i keep getting older,
and you get younger
i see it in your eyes you wanna cry
i just want to see you smile
but you know where this leads
so there is no teeth in sight
no joy over the horizon

i think its getting dark now
because thirty times six is, six months of time

thats enough time to find someone to care,
to build a new foundation for a beautiful relationship
built on love and trust

like we were meant to.

you know
nobody wants to do drugs
maybe junkies
but then we are all junkies aren't we
so many drug users feel like their less than human
myself included
i feel like i am the enemy of society
push me under the decrepit buildings and never look back
i'm a monster with the look of a skeleton
this cant be right
we have to treat people better than this
we are all running from trauma from childhood
maybe later in life
who knows
we all have demons
the key to recovery is not cold turkey
it is
understanding of past traumas
coming to peace with them
learning to live with them
bringing old demons up to play and fighting them until their nothing
you have to want to get better
until you want to get better
you will stay where you are

she was not just my perfect porcelain painting
she was my best friend and i lost most of everything
i will try to fix pain with pain
it is very effective
and i forget very easily
soon it will all be gone