you're in the east
But I like your smile
I like how you touch my back
And the fact is that
You're a peach
And you like me back
And it's sad that that's
Why I'll leave

But theres no way in hell
You're holding me down
It's always regrettable to figure that out
If that makes me a fool
It's time that you know
That's who you're loving
But theres no way in hell
No way in hell

I really like you but it's hard enough being a fool for you
To be uncomfortable with every single thought of you
You wear that frown upon your face
I hope behind it hides your grace or something beautiful
If you've got scars in hidden places
Although its charred,  I won't be wasting something beautiful
But can heaven not see you're good?
Can heaven not lend a hand?
Can heaven not open its gates for him?
Help me understand
How a man
Can feel like this?

Here's my head
And here's my heart
Here they are in separate parts
Head on a neck
And the body is gone
Bed is a wreck
But the night is still long
Morning comes
But the hours are wrong
Living in me
But I'm apart
Two sides of me that'll never get along
Forced into a body  where they don't belong
But there's my head
And there's my heart
There's they are in separate parts

I think my soul hates me
I think my soul loves you
And it rips my insides to streads for keeping you two apart

I hated you with all of me
Until you filled the core of me
And slowly without me knowing it
I liked the parts that was shown to me
Now whenever I see your face it seems
I end up feeling like I'm in love with it

I'm afraid to do anything with my dad
Even if I want to speak to him
Because I'm scared they just went I start enjoying spending time with him
He's gonna to start to talk over me and make me feel like him inviting me to do something with him was just a cover up for him wanting to impose his thoughts on another person and hear his own voice. I feel like it didn't even matter which was sitting there listening to him because it was about him the entire time. I love my dad, but I wish he heard me sometimes

She is a blossom of a spring flower
His shoulders as broad like two stable towers
In spring rainfall, in gentle showers
Swear there is no greater love than ours
He is a beam that stretches to the clouds
Head sweet and pretty and savvy and proud
Her eyes carry punches that crack gravel ground
Brown and deep, and potent and loud
Come at my chest until all desenses are down
Swear there is no love greater than ours
As good a frame with us in the middle
Either one or the other
Who can solve such a riddle?
One has a heart
But so does the other
Sand off the edges and call me a lover
One has the sweets, the other has the sours
Yet both has me with such unfamiliar powers
With wrists to the sky, and no place to cower,
Swear there is no love greater than ours

I'm at my best
In front of the rest
But without all the zest
Inside my chest
They couldn't care less
I'm just a mess
If I must confess
That I am just flesh
Under my dress
And I'm not okay

I tried to find reasons to hate you but I couldn't
So I turned my face to the things that I shouldn't
And saw the things that I normally wouldn't

A mouth that lies
Is a mouth unwise
And turns around
And pokes fun at my insides
And breaks my soul
And it bleeds out whole
So the thruth I withhold
Remains the thruth untold...