if you are the christmas tree
i am ashes in his chimney

it's not the same, is it?


--Watercolour

twenty-fifth floor
double room with a view
on how far you're gone
silly birds
crashing into the window.

they can't get in
i can't get out.


--Watercolour

i promise you, i promise you
you'll soon forget.

i never was here.


-- Watercolour

My days are busy with pretending
To be normal,
But my evenings, my love,
They're filled with either liquor
Or wanting you
So much,
So much...


-- Eleanor

He says I care about you,
I love you but I can't be
In love with you right now.

What kind of excuse is that?

Just break me already.


-- Eleanor

I look up to a pale blue sky
With apologetic eyes
And a heart so very filled
With dim.
Take me back
To the empty box I was
Before I began feeding myself
Gin and jokes of grim.
God, please wash me off my sin,
Or take this foolish thick layer
Of skin.


-- Eleanor

It is in the very feeling of hurt
That I begin
To feel
Nothing.


-- Eleanor