Talking about your problems as if they make you different
Making small news of suffering to make the face look magnificent
While pain weathers the feathers off ofthe surfaces
Of so many who never share their problems

Talking about your problems or talking in vain
Talking about my problems when I know I'm in pain
Talking about my problems does make me feel sane
Talking about my problems like leaks from my brain
Talking about my problems to create a new frame
Talking about my problems to make me "okay"
Just talking about my problems to make them go away...

The best part of you
Dare I say its true
With honesty and novelty that bleeds all the way through
And beats the inner parts of my chest black and blue
Just to lay in the cut like a bandage of that sooths
Like a flu in my throat that I just cannot subdue
And clings to my skin like only silk can do
Never mind the standards through which perfection is proved
Or the measures that heavan says are the rules
Against every law and more and more
Forms the raw core that is undoubtedly you

To the love I never had
With a drink in my hand
Although the days were never bad
And enemies never glad
I'll still be sad
Even if only by a tad
For the love I never ever had

Its to hard to love
to love and to fight for that love has hardened my heels
and scratched my knees that refuse to bend
To love is hard
to love and to live for love has bruised the skin that covers my heart
and cut my years in half
love is hard
love that has given me more sleeplessness than raging and thundering nights
and filled me to the brim with worry
love
love that forms deep in the inner parts of my being and causes me to move and arch and stand tall
This love that is perfect and potent
This love
That love
My love
Our love
Love here and there and far and fair
From which all is made and all is destroyed
And all is born and all is restored
This love that is me
and you
and us
Naturally and organically and instinctively and automatically
Was made by love, to love, by love
And yet
This love is hard

He's strong but he cries
Like grey angry skies
When he's worn, yet he tries
With Everest to climb
He woke up late
I don't mind
When clouds part
We'll see him smile
He's okay
He is rhyme
He's strong
He is mine

whether in mind
or in town
right side up
or upside down

I love you

I kiss your bottom lip
I kiss your top lip
I kiss all your lips
And the world is a perfect place again

I woke up in pain
With sleep on my brain
In puddles of sweat
And muscles so strained
Sprouled out on springs
Like a pokey syringe
And pillow so flat
I had pain in my dreams
Put my hand on my chest
And tried my best
To feel the air all around me
And get some rest

Today was a hard day
And life is a hard life
But didn't decide to be here
And I can't decide to get out
Because I was created
I'm sure for a purpose
I can feel my heart beat
I cam feel my existence
So if I was created
To do some sort of thing
Then am I like a product
Or someone's existing thing
Surely I belong to someone
Some awesome creative being
Because if I'm a creation
Does that mean I belong to him?
Can I take ownership over all that is happening
In and around and beside and above me
If I have questions
Will He answer me
If I was created
Can I be free?

Cut like diamonds
with parts undesired
he stood on his lonesome
while heaven admired
the curves of his shoulders
and behaviour to be scolded
he was feminine but potent
neither David nor Moses
caught me like a net could
with the softness of manhood
both eyes and mind and brothers understood
like he knew they would
swayed in a dance
melted like glass
oh to understand
the essence of man

While I'm running my fingers through your hair
Trying to figure out of she's been there
She's laced in your shadow
Caught in your stare
And I just feel like the third one there

Sometimes I breathe
Sometimes with ease
Sometimes my breath even gives relief
But sometimes like most times in life
Breathing and believing that it should feel nice
Is nothing but a dream when you've been suffocating on inside

A river flows against a part of me
And washes away the heart of me
oh that a drift
could be so swift
That it rinsed
out the bits
and pieces that were burnt

You used to be mine
but worlds did not align
nor did day, nor did time
so with chills down my spine
and hands intertwined
you were stolen into the sky
now the only hands the that bind
are both hands that are mine

If destiny is destiny and belongs to this life
Then tell me will any on my choices suffice?
Or be laid out before the universe to sun dry
Because dear old destiny decided so before I was even alive
For it was my choice to ask this question, but its not my choice to inevitably die
So is there a point to my decisions, or  is it destiny that is the lie?

Its his fear that something beautiful will happen
And he would be doomed to serve it
Its her fear that something beautiful will happen
With someone who doesn't deserve it
If not for fear, then for the beauty of it all, we run
We until the sun light runs out
Then we run in the cold until the golden embers of morning pierces us deep into our chests
Still then, we try to find a way out, a way against, a way away from the passions that will undoubtedly cause us our greatest pleasures and our greatest fall

We're naked in you car baby
Driving slow
Are we're doing this or not baby?
Let me know
We're losing heat and losing fast lately
I'm getting cold
If we're nothing take the next bend drop me at home

Worldly pleasures and passions aside
Riddled with want and mangled desire
Nothing on the earth compares to to the fire
Of reaching and scratching a demanding hive

Curious I know
But damaged as most
Sterile and wicked and panicked I know
To heartlessly speak and poke at the nose
Carry your weight and soul afloat
On the rivers of worries that stear your boat
The past is the past
And future no joke
But curiouser and curiouser
And couriouser you grow

I am far too afraid
To go that way
The path seems dark and murky
Though my heart will erase
The memories made
And leave them all behind me
I must walk
I must move
No more talk
Time to prove
But I am far too afraid
To go that way
And leave this world behind me

I was afraid to touch the glass
It would undoubtably have left a mark
One that had the power and girth
To ruin the life I've built on Earth
If I forgave myself for peeking inside
Would my heart have survived the violent desire
Or the pain that my want would have birthed
I would have to learn to forgive myself
But would God have forgiven me first

Wasted time
combed thin and fine
washed up on the rim of the bath like grime
given like a mirror to the blind
taken from the absent of mind
How quickly you've disappeared from my eyes
My dear wasted time...

In the corner is safe
Safe from the four walls that stare me don't
I'll bury myself in this right-angled paradise
Where there is only room for me

I've made my heart into a well
And filled it with all kinds of hell
I've locked inside
The nights I've cried
Until it dried and became a shell

Please excuse the mess
I don't clean up often
I let my thoughts lay around like stockings
Create piles of memories in corners and pockets
Until everything I look for is  lost and
I'll still toss in some more reasons through the seasons of dropping
Little bits and drips of emotions and mocking
Every and any lover who tries to stop me
From building up a wall of unexamined issues and problems
That follows me from place to place as angry as an angry mob could
So as you can tell
I don't have time to mop a tile or pack a shelf
And still, make a bed and be a friend as well

When you don't understand my pain
you don't understand my pride
My heart beats all the same
Whether you're far or near my side

If we are not us
And  I am not me
Then what is it that either could be?
Having submerged myself into the deep
Leaving not a morsel for myself to keep
one plus one would never equal three
So I became one half of two
Forgetting my singularity
merged to a tether that never belonged to me
and without even a letter
had left and forgotten me
Leaving neither us to be us
Nor me to be me
Leaving both I and we without an identity

The thing about love
There's no air spaces between those letters
You suffer alone or give without measure
You take to the sky on your own
Or have your wings severed
To be lonely or suffocated
Which would be better?
To love or to fly
That is the question

I had a nightmare that shook my chest
And when I woke up it was still right there in my vest

It a **** awful night to love you the way I do
With a heat that burns my heart and bakes straight through
My chest and sheets and mattress too
But when the morning finally comes
You would have never knew

They said I don’t connect
I’m an island at best
My shores leave no doors for ships to meander in
I have some sort of infection causing an alien imperfection
In the middle of the space between my outer and inner section
And as a result of natural selection

It requires human intervention

To produce a cure rather than a prevention
I know I’m not attracted to human interaction
They say this is a reaction to the way I feel abandoned
Or some **** of that standard
That I’m not really aware was apparent
But here’s an idea of what defective is
We had a conversation and I could barely get a word in
So put that in parenthesis
And forget I ever mentioned it

But before you go and question me
Look inwardly and a reflect a beat
If the quality of your conversation is so impeccably pristine
Then why the heck intercept my life with your analogies
Of the way I don’t stay in the hay of your society
And be bought by the back and forth of whats right and what couldn’t be
Or whats possibly normality
Or something that just might look like it
I cut myself loose from the discussion of that entirely

So if you gonna look at me
For whatever reason that may be
You might as well surrender to see
That I might just be
The only normal thing
About this whole **** topic, I’m openly addressing

My bed is my bed
There's no place I'd rather be instead
It's where I lay my head
Down to rest
My bed is the best

I woke up in the midst of my suffering
To realize that my feelings were swollen
And my heart was sore
And that it was a gift to have to apply bandages to your wounds
And that having time to tend to your swollen feelings
Meant that you've been given another day
And having feelings inside of you meant that you're still alive

I am dying
And I don't remember in between suffering
But sometimes, after I've opened my eyes to the light of day
And lay in that curve in my bed that I've lied in many mornings before
And I can feel it
Its hands and knees crawling inside of me
And I remember
The way I did many times before
That its been a part of me since the day I was conceived
And that we should sympathize together
Because we've had the same destiny since the beginning of time

Sometimes anywhere is nowhere
And sometimes thats the most comforting place to be

Crystal, Silver, and Diamonds
if i give my life to you,
would You love me too?
Shimmer Glisten that Ivory
i lose my religion to you
to make me beautiful
the Lights are Shinning
Brighter than lightning
my One True Love is here
Shattered the atmosphere
I'm dressed to the nines in Him
head to toe striking
my One true Love is here
Mr. Velveteen

I'm feeling all kinds of tired
Like I've lost a piece of my mind somewhere
In the blossom of a new desire
One for which I didn't prepare

It stalks me
I keep my eyes open out of fear
How can I return to the me I used to be
Because no matter how far I run it'll always be near

I think of her often
This beautiful force
I followed her into my head one night
And got lost

For goodness sake
My heart still beats
Air still crashes through my lungs when I breath
Veins still spit blood onto my skin when I bleed
My eyes still follow lines down pages when I read
My thoat still expands and contracts when  I eat
My waist still leads to knees then down legs to my feet
And someday you'll remember that  I'm still a human being
Even after I acted beast when I said those things

Mothers watched boys being stolen from their beds
In the midst of their dreaming
To become men that couldn't fend off the nightmares when they slept

When I was a drinker
I would swallow my weight
And lay weightless in the bathroom
Until I forgot  my  own name

It took hours to stop the bleeding
And years after
The wound was still healing

And so the lark sings
To the day's first dawning
Some dusty motel
Sees a woman fawning
And at once it's all over
For naught but for wanting.

It takes time to feel
What has not yet healed
I felt and kneel
And wavered a shield
And paited skys teel
Like a flickering film real
It shook me like an electric eel
My eyes forever seal
Because this moment can't be real

Sunrise rise from the dusk
For all the animals to busk
From the elephants tusks
Fall the butterflys husk

It started like an ending
And began as it finished
Even found its all missing
Running fast as it walks slow
Becoming bigger as it was growing smaller
As absent the present mind
While it was becoming something, it was nothing
Broken fixed things
Opened already closed eyes
Melted ice solid in the cold of the warmest air
That was the truth of the lies
And as dead as it was alive

Truthfully and honestly
A flower blooms
In the guitars strings of life
But dies in the trumpets of floorboards
And tugs at the armhairs
And red beard of the goats belly
Twice now I've come across
As we are all voyagers
And walk of the tips of out feet
And a plague on all cowards

The future is a beautiful and terrifying place

No matter how much I change
I always end up wishing I was someone better
When the true is
I always end up back in this place
Where I'm the same person I started out with
I'm a liar
I the idea that I can change myself is the biggest lie I've told yet

It's unhealthy
But you left so stealthily
In the  morning while it was pouring ounces
Remembering those days ever since
You stepped out into the rain from where my love is
Now I'm hunched over the basin trying to rinse
Your face out of my hair